(Closed) The Problem With Loving From A Distance

posted 5 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4660 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

LDR is the suckiest. FI and I did it for quite awhile, and it was horrendous. We fought so much. He hates phone calls and was so busy, I admit I probably missed him more. I felt so lonely. We just stuck it out knowing it’d get better someday and it did get better! 😀 We’re together again and it’s great. You can get through it! 

Post # 4
Member
3174 posts
Sugar bee

FI and I are in one right now. I live near San Francisco and he lives in San Diego. I’ll be moving down there in about 2 years. It sucks not seeing him all the time and we fight a lot but I know we’ll get through it and I’ll be down there soon. 

Post # 5
Member
43 posts
Newbee

We have an ocean between us, and hands down, the one thing I struggle with the most is worrying about something happening to him and me not being able to get to him soon enough. I totally feel for you and I hope whatever’s wrong isn’t in any way serious.

The other thing I hate is arguments – little spats that could be resolved with a cheeky hug or a kiss in person take much longer to resolve over texts and phonecalls and different timezones. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies.

Post # 6
Member
557 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Miller2McDonald:  I was in a LDR and was also in the hospital. It was terrible, such a difficult year. We’re now married and just so freaking happy. Hang in there. Its all worth it in the end.

Post # 7
Member
3206 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Newt:  omg this. i worry sick that something will happen to him and his family (because they havent met me) won’t think to let me know. If I text him and don’t hear back within a half hour, I immediately start thinking horrible things. Even if someone did call me, it’d take at least 12 hours to get there. Its the very hardest part of our otherwise functional and enjoyable LDR

Post # 8
Member
2860 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Miller2McDonald:  I actually don’t really mind. My FI travels so much anyway that he would rarely be around weekends. We usually talk on the phone for an hour every day and on average see each other twice a month for 3 day weekends.

Post # 9
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The part that I hate the most is knowing that if something happens, I can’t be there until at least a half a day later.

Post # 10
Member
31 posts
Newbee

My FI’s all the way on the east coast. It’s been really difficult since he’s so busy with his teaching and I’ve been wasting away before I start my final quarter at university next month. thing is, we practically lived together for the past three years. i worry about him all the time- especially during sandy. when i visited him last month it turns out he was just fine– playing soccer and having game nights with his coworkers- including one that i have a problem with : 

for the past six months he’s been acting unusually friendly with this woman- like i never knew him as the type to befriend such gregarious women, let alone text/facebook some of the things he did– he even hid some of the stuff. the worst part is that i had been suicidal for the past four months. mix that with my nonexistent confidence, the distance, and his recent behavior makes for a really depressing time.

i (and my two bffs) trust that he never had ill intentions. it just hurts. it hurts and he isn’t here to reassure me he’s not doing anything bad. i know he’s committed, but i’m scared my own brain is letting me down- i thought we’ve been through everything and that i knew him, but i feel so disconnected.i try to remember this…

 

Post # 11
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

It does suck! I’m new to WB and definitely to this board, but we’ve been long distance since we met. Some days are harder than others, and it’s easier knowing that there is an end in sight. 

He’s dealing with some personal issues right now, and it’s really tough not to be able to be there to physically touch him and help him feel better. He goes through phases where he is better and others where he is worse, but the hardest thing is knowing that he can hide it from me so easily since we’re apart.

Hang in there, you’re not alone!

Post # 12
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It has its moments. We lived next door to each other for 2 year, and we’re going 3 years long distance about a 2 hour flight away. It’s wonderful when I come visit, which is fairly often. I don’t mind him not wedding planning with me, he doesnt care for that stuff much anyway. 

He comes home in 5 months and we get to spend the rest of our lives together. EXCITED.

Post # 13
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think the hardest part for me is how to me everything has changed.  My life revolves around someone else now…that I get to see rarely.  What happens in his life, my life, our life is incredibly important to me!  However, those that I work with still seem to think I process things as a single (which is understandable since they haven’t seen us together much).  But on days when I really really really am missing FH, those around me act as if it’s not big deal.  I’m not whining or anything of that nature, they just seem to forget that I do have a family now – I do still have to carve out time for us to be together (even if it’s just on the phone) and it’s just as legitimate as those who carve out time for family in the same house.  It isn’t horrible, just a little discouraging sometimes.

Post # 14
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@missbee15:  My life revolves around someone else now…that I get to see rarely.

 This was the hardest part for me as well. OP stay busy and keep your mind on the end goal when you have a bad day. That’s my only advice.

Post # 15
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’ve been in a LDR for 5 years, now we’re getting married. Yes, I agree you fight a lot more, you suffer because you miss each other, and it gives you a LOT of headaches thinking all kinds of stuff.. But I must say that in the end all that is worth it cause after we got engaged, everything got better and we’ve never been better (:

Just hang in there! It’s worth it!

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