- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Well, yeah, there are a lot of oversharers, but I don't think wanting to show off wedding photos is over-sharing. Theres a reason people leave wedding albums on their coffee tables for decades :)
i understand what you mean. i think a lot of people ARE guilty of oversharing..i don't think they understand that what they put out there in cyberspace STAYS out there forever. however, in general i dont think wedding photos are oversharing (though i totally understand your husbands reasoning), i don't really think they are TMI.
that being said, i know how you feel. i have to be careful what i put out there about my fiance, due to the nature of his job. i have a blog right now, and share very little details about him (but there are photos), but i'm not sure i can keep the blog after we're married. if i can, i know i will need to give the address to the powers that be at his company. i also had "rules" of what i could put on our wedding website, since his first and last name are on it.
I AGREE! Not entirely, as I have posted pictures on here, but I do think that expanding social media have become vehicles for narcissism and eroded our internal censors. There is definitely too much "look at me" and attention seeking. Arguably, the mere existence of a facebook or such account could be deemed attention seeking, but I think it can be tasteful in moderation. I do not, however, think we need a status update because you went to the bathroom, know what I'm saying?
End rant.
That being said, I completely see your side of it and think that the flip side is that forums like this are great outlets and resources and that sharing a little can help those aims. I know your wedding must have been beautiful, and I am sure your family and friends will love seeing your pictures!
I would be frustrated by that too! Could you create a private album on a photo website like Shutterfly that you need a password to access? That way you could send the password out to your family and friends.
You could also post a few pictures on here of just your wedding details or just you in your wedding dress! If he and the members of his honour guard aren't in the pictures, it would be okay right?
Over-sharers DEFINITELY... but most that I come in contact with are face to face. lol. I think the internet sharing is more of a compulsive need to feel like others care rather than over-sharing... nevertheless that's kinda gotten out of hand too.
I commend you for your awesome submission and respecting your husbands desires.... and like he said (well what i got)... the people that needed to see all the awesome work you put into the wedding were there... everyone else... doesn't really matter.
congratulations! =)
I agree that a lot of people do overshare. The things that really bug me are private or personal information (don't care that you just had sex and don't tell me where you are going to be all the time).
I am the biggest over-sharer ever! I have no filter and i hate it...I am that person that updates their facebook all the time. I have to make a super concious effort to stop myself from sharing too much.
I don't necessarily agree because I think "community" has become a much larger term. I mean, if you lived in a smaller community, which was normal many years ago, people would have more information and exposure to your life than they did many years ago. The concept of 'sharing' within your 'community' has expanded as the concept of 'community' has expanded.
Um. what was the question again.. :p
I had to be a bit careful on sharing. I'm a lawyer, and most of my business comes from people who have found me on my Web site. I therefore wanted to make sure that when someone Googled my name, they would get my professional Web site, not wedding details.
However, I still share nonidentifying photos here. And I have identifying ones on "friends-only" sharing on Facebook.
You say that he wanted you to not post because he is an officer. Then you make it sound like he just wants it to be private because it is for you two. I guess I am not sure of your exact angle, if you are saying he wants it to be private because of his job, or because it is just meant for the two of you, or if you are asking in general- do people over share?
Anyway, there is definitely something to it. I am a very private person, and I am not on facebook, and niether is DH. FB is way too "on the grid" for me. I think a lot of mystery is lost, and also- do I really want to know about those people from the past, or have ex boyfriends contacting me? No way. I am an old-school person, and I think it is a very interesting time -everyone sharing everything. Get this- DH does even have a cell. Super old school! With WB, I don't mind posting, no one knows us :)
@cbee: I was asked not to post anything because of the uniform. DH doesn't understand why if this wasn't a factor I would have any interest in posting pictures anyway. He's kind of like "why do you care whether people you don't even know think our centrepieces were cute?" and really... I don't even know!
