(Closed) JAILED: the real reason why Dad might not pay for wedding..:(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hi Beautiful!

I’m really sorry that you are having to deal with all these difficult issues during this wonderful time in your life. 

On the bright side though, now that you’ll be paying for your wedding yourself you can do whatever you want!  And now that some of the issues with your father have come to light maybe it will be easier for the rest of your family to move on and be happier.  Also as a side note, parents aren’t required to pay for our weddings.

Best of luck!

Post # 4
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m sorry for this terrible situation with your dad, but the best thing you can do right now is be supportive of your family and help each other out!  If your dad does go to jail, that is his doing.

You must look on the bright side though, and although it will be hard, start saving as much as you can now for your wedding.  It will still be a wonderful and exciting day, even if your dad will not be able to attend.

Good luck with everything in this difficult time!

Post # 5
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

My dad is like this.  I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  Growing up no one could protect my sister and me from it, our mother left us.  So I know the feeling of not being “normal” and having immense shame; the feeling of absolute terror.

My dad is pretty well off now but he’s always been a penny pincher.  We were quite poor when I was really young.  Anyways, I’ve learned that I’d rather be poor than to be in a situation where my dad throws me money and treats me like trash, b/c he did it for years while I was in high school.  Almost trying to buy my love without having to apologize for what he did to my sister and me.  Unfortunately, I never called the police and had charges pressed.  I’m glad your mother is serving papers, because NO ONE deserves or should put up with that kind of situation!

Perhaps you can re-examine your “dream” wedding for something smaller.  There are many people who are going through tough financial times, me included.  My budget it $2000.  It’s about prioritizing and making sacrafices, but in the end, you’re marrying the man of your dreams!  Look to the future!  Fiance and I have made plans later in our marriage to have a huge party with all the perks and have the dream honeymoon when we graduate college and he has a well paying position.  I just look at it, I have the rest of my marriage to celebrate with my Fiance!

Post # 7
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I think losing deposits is worth it.  Maybe you could cancel the catering and venue, do a lovely park wedding that has pavillions and cater it yourself or have friends help!  Maybe BBQ themed which is fairly cheap and you wouldn’t have to cut the guest list?  Are you doing this over labor day weekend?  Or you can have a nice pasta dinner at your Church?  I’m sure there are other venues where you’re at that are next to free. 

EDIT: I just have to say my dad would make promises to pay for things or set me up, and then not follow through.  So I know the frustration of being helpless at that last minute.  Not being able to pay for things that I needed or wanted.  Just think, you have your Fiance!

Post # 9
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry about your situation.  I think BeeKiss2 has some good ideas.  If you want, PM me and maybe I can help you come up with some solutions too.  (((Hugs)))

Post # 11
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

What about a smaller wedding with a reception held at a restaurant? 

Post # 12
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

That’s what we’re doing!  We’re having a nice dinner for our 30 guests!  I’m just so sorry that he did this to your family.

Post # 13
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

*Hugs* How about a romantic elopement and the maybe a reception when the drama dies down? Sounds like you need a vacation!

Post # 14
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

Or maybe you could still use the same venue-and do different foods, like if you were going to do a sit-down meal, maybe do a simpler buffet, or appetizers, or if you were going to do appetizers you could do cake and punch or dessert reception??  Perhaps you could have your person making your cake do a small cake and sheet cakes, or cupcakes.  Perhaps your photographer could take photos for an hour, and other friends could take photos for the rest of the reception?  I hope some of these ideas help you.  

Post # 16
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

What time of the day is the wedding? 

The topic ‘JAILED: the real reason why Dad might not pay for wedding..:(’ is closed to new replies.

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