- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
She's coming.
I don't know why, but recently I began to feel a glimmer of hope that Mrs. Crazy would decline our invitation. No such luck. Doesn't she know that I hate her, and don't want her there? Why can't she stumble upon weddingbee.com, read my posts, realize they're about her, and be so offended at my blatent rudeness that she refuses to come? That would be ideal.
My heart sank when I saw she reserved a hotel room. I typically try to always maintain myself gracefully, but I don't know that I can in this instance. I think I will completely ignore her. Or say "oh. I'm so surpised you made the trip" and walk away.
For those of you who are just joining the story:
Mrs. Crazy is a stranger who lives on the other side of the country from me. FI and her son were childhood friends. As a young teen, her son died of a drug overdose. (ten years ago) FI and Mrs. Crazy fell out of touch when the Crazies packed up and moved across country. I've been with FI for 6 years and have never heard of the Crazies. Last Fall, Mrs. Crazy finds FI on facebook, sees his status says "engaged" and sends him a facebook message. It said: " Hi Son, ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?? Where is our invitation? We miss you. We would love to fly you out to _______ so we can see you. Our daughter, little Miss. Crazy, would love to take you snowboarding. She's still single by the way ;) Love, Mom"
Vomit, vomit, vomit!
FI says to me, "VM, I know that email was rude....but I feel like I owe it to my dead friend to invite his parents to the weddng...."
vomit more!
And now, Mrs. Crazy is coming to my wedding.
DAMMIT!!!!!!!!
**disclaimer: we all agree that the death of a child is tragic, and horrific, and something you never "get over". She's grieving, that's not the point of my frustration. Recognizing that he's getting married, demanding an invitation, and then trying to set him up with your daughter is what has me fuming.
I think the only thing I can really add to this is...
Vomit!
That sucks...plain and simple. Don't go out of your way to be nice, but don't go out of your way to be mean (even though every part of your being wants to!). There will be enough other people at the wedding that can distract you and allow you to ignore her with some dignity. Good luck!
I agree. At the wedding, there will be so many people that you won't see her too much since you'll spread your time with everyone. Try not to think about it too much. I missed your original thread-I can't believe she wanted to set him up with her daughter after knowing you two were getting married. That's crazy alright!!!!
Oh wow...what a really werid and sticky situation.
The only thing i can say is that you dont know her so she will (hopefully) be a flower on the wall at the wedding and you wont even remember that she is there :)
@Baileyh: I hoped the same thing. But apparently Mrs. Crazy is a bit of a wine-o. Awesome.
Ugh! Just stay away!!! Hopefully she doesn't sniff you out and demand attention! What a yucky situation!! Good luck!
First of all, I adore you. Seriously, you always make me laugh, and I always read your posts because of it.
This woman sounds like a nutter, and like she has no "inside voice". I can't imagine what it's like to lose a son, especially at such a young age. I also can't imagine addressing someone you haven't seen in years as both "son" and then offering up my daughter to said fake "son". Creepy. Vomit. Ugh.
((hugs)) for you, my dear. This is a tough one.
Oh NO VM! I've been following your posts on the Crazies and I'm so sorry to hear she's coming. You said that you only invited Mr. & Mrs. Crazy, right? There's no chance that her daughter is coming...right?? Ugh...I feel terrible for you. I give you permission to be as rude as you want to be to her on your wedding day. Ick, and vomit.
@Ms. MoxieMonkey: Well thank you for the love. I need that right now. Because I am sitting here slowly morphing into a monster. This isn't what weddings are about. I shouldn't be so angry that someone is coming. I hate how I've let this bother me so much.
But she's such a crazy, thoughtless, slimy, rude, tactless, asshole!
Don't stress! There were quite a few people that I REALLY did not want at my wedding, but when the day came, I didn't even notice they were there. Seriously. And this was with a guest list of only 100. So just plan on ignoring her and hopefully it will be like she is not even there at all!
P.S. I have read your other posts, and I can't help but feel sorry for her just a tiny bit. This is probably the closest thing she will ever experience to her own son getting married, so as long as she doesn't make a scene on your day, hopefully she will just use the experience as part of the mourning process and move on.
@2PeasinaPod: Thank you, peas! Their hotel reservation says "2" adults. I think we made it very clear that daughter isn't invited. If daughter shows up, I will just lose it. :(
Hm. It honestly seems like maybe she was just joking around about "where's my invitation?" but you never know! Either way, the attempt to set up your VERY ENGAGED FI with her daughter is NUTS, and would have me absolutley fuming. If it's any consolation, she will likely end up embarassing herself and hopefully won't bring anyone down with her...
Weird...you definitely have reason to be fuming! I would be too. For one, I will NEVER understand why some people think it is completely acceptable to invite yourself to any type of event, especially a wedding. How does she know you're not having an intimate 20-person wedding in Bali? Why do people just assume? Sorry...got off track there because I experienced something similar, also involving a crazy person.
I suppose if your FH is adamant about it, you have to invite her. Try to steer clear of her so you can just forget she's there and enjoy yourself!
sucks that she's coming, but breathe knowing that her presence will be a speckle in an otherwise glorious day for you and your FI!
yes, i am sympathetic to the death of her lost child, but where is her etiquette/respect?! RIDIC
Wow! I am angry for you.... I would be totally and completely pissed if someone tried to set up my FH right before our wedding!! Seriously! Who does that! It is just so odd and rude.
@TheRen: Now that's a friend! Thanks for the offer. I'm making it clear to the DJ that Mrs. Crazy is not allowed to have the microphone under any circumstances. No toast or well wishes from her. I am also alerting the bartenders to cut her off early, if need be. I feel for her....who wants to go to a wedding where you're on the "bridesmaid watch list"?
