- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
This was a year ago, in October….I’m a ghost fiend, there’s no doubt about it, and my daughter, Punkin is a chip off the old block in that respect. We don’t get to spend a lot of time together, she lives about an hour away AND has a baby, Little Britches…anyway, The Melting Pot here in Littleton is reputed to be quite haunted, and in an effort to profit, they offer haunted fondue and paranormal investigations all through the month of October!
We had to go, it was a moral imperative, and when Mr. 99 heard what we were up to, he chivalrously offered to spend the night with Little Britches at our house so that Punkin and I could go, citing that he would rather extinguish a cigar in his ass than attend such nonsense.
The day arrives, she gets to our house and after we get all dressed and head out, we’re literally buzzing with excitement! Dinner was served at a terribly late, 10:30 and they’ve got all of us in their meeting room, so we’re seated with strangers, but no matter to us, Punkin and I could make friends anywhere, we’re chatting with the couple nearest us when out of the corner of my eye, I notice a flurry of movement.
The waiters are coming in with the steaming pots of hot oil and broth for the meat course and a fight has broken out between two men on the other side of the room…lord knows why, but its serious, they’re throwing fists and swearing up a storm. All I can think of is my Punkin, who wanted to sit on the outside of the booth because she’s shy….standing a good foot shorter than me and weighing 112lbs soaking wet, I pick her up and put her behind me just in time for the two men to come tumbling over each other into my lap, bringing a waiter with them!
Que boiling hot broth, and roiling testosterone all over me, the table and the other couple…luckily I was wearing a pretty thick sweater and boots, so no burns to speak of, and the manager sailed in and pulled them apart….our waiter was nice enough to get me a Melting Pot T-shirt to change into and after some vigorous scrubbing, we were back to normal, with a bottle of champagne from management in apology, and our brawlers ejected from the event.
The rest of the meal goes by without incident, although we had some good laughs over the whole scene!
It’s midnight by the time they shut off the lights and take us on THE HAUNTED TOUR! First stop…the ladies bathroom…I know, but once all the lights went out and we were in there…things got spooky, really spooky…and even though we were all standing perfectly still, the tight clip of high heels could be heard coming straight for us, the ghostly resident of the rest room coming in for a close encounter with Punkin and I….she loses her shit, wraps herself around me and buries her face in my stomach…trying not to cry. The lights come on and everyone sees….but was cool about it with her, cause that was SCARY.
The men’s room is next…gross…but ok, and in there, shit got real, faucets were turning on, the urinals and toilets were flushing, flashes of light and knocking…this time Punkin gets it over with just hides behind me, shaking like a leaf….we hustle out of there because even the psychic was blown away and as we’re leaving, one of the other men is busting Punkin’s chops about hiding….she just told him, “You don’t know my Mom sir, she’d give the Devil a fight if she had to…” and that shut him up good.
They get us up stairs with this ghost box thing…it’s really like a bogus radio scanner and all it does is give all of us a headache….then we’re running around in the basement with cameras and radios taking EVP’s….Punkin gets lost in the chaos, that place is like a maze down there and I finally find her, huddled with another woman in a booth near the almost non-existant light of an exit sign….
She’s had enough, had the shit scared out of her and is exhausted, its 2 in the morning, and everything is over….we head out to the car in the driving rain to schlep home…or so I thought….a fatal car accident shuts down the highway and its obviously going to take a while….thinking I’ll exit hop and avoid the whole mess, I get us so amazingly lost in the slums of Denver…we’re in a tiny, rag top BMW rolling through an alley that I’m pretty sure 7 people get mugged in a night, there’s garbage, wooden pallats, and strange men just strolling around back there, and I have no idea where we are.
I lock the doors, grab my baton from the behind the seat and tell Punkin to hang on as I decide fast and lost is better slow and available….we blow through it and after the scariest half hour of my life, find the on ramp to the highway….
The rain has turned to ice, we’re in a rear-wheel drive roadster and I’m fighting the elements to just get us home….fishtailing around and loosing traction on the hills, Punkin is starting to get nervous, I can see her white-knuckling the seats….I turn on the radio and we start singing Bob Seager….
3:47 am….we finally pull into the garage….smelling like broth, and fear, exhausted and freaked out….we get ready for bed…..Mr. 99 hardly notices my arrival in bed, after sleepily patting me through the blankets…he goes back to snoring….I close my eyes and hear the tiniest, littlest voice say, “…mom?”
Its Punkin…with Little Britches, “I’m scared…can we sleep with you guys?”
So there’s all four of us, crammed in our bed, I conk out because it has been a day….Punkin and I sleep in until 2 in the afternoon…where we eat a late breakfast of Mr. 99’s famous biscuits and gravy while we recount the events of the night….and you know what she said, my Punkin? After all of that, the fight, the oil, the scariness and the very real danger of the drive home….?
“Can we do it again next year Mom?”