- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I think she'd be like this whether or not her family was well off.. While I was a lot more carefree than you at 21 (no BF, just a part time job, going to school, etc) I wasn't a clueless girl. I did all the bills for my 3 other roommates, got the furniture, paid my tuition, etc.
I was in front of two girls in line at Moes today who are probably close to my age (22) and they were annoying the crap out of me saying stuff like that!
i.e. "My mom pisses me off so much! She takes half my paycheck away and puts it in a savings account for me. I only have $400 a week to spend on food and clothes."
Cry me a freakin' river and grow up. I wonder what happens to these girls when they get some responsibilities.
Wow . . . just wow. When I was 21, I got groceries, cleaned, did laundry, was looking for a job, graduated college, found an apartment and paid (most of) my bills. I think real life is going to be difficult for your friend.
I found this some of my friends who always lived at home even when they went to college. I went to college but I had my own apartment and even lived abroad. I had to work, pay bills, cook, clean etc. I was sheltered in some ways as I still received financial assitance, but I did have reponsibilities. My MOH is exactly like this at 24 and while we are best friends there are some things we just don't see eye to eye on. We just have different priorities but it actually works for us because we keep each other grounded.
Wow that's crazy.
I just moved out with FH into our first place and I was still in college for the first month of living here. and I'm only 20 - I'm still looking for a job and the most I splurge on is something for the wedding and we only go out to eat once every paycheck to save money but so we still get to go out together, and we usually only do cheap places.
I wasn't on my own at 21. I was still in college. I had like, 3 bills a month, no big deal. A cheap apartment with a friend. But i also knew how to cook and clean and do my own laundry. I was financially supported in college but I would NEVER act so strangely to a good friend of mine! And i didn't have any 21-year-old friends married with babies, so I can see how your situation is different to her, but I'd never be all OMG weirdo about it. How awkward!
She lives at home. I'm not surprised she doesn't do her laundry or cook her own meals, frankly.
The real world will give her a good smack on the fanny =]. I say this as a previously sheltered girl. The transition wasn't quite as extreme as everyone made it sound like it would be. Hopefully she'll be ok. =]
I don't know how it is in MI (I'm from the east coast), but you do have a lot of responsibility for someone your age... kid, husband, school, work.
When I was in my early twenties I was going to college/grad school and working part-time to pay rent and other living expenses. But I was partying it up, traveling when I could, and being totally irresponsible in a lot of other ways. At that point, I couldn't have imagined having kids or getting married.
But, I probably wouldn't have said that to a friend who was married with a kid... so I don't know what your friend was trying to get out of voicing those comments. Maybe she feels insecure about something in her own life?
And yeah, at 21 she needs to learn how to be independent of her parents... she'll have a tough time.
WOW - I was on my own at 21 paying for school and my apartment and all the bills. I think it is a part of growing up. However, I was a lot more carefree then you. Spending all my extra cash on bar clothes and nights out on the town.
I can see how the girl has trouble putting herself in your shoes with the carefree lifestyle she has.
However, it seems like this girl may never grow up. In that daddy will pay her bills for her and buy her a house etc.
Well, I'm not exactly college age any more (28), but I can tell you when I was in college, I was NOTHING like your friend. As soon as I started college, I was pretty much on my own and paid my own way. I was a total nerd in college and had my nose pretty much buried in a book (I had a GPA to keep high in order to keep my scholarships) and honestly the one thing I regret from college was not having more of a social life. I graduated from school early and also worked my way through, so needless to say, I was pretty dedicated. I remember one time I "splurged" on a $10 shirt from Wal Mart. Oh how I wish I could go back to being that loyal to a budget....sigh...
I can see where she's coming from a little. My best friend got married STRAIGHT out of high school and she had a baby soon after. I was in college and having a blast! I lived in my own apartment out of state, I paid for everthing, worked, bought groceries. I had responsibilities but they were different than my friends. When I went to visit her it was like the twilight zone. We were the same age but it didn't feel that way at all. It's really hard to imagine SUCH a different life than your own. I was 21 years old talking about how I got wasted at a bar and surviving off ramen noodles and chips, she was feeding her little baby and waiting for her hubby to come home so they could eat the pot roast she made, it was just DIFFERENT. So even though I had responsibilities in college I didn't have other people, especially an infant depending on me which is where I think the shock factor comes from. Just my opinion on the matter!