I was mostly commenting on how it's so common now to post on facebook, or weddingbee or be "blogged" on your photographer's website, that it's strange that I feel kind of left out of "normal" behaviour, that really is relatively new.
I know what you mean! My DH sounds just like yours in that regard! It is just fun and exciting for us to share something that means so much to us, especially to get positive comments. But, I see their point :/ It is such a public generation...
Is he willing to let you share the photos that do not have him or his GM's in them? That way you get to show off your wedding but he still stays out of it. I know police officers dont like having their pictures out there and I can understand why but maybe he would compromise. Granted people would only get to see the BM's, you, and other family but that something, right! :)
Wait...I still don't understand why his uniform is a cause for keeping photos so private? Can you explain more?
I'd be bummed if I wasn't allowed to show off the wedding I put so much effort into. :/ I mean, I don't want to plaster all of my photos all over the internet, but a few key ones will go on facebook for sure.
I unfortunately have to side with your husband on this. I've grown up in family where, because of my father's occupation, we had to do things a little differently. Even now, I'm in the same boat and I am unable to put a wedding announcement in a newspaper or post photos from my wedding online etc. because of my father's occupation. It really, really stinks sometimes, but I'm so proud of my dad that I wouldn't change a thing and I totally understand why things have to be this way. Like it or not, because of his job your husband is a target for bad people. I can completely understand why he wouldn't want pictures of himself online in his uniform. A police officer in my state has recently had his house burned down by a criminal who felt "wronged" by him. Thankfully no one got hurt in the fire, but can you imagine what might have happened to him or his family? That's some scary stuff right there.
@veganglam: like a couple other posters have said, unfortunately there are safety issues around being too public about that fact that one is a police officer.
I am of course respecting his wishes and understand where he's coming from. We're pretty careful on a regular basis.
@charmedlife357: I did put a couple pictures of me and my bridesmaids etc in an album on facebook.
I just think it's interesting that even 5-10 years ago that newspaper announcement (and maybe a select few weddings being profiled in bridal magazines) would have been the only thing people shared for mass public consumption about their weddings, compared to today when there's so many avenues to share info.
I totally love it, since its given DIY and "budget" weddings their chance to shine and so easy to find inspiration photos.
@Sapphiresun- Yes, I agree, we defenetly live in an over-sharing generation. Every new detail of my wedding is posted on this site. lol. But I am thankful because I really do need the visual aids of others weddings to help mine along. Otherwise I have no idea how it would turn out. I love that we can all share our insprirations and help each other out with decisions. I love being able to get an unbiased response from people who wouldnt know it was me even if we were in the same room together. And ofcourse, wedding boards probably save the sanity of our family and friends who dont want to hear the word wedding ever again. lol.
I think this generation has grown into feeling like everyone cares what they're thinking , doing, eating, looking at... but I bet our kids will be 10x's worse. It's bad enough that they'll grow up thinking its the norm to let 500 people online know everything about your life.. not to mention the fact that their lives have been documented and posted all over the web by their parents already since the day they were born. I hate when people do that to their kids... hello pedophiles and creeps!
I really try to censor myself when I use facebook or forums and think "why do people need to know this"
I'm going to ask for my wedding pictures to go on a sharing site that isn't public to everyone, and ask that any pictures on facebook that aren't of the person who posted them be moved over there.
I see his point but I understand your too. You're proud of your work and you want to be recognized for it.
Maybe you can blur out faces and he'll be ok?
I think a lot of people do overshare on the internet and I think a lot of it is that our culture has become one of exposure and it is fueling a lot of people's narcissistic tendencies. However, I don't think share wedding photos is narcissistic especially on a site like weddingbee. You might inspire someone or give people suggestions for their wedding!
We are doing the same thing. Due to the nature of my FI's job, his last name isn't associated with ANYTHING. We didn't do any announcements in the paper...and won't be. We password protected our wedding website...the whole nine yards. I mean, he's put people in jail, etc and if someone found out where we lived and wanted to do harm...oh I can't even go there.