OMG I can't believe that she's coming. Can't she get a hint? Jesus! Big hugs VM! And yes, VOMIT! Ugh.
@VirginiaMarie: LMAO at the "bridesmaid watch list" NICE. but im hoping and praying for you that you dont notice shes there...
I seriously can't believe that they are coming. Thank god that the daughter will not be there. I think that you have taken all the necessary procautions with her. What table will you be putting the crazies? That I think would be the hardest.
@Ms. Caniche: a table ar, far away from me and those I love!
Side note: Oh boy, FI is very angry with me today. Says I am too mean to the Crazies.
Oh nooooooooo! I was really rooting for you that The Crazies wouldn't end up coming. That sucks. As for your FI being mad, maybe just vent to us and your girlfriends and don't mention it to him any further. I'm sure he is well aware you're not happy but there's really nothing anyone can do. Those peeps are not worth fighting with him over.
@VirginiaMarie: Tell him that when she stops trying to insinuate that her daughter is still available to date YOUR fiance, you'll stop being so mean to her. Is it sad that she lost her son at such a young age, yes...it is very much so. But that doesn't mean she can replace him with your FI!
I also volunteer to open up a can of whoop-*ss on her should you need it...or should the daughter happen to "stop by..."
Ohhh and a wine-o too boot...alas....I feel for you girl.
I would just put her on BM watch list...i have some peeps on that list...well just one rotten clingly child that somehow got into my "no children" allowed list...:( But its fair!! have the BM kick her sorry butt out of the reception if she becomes a little too crazy....:)
Ohh NOOOOOOOOOO.....I've been following your Crazies post from the beginning and I was beginning to think she fell off the face of the invite list...no such like eh? I am so sorry. And, now I have to say, I hope you'll definitely update us on any "Crazies" stories from the wedding. I'm sure you'll be so blissfully happy that hopefully the crazy lady won't get to you :)
Yikes! I am so sorry. I'd be fuming, too. Good call on alerting the DJ and bartenders. You might want to station a large, intimidating looking guy at the door to block her should the daughter attempt to attend, too. I'm not kidding. I have friends who will be watching the entrance to my venue to block a certain unruly 4 year old I fear may show up uninvited. Her parents will NOT be allowed in if they bring her.
So sorry. Maybe, and I haven't read your other posts, she's joking? However, it's really not something to joke about. One of my family members always says the most inappropriate things and thinks it funny, which is why I thought that.
Example: (at bowling alley) person says "what did you get?" me "a spare" person "well, it looks like you're getting a spare around there (pointing to stomach)." me "well, I did just give birth and that's what happens." (important side note - my baby died and this person said this and throught it funny)
@TheFutureMcBride: OMG! That is a horrible thing to say! I'm so sorry...not only for your loss, but for your family members lack of tact!
@TheFutureMcBride: Um, I diddo everything Peas said. That is horrific. I'm so sorry
I'm sorry but you had me laughing throughout your entire post. "The Crazies" cracks me up...especially since I recently saw that movie and all I could think about was that while I was reading your post! Seriously, she sounds like a whack job but you have such a great outlook on it and seem to be finding the humor in the situation.
I guess, just be happy that she isn't bringing her "still single" daughter to the wedding to try to fix her up with your hubby or any of his friends!!
@VirginiaMarie - Just curious, how did you manage to uninvite the daughter? That to me is an achievement right there, managing a delicate situation. I'm just wondering if in that process the mom realized that you're harboring not so warm and fuzzy feelings toward them?
It's too bad her invitation never got "accidentally" lost in the mail!
@meliss: Oh it was tricky girl! Eventually, I worked myself into such a pissed off frenzy that I sent her an email. It read something like this:
Mrs. Crazy,
FMIL informed me that you and your family have shown some interest in attending my marriage to FI. I know this pleased FMIL. Unfortinuately, our venue is just not large enough to permit all of our friends and family. Therefore, we will be extending an invitation to just you and Mr. Crazy.
Again, I am certain that FMIL is looking forward to seeing you this summer.
Best,
VM
Good afternoon everyone. I am an event planner in the Los Angeles area. I read this and thought I might be able to offer some advice. We have experienced these types of issues in the past. On a good note, hopefully she will behave herself and take the high road and be a polite, well behaved guest. I understand your frustration and concern though. One thing we have done that works is to ask a trusted friend or family member to be your interceptor, and basically keep an eye on her. If she starts to really bother you or cause any type of a scene, this person could take her outside for some fresh air or some other location away from the reception, and perhaps listen to some "reason". Just a thought! I actually have done this before! And it did work. It certainly isn't an assignment for a bridesmaid or someone else really involved in the wedding as they need to enjoy themselves. And it isn't an assignment for the faint of heart! She would probably like a "friend" to listen to her, as she obviously is still dealing with some things! Good luck!
Wow VM, that alot of attempts to sway your FI. The part that would kick me is that she's soooooo bummmmed he's getting married. Then why should she get an invite (no that that was your choice)? And moreover, if she's soooo bummmed, why would she want to come?
Uggg, I don't know her. I would think she wouldn't do anything to make a scene at the wedding. But I could see her making a snippy comment to you or something. Perhaps trying to have too many dances with FI, or cutting in, etc.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 53 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| stardustintheeyes | 36 |
| MrsPom | 36 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MerryWidow | 6 |
| Jade33 | 6 |
| Sunfire | 6 |
| WillyNilly | 6 |
| cardnasac | 5 |
| mags2233 | 4 |
| ananombee | 4 |
| 2PeasinaPod | 3 |
| mightywombat | 3 |
| bookworm88 | 3 |