Thanks for the replys guys! I've never really been a partier and I've always been super responsible. So I dont even think I would be totally carefree if I was single. Dont get me wrong. I love to go out and spend time with friends, have a few drinks and a good time. I'm not bound to my home. I guess thats just something that irritates me a little about the getting married and having a baby young stereotype.
I just want to know that there is girls out there who actually KNOW how to make the electric payment! lol
PS she works in a daycare taking care of infants all day and shes going to school to become a kindergarden teacher! Its not like kids are a forgein to her.
I just hope she learns. Some people's parents are very generous but ultimately it hurts their children when they aren't around.
I got pregnant with my daughter while still in college full-time. I gave birth to her about 3 months before my 22nd birthday. She will be 13 next month and I can honestly say I DID miss out on a lot being a full-time student, a mother, and working to pay the bills. She was my only priority for a LONG time and while I don't regret it, I know that I missed out on things because I was busy being a mom. However....for the past 5 or 6 years I have been getting out more and doing more travelling and things like that b/c she is old enough now that I feel comfortable having my mom come up and stay with her while I take a trip every now and then. So yes...you will seem more like an older adult for a while but on the bright side....you will have your kids out of the house an independent and will still be young and spry enough to experience some of those things you are missing out on now =)
I'm 22 and I lived on my own for the past two years. I had to move back in with my parents two weeks ago because i'm struggling to find a job. i HATE that I can't go to the grocery store and cook anymore. It's weird, but it feels like such a lack of independence to not have any control over what you eat or when you eat. I was used to making the meals I liked whenever I was hungry..now i'm waiting around for "dinner time" and the food is usually not what i'm craving. I can't wait to find a job so i can get my own place again and regain that sense of agency.
At 21 I was working a full time job and had bills, but no children yet. But I definitely knew what it was like to have responsibility. Some people are just going to be that way, no matter what. Personally I would rather have the love of my life, my baby and my happiness over what Gucci or Prada could give me. It is materialistic, and I love fashion just as much as the next person, but yes indeed there is more to life than a label!
I wanted to add that I think people are being a little harsh to the friend here. She obviously has a job, as the OP said and its working with kids, you can't be an irresponsible person and work in a daycare, you'd get fired real quick, and she's working toward her education, she just doesn't want to be married with children yet. I don't think that makes her irresponsible at all, I just think she's at a different place in her life. Now if the OP was saying she failed out of school can't hold a job and has resorted to living with her parents ok, thats a different story, but thats not the case at all!
I agree with June42011...21 is still pretty young so it's understandable that she wouldn't necessarily want to be married with kids. I was a little more financially independent at 21 than she is, but nothing wrong with that. I paid cell phone & gas since I was 16, then I graduated at 21 and had to pay car insurance, clothes, entertainment. I lived at home for 10 months to save up before I moved out on my own, so I paid everything on my own by the time I was 22. In the next couple years I'm sure she'll have much more responsibility. I think it's nice that her parents would pay for her while she's in college (one less thing to worry about). I think the only issue is that she might have made the OP feel bad, or that the way she was saying things sounded like she was being critical.
Okay this girl is way way spoiled! I had to buy my own groceries and pay my own bills starting at 18!
@Kericita; Believe it or not I totally agree with you. Its not that shes irresponsible its just that when she was talking to me she talked down to me. She talked to me like I was an alien. Or a poor little creature who has such a miserable life. I totally agree that once high school is over we all go in different directions and just like she looks at my life differently, I look at hers differently. But I would NEVER talk down to someone. I always treat everyone like my equal.
This is just something I'm not sure if she will ever grow out of.....Even when all of her other friends catch up to me.