Personally, I'd rather be safe than sorry.
It seems like you would still be able to post photos of the details of your wedding (table settings, favors, cake, decor) that wouldn't include him. The uniform thing doesn't make sense so much as it would that he didn't want pictures posted to protect your identities.
I can't imagine not being able to post a pic of me in my wedding dress for my friends on facebook. I don't see it as over-sharing since you shouldn't have anyone on your facebook that you don't know, plus you can make albums private so ONLY certain people can see them.
I think he's got a point. There have been many times where I cringe at the stuff people will post of facebook. I can't understand what makes them think its socially acceptable to bear all, literally and figuratively. However, I love sharing fun stuff on facebook. My general rule is to never post anything that I wouldn't want my husband, boss or mother to see. It keeps everything pretty safe!
I have to say, I kind of like the oversharing. Think about it: the 1940s had WWII, the 70s had Vietnam, JFK. For us, our universal experiences are blogs and Facebook. Sometimes people do overstep the line (hello? I don't want to know my unattractive acquaintance just made out with someone for an hour!), but in general, it's awesome to be able to keep track of people from high school and college. Facebook has done for urban and suburban dwellers what small town do for casual acquaintances. Do you still want your best friend from kindergarten to be your bff? Maybe not. Do you want to know that they're alive, well and happy? Probably.
I love that we're all coming together on the internets :).
I feel similarly to privacy as your husband, to some extent. I don't want to have any pictures featured in public (photog blog, paper, etc). But, I do plan to create a facebook album that is restricted to family and close friends. I hate the idea of my image being out there in the world promoting who knows what. So I tend to keep things pretty tight too.
But, I do want to share my memories and photos with people who are important to me. And since most of my family lives far away, facebook and email allows me to do that.
@slicey19: with much difficulty! I've been running defence since the wedding. Anytime I see a photo, I email/call them and ask them to remove it.
I agree better safe than sorry, and like I said will post the odd centrepiece, favour or something. I'm not that upset about not, I just find it interesting that today the "first" thing guests do is go home and post photos on facebook of other people.
We also had one photographer whose work we really liked that we couldn't hire because she wouldn't remove the rights to put our wedding on her blog/submit it to magazines etc from our contract.
mu uncle is a sherrif deputy ow whatever its called and his facebook and my now aunts facebook has there wedding pictures all over and he wore his uniform, he set his page to private vieing so no ourtsiders can see or comment. as i think this is a great apporach as some of the family was not able to make it and really enjoyed seeing them on facebook!!!
@camrie: agreed. My facebook is set so that all info, aside from my gender, maybe, is friends only. If someone is so determined to find your wedding pictures that they'll hack into your facebook (the only way some crazy ex-con could find your photos if you account is set to friends only), then they're going to know a lot more about you than facebook photos would ever reveal. I understand the desire for safety, for sure, but I just don't really see what posting some photos to a friends-only facebook album will do.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 53 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| stardustintheeyes | 36 |
| MrsPom | 36 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| weddingvibe | 1 |
I married a police officer, and he wore his dress uniform in our wedding, and 6 of his coworkers were in his honour guard. Because of this my husband has asked that no photos of our wedding be posted anywhere. Not on facebook, not on weddingbee, not on the photographer's website, which I'm respecting.
HOWEVER it kind of sucks! I worked really hard on our wedding and want to show it off!
DH says people have gone generations without being able to share everything with 200 of their closest facebook friends and posting it all over the internet. I agree that we got married for ourselves, and that's all that really matters... most of the time.
What do you guys think? Has the internet spawned a generation of over-sharers?
ETA: I'm totally not saying that wanting to show wedding photos is over-sharing. I married a bit of a techno-phobe who really doesn't understand what I get out of keeping in contact with tons of people from highschool, or getting opinions/support from strangers on these boards, so I just though it was interesting!