The opt-out generation?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Hostess
30313 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

As someone who works as a private piano teacher, my hours are almost part-time, so I guess I can see it both ways.  I am respectful of either choice, whatever anyone chooses – personally, even just from half of my piano students taking off for the summer, i’ve gotten restless having more days off – so for me, I feel that work is there to keep my mind stimulated and me moving.  All that being said, I also don’t have kids yet, and could see how being a SAHM could be really beneficial as well!

Post # 4
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee

I work and have a full time job my friend is married with three kids and didn’t work then ran day care outta her home and now subs.  I’ve seen her emotional dollar coaster rides through the years n she is happiest getting out of the house.  i believe she was happy to stay home but I could also see the life drain outta her.  I couldn’t give up my career to be a sahm. 

Post # 6
Member
6928 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t have children yet either, but I am someone who really believes in higher education for myself. I don’t push my beliefs on others, but for me, it is how I was raised. My mother has a Ph.D. and has worked full-time since I was about 8. Now, before that, she was a SAHM to me and my two brothers. While she was a SAHM, she was finishing her Masters degree, which is what she needed to be career ready. My dad was, at the time, making between 80-100K per year, so financially it was a sound decision. They are since divorced, but my mom and step dad are both very well off financially because they have both always been career people other than the 8 or so years my mom took off.

However, I say all this to point out that not being in the work force for 8 years was not something my mom necessarily enjoyed in theory. She ended up working at the “play group” (daycare through church) that my brothers and I went to, she became an avid volunteer and is now in line to be the state president of the organization she joined 23 years ago, and she taught aerobics classes. She was by no means able to “just” be at home with us all day – she would have gone crazy, her words. (I do not mean “just” in a derogatory way, I’m simply pointing out that she needed to do things outside of the home to feel sane.)

She and I are very similar in temperament and personality. I think I *could* stay home until my children were in pre-K or something and be fine. I won’t be doing that unless DH gets a massive raise though, because as it stands, we make about the same salary and I will make more within the year when I finish my Masters. I plan on following somewhat in my mother’s footsteps and will definitely be getting at *least* a Specialist degree in my field, if not a Doctorate. I feel like it’s almost biological; I feel like I need to keep learning more and more about my field to be able to say that I have done all I can to be good at it.

I do wish the US was more parent friendly like Canada and we got awesome maternity leave so I could be at home for longer than the 6-12 weeks. That part kind of makes me sad, but I don’t see it changing.

I can see the merit in both decisions. I will say, I don’t understand people staying at home after their children are in school? One of my best friends growing up had a “SAHM” all the way through graduating high school and it just didn’t really make sense to me. The dad wasn’t exactly raking in the dough, either, so I never got why she didn’t at least work part-time after her kids went off to school all day. If anyone can explain that one to me I am happy to learn more since obviously I would *never* ask that of someone in person!

Post # 7
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I think it’s often a financial/practical decision. For example, in my case it may be that childcare would cost more than my wages would bring in. In this case, should I say “we’ll suffer financially now, and take a gamble that I will get a promotion in future”? Or, should I take a chance and say “I’ll take time out and just hope that I can rejoin the career ladder later”? Both choices can be risky.

As far as choosing to be SAHM’s goes, I think that a lot of young women think that they don’t have as much to prove any more, so they’re OK with it.

As far as SAHD’s go, I know quite a few of these, or else guys who have gone part time after having children. I will say this though… they tend to look after the kids perfectly well, but the ones I know don’t tend to look after the house and do domestic work to the same standard as their female partners… that burden often still falls disproportionately on women.

… we still have a long way to go before we have equality.

Post # 8
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@giru618:  I actually have a friend who has a 3 week old baby and she’s the mega breadwinner, so her hubs quit work to stay at home. 🙂 He wanted kids soooooooooooooooooooo bad and was a teacher and he’s over the moon about it.

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