I am also a 40 year old trapped in a 24 year old body and have been like that even in college. You are not alone and kudos to you for being so responsible and providing a wonderful life for your family.
Um I've lived on my own since I was 19 - paying bills, doing laundry, and *gasp* cleaning.I've got a lot of friends who are like this though - few people realize how much it costs to buy food and basic needs each month because they're so used to someone doing it for them.
She'll have a rude awakening one day when she has to buy it herself!
I don't know if there is anything wrong with her sentiment but it seems like the way she is saying it is what's rubbing you the wrong way. I was living out of my parents' home (in college apartments) at 21 but I really didn't have that many responsibilities other than school at that time. I'm sure I couldn't have imagined being married and taking care of a household and child at that time. It seems more rude that she would be sitting across from you making it sound like her life is so much better/easier when it is just different.
I've definitely known girls like this. Especially (and I'm not trying to be mean to ANY sorority girls) some of the girls who live in the sorority houses around here. I will see them in the grocery store and they completely clueless and saying they've never been grocery shopping in their life - and they're 23/24 years old!
I know that's not true of a lot of sorority girls, so I'm not trying to stereotype, just saying that in my town that seems to be a bit of a trend. It always surprises me because I've been grocery shopping and cooking for myself ever since I moved out at 19!
We had a lady who cooked for us at our sorority so all the basics were supplied. And it was a RUSH going grocery shopping! I felt like I needed everything! I used to go to the store for ingredients to make a cake or something--but I'd never done full on grocery shopping. But seriously, it's not that hard--you go in, you buy food, you give the lady at the counter money....how is it rocket science?
Personally from the people I know, it's more common for people to be "taken care of" until they are 20-ish (in college at least) and be financially supported by a parent, plus live in a sorority or fraternity (all the food is already there, somebody comes and cooks/cleans for you) than the other side you guys are talking about: having an apartment, living on your own, being married and/or having kids. It would've been a "foreign" concept to me, but at the same time, when you are 21, you should have the TACT to not treat somebody who is doing their life differently so rudely and in such awe
the fact that she WORKS in a daycare and yet acted this way totally baffles me!
@ejs - Yeah, there is always food supplied at the sorority houses here, which totally makes sense. I guess it just surprises me that anyone at this age could still be completely confused about how to grocery shop... I mean, it's a pretty simple concept!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 53 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| stardustintheeyes | 36 |
| MrsPom | 36 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| TheJeanses2012 | 4 |
| ladyartichoke | 2 |
| MissBoPeep | 1 |
| becauseilovehim | 1 |
| burris4 | 1 |
| Mrs. Chai | 1 |
| AB Bride | 1 |
| bluewolverine | 1 |
| Mrs. Mustang | 1 |
| MrsPom | 1 |
First of all I want to say I'm 21, a mom to a baby boy and a new wife. I'm lovin life right now! I've lived with my now hubby for about 2 years now and yes, going to school, working and raising a baby isnt the easiest but its just a part of my everyday life and honestly its wonderful.
I went out to lunch the other day with a girl I've known litterally my whole life. Shes always had a very privledged life where as I had a great childhood and loving parents but my family just isn't as well off as hers. I kinda felt like our convo was an "lets constantly talk about how aweful Kares life must be". It all started with "I cant believe your married! I could never be married right now. OMG I just couldnt EVER imagine!" then on too..."Omg I cant believe you have a BABY! I love kids but I have GOT to send them home! And your baby LIVES with you!" and on too...."Omg you have to get GROCERIES????? So that means you have to cook AND clean??? I couldnt imagine doing that right now!" ..then on to "You have to pay bills too! Omg SOOO much responsibility!" and on and on......
Ok this girl is my age, a college student but still lives at home. I dont think shes ever had a boyfriend but she has all the latest Gucci bags, Prada shoes, and everything else that comes with. Dont get me wrong I LOVE fashion...but theres more to life too.
I was just wondering am I a 21 year old living like a 40 year old? Or the last time I checked did most college students at least have SOME responsibility?!?!?
I would LOVE anyone to reply to this but college students are MORE then welcome!!!! Thanks guys!