(Closed) The responsibilities of living on your own….

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think she’d be like this whether or not her family was well off.. While I was a lot more carefree than you at 21 (no BF, just a part time job, going to school, etc) I wasn’t a clueless girl.  I did all the bills for my 3 other roommates, got the furniture, paid my tuition, etc.

Post # 4
Member
946 posts
Busy bee

I was in front of two girls in line at Moes today who are probably close to my age (22) and they were annoying the crap out of me saying stuff like that! 

i.e. “My mom pisses me off so much!  She takes half my paycheck away and puts it in a savings account for me.  I only have $400 a week to spend on food and clothes.” 

Cry me a freakin’ river and grow up.  I wonder what happens to these girls when they get some responsibilities.

Post # 5
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow . . . just wow. When I was 21, I got groceries, cleaned, did laundry, was looking for a job, graduated college, found an apartment and paid (most of) my bills. I think real life is going to be difficult for your friend.

Post # 5
Member
5671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I found this some of my friends who always lived at home even when they went to college. I went to college but I had my own apartment and even lived abroad. I had to work, pay bills, cook, clean etc. I was sheltered in some ways as I still received financial assitance, but I did have reponsibilities. My MOH is exactly like this at 24 and while we are best friends there are some things we just don’t see eye to eye on. We just have different priorities but it actually works for us because we keep each other grounded.

Post # 6
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Wow that’s crazy.

I just moved out with FH into our first place and I was still in college for the first month of living here. and I’m only 20 – I’m still looking for a job and the most I splurge on is something for the wedding and we only go out to eat once every paycheck to save money but so we still get to go out together, and we usually only do cheap places.

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wasn’t on my own at 21. I was still in college. I had like, 3 bills a month, no big deal. A cheap apartment with a friend. But i also knew how to cook and clean and do my own laundry. I was financially supported in college but I would NEVER act so strangely to a good friend of mine! And i didn’t have any 21-year-old friends married with babies, so I can see how your situation is different to her, but I’d never be all OMG weirdo about it. How awkward!

She lives at home. I’m not surprised she doesn’t do her laundry or cook her own meals, frankly.

The real world will give her a good smack on the fanny =]. I say this as a previously sheltered girl. The transition wasn’t quite as extreme as everyone made it sound like it would be. Hopefully she’ll be ok. =]

Post # 8
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t know how it is in MI (I’m from the east coast), but you do have a lot of responsibility for someone your age… kid, husband, school, work. 

When I was in my early twenties I was going to college/grad school and working part-time to pay rent and other living expenses.  But I was partying it up, traveling when I could, and being totally irresponsible in a lot of other ways.  At that point, I couldn’t have imagined having kids or getting married. 

But, I probably wouldn’t have said that to a friend who was married with a kid… so I don’t know what your friend was trying to get out of voicing those comments.  Maybe she feels insecure about something in her own life?

And yeah, at 21 she needs to learn how to be independent of her parents… she’ll have a tough time.

Post # 9
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

WOW – I was on my own at 21 paying for school and my apartment and all the bills. I think it is a part of growing up. However, I was a lot more carefree then you. Spending all my extra cash on bar clothes and nights out on the town.

I can see how the girl has trouble putting herself in your shoes with the carefree lifestyle she has.

However, it seems like this girl may never grow up. In that daddy will pay her bills for her and buy her a house etc.

Post # 10
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Well, I’m not exactly college age any more (28), but I can tell you when I was in college, I was NOTHING like your friend.  As soon as I started college, I was pretty much on my own and paid my own way.  I was a total nerd in college and had my nose pretty much buried in a book (I had a GPA to keep high in order to keep my scholarships) and honestly the one thing I regret from college was not having more of a social life.  I graduated from school early and also worked my way through, so needless to say, I was pretty dedicated.  I remember one time I “splurged” on a $10 shirt from Wal Mart.  Oh how I wish I could go back to being that loyal to a budget….sigh…

Post # 11
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I can see where she’s coming from a little. My best friend got married STRAIGHT out of high school and she had a baby soon after. I was in college and having a blast! I lived in my own apartment out of state, I paid for everthing, worked, bought groceries. I had responsibilities but they were different than my friends. When I went to visit her it was like the twilight zone. We were the same age but it didn’t feel that way at all. It’s really hard to imagine SUCH a different life than your own. I was 21 years old talking about how I got wasted at a bar and surviving off ramen noodles and chips, she was feeding her little baby and waiting for her hubby to come home so they could eat the pot roast she made, it was just DIFFERENT. So even though I had responsibilities in college I didn’t have other people, especially an infant depending on me which is where I think the shock factor comes from. Just my opinion on the matter! 

Post # 14
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I just hope she learns.  Some people’s parents are very generous but ultimately it hurts their children when they aren’t around.

Post # 15
Member
3710 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I got pregnant with my daughter while still in college full-time. I gave birth to her about 3 months before my 22nd birthday. She will be 13 next month and I can honestly say I DID miss out on a lot being a full-time student, a mother, and working to pay the bills. She was my only priority for a LONG time and while I don’t regret it, I know that I missed out on things because I was busy being a mom. However….for the past 5 or 6 years I have been getting out more and doing more travelling and things like that b/c she is old enough now that I feel comfortable having my mom come up and stay with her while I take a trip every now and then. So yes…you will seem more like an older adult for a while but on the bright side….you will have your kids out of the house an independent and will still be young and spry enough to experience some of those things you are missing out on now =)

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