- 4 years ago
I am a Waiting Bee, so this might be far too pre-emptive, but I just have to say it.
It is really kind of heartbreaking for people to be told about your engagement on facebook, especially if they think you two are close. There are a few other things that I think (and call me boring and traditional) should still be done formally.
1. Tell your parents in person, or if you really can’t wait, over the phone.
2. Ask your wedding party in person, or over the phone to partake in your special day. Or at least ASK them.
3. Don’t make it 100% obvious that your stag & doe/ jack & jill, etc. is nothing more than a money grab to you. Put some effort into it!
If I was your mother, and I saw a post that said “I’m engaged!!!” and that was the first I was hearing about it, and it already had 50 Likes, I would be devastated. Maybe that’s not everyone, but I felt it was really sad when my SO’s cousin did that to his parents, and siblings.
I am currently a bridesmaid for a wedding, I was not asked over the phone, or even on facebook. In truth, I wasn’t really asked at all, and I’m still a bit sore about it. The Bride is my BEST friend, we’ve been friends for 15 years, and we’re both 21. Anyway, I guess she assumed she wouldn’t need to ask, which is a beautiful assumption, if you think about it. Problem is, I am insecure, and she has lived 2 hours away for the last 2 years, so I wasn’t 100% sure I’d made the cut, and she was talking about all sorts of wedding stuff before it was made obvious to me that she figured I knew.
I love stag & doe’s, but I’ve been to a few where it was obvious to me, and everyone else, that the couple wasn’t willing to spend any money on making the party fun, and they appeared to just want gifts and people’s money. There were no decorations, the drink prices were outrageous, and there was a lot of pressure to spend money, without the ruse of games, raffle draws, goldfish/worm insurance, etc. Some may say this is just “honesty” I think that since everyone knows a stag & doe is a money grab anyway, you could at least make it fun for everyone involved, including yourself. Before everyone jumps down my throat about “maybe they didn’t have the budget left for decorations, etc.” you could be right, but I know the couple pretty well, and I didn’t get that vibe, so you’ll just have to take my opinion with a grain of salt.