Post # 1
So Fiance has a ginormous family, like 50 people, maybe more, & I have 5 in my family… its almost ridiculous haha.
I didn’t know we were having a rehearsal dinner until last week Fiance said his dad booked the rehearsal dinner place. Practically all his family is going to it. My mom can’t make it cause she didn’t know about it & is picking up her bf from the airport that’s hours away. It will all be just FI’s family, & I’m sad that no one told me anything until it was already booked. It wasn’t Fiance fault, he didn’t know about it & his dad was being nice by doing this.
Fiance tells me his dad wants to cause its tradition the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner. But I’m paying for the wedding myself & for some reason I’m not thrilled about this. I mean, I’m not mad at all but not exactly happy, either. I’d probably feel differently if I knew about it before it was booked.
It feels wierd to call it a rehearsal dinner when we’re not rehearsing & my family can’t come :(.
Post # 3
Im sorry that none of your family is going. That is the whole point of a rehersal dinner. I understand your mother not coming, but is there a way she can show up later?
Post # 4
I need to talk to her about it still, I’m not sure of the time or anything like that. I don’t know if I can invite my bridesmaids or anyone I’m close to. On FI’s side, I think the majority of his family is going. I mean, I know they will be my family, but I’m not close to any of them & I want some people there I’m close to or I’ll just be overwhelmed. Otherwise, I don’t really even want to go.
Post # 5
Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner includes the entire bridal party (groomsmen, bridesmaids, ushers, readers, singers, etc.) and family (however you choose to define that) so your bridal party should definitely be invited. The rehearsal dinner is usually thrown by the groom’s family, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t invite whoever you want. That would be like saying that since the wedding is usually hosted by the bride’s parents, the groom’s family can’t come. Silly. So just go ahead and let them know who is on your guest list for the rehearsal dinner, then go and enjoy! It’s an evening that is about the two of you and about thanking the people that have helped with the wedding. It’ll be fun! And since someone else is planning it, it’s one less thing for you to worry about!
Post # 6
Could you try talking to your FI/then have him talk to his Dad.
If you want to go but want to have your friends there: Have him start out conversation with “Oh we’re so excited. We wanted somewhere to thank our guests for coming, and our friends for participating so this will give us that opportunity!” If he says your friends aren’t invited say that’s to bad. You’ll have to limit your time at this “welcome dinner” so that you can have some time to spend with your friends to show your appreciation. Or something
If you don’t want to go: Have him be clear that you aren’t rehearsing, so you don’t feel the need to have a rehearsal dinner. If they want to have a “welcome dinner” for their family you’d be happy to stop in and greet everyone. However, since it’s the day before your wedding you’ll have stuff that needs to be done and won’t be able to stay the entire time. Then enthusiastically thank hi.
Of course, most of the above assumes that your Fiance agrees with your feelings about the rehearsal. You didn’t make it clear how your Fiance feels so it’s hard to give great advice.
So frustrating that you didn’t know about it till now. :/ But I bet the intention is to include the bridal party – if he’s going with tradition that’s what rehearsal dinners are for.
Post # 7
I talked to Fiance about it last night & he didn’t really know what his dad was doing either or who was invited. So we’re kinda both in the dark on this. I just asked Fiance to talk to his dad about it, so we’ll see how it goes & who’s invited.
I wasn’t really sure what a rehearsal dinner was if we weren’t rehearsing. Maybe its more of a “welcome dinner” but I should find out soon.
Post # 8
lol. you’re funny. usually the wedding party gets together in a celebration of the days events to come. they eat together and share laughs.. they rehears how who comes first, second, blah blah, so and so stands here and then you come. Stuff like that. We are not having a rehearsal dinner as… there is no bridal party….lol. But you will enjoy it but they really should have asked if your mom or other family members could make it..