Post # 1
SOOO I am having a difficult time with this decision , whether or not to invite the future Sister in law. She does not care for me because she still likes his ex girlfreinds and feels that I am the reason they arent together. She does not see how happy him or his children are after our almost 3 years together. She instead insist on eggin on the ex to cause as much headache for us as possible. SO My fiancee has told her that she is not a part of our lives if she choses to do this.
The problem is I LOVE his mom and I see how much this bothers her, and I dont want to be the bad guy. BUT I did try to send her a messaage that told her I wanted to resolve whatever diffrences. She told me really that she didnt wanna work it out with me and wants to work it out with him and he is not sure he even wants to becasue she is looking for an apology and he dosent feel he needs to be “sorry ” .
I just wanna be the bad guy so years down the road it all falls on me .
Post # 3
Yes. You need to invite her. Be the bigger person, be kind, and be drama free no matter what she does. If you do not invite her, YOU will look like the bad person. Remember, you can not control how others behave but you CAN control how you react to it. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 4
@FutureMs1808: Honestly I have a VERY similar problem with my Future Sister-In-Law… we are debating right now on wether to invite her or not. Think about it this way… Will she come if you invite her? If she won’t than do invite her because than you are the good person. If she would come you could take your chances and have her escorted off the property if she stirs anything up.
That was our choice is to let her come… even though she says she won’t… but she still have the invite and I can’t come back on me. If she comes and starts anything she has to leave per my Fiance.
Post # 5
Invite her. Then it’s on her to decide whether or not to come. Let her have her issues with you… ignore it and try to be the bigger person 🙂
Post # 6
Invite her and let it be. If she chooses to come, then she will either play nice, or look like a crazy person. I think you should be the bigger person and let things play out as they will.
I had this issue with my sister (she was causing all sorts of problems with me, and creating so much stress in my life), and telling certain people she wasn’t going to attend (as if making a stance on her distaste in my choice) – but, I knew if I didn’t invite her, it would be making a clear statement and while that action was justified (in my mind) it woudln’t have been the right thing to do. So, I sent her an invite and she came – and you would have NEVER known that anything was wrong. She put on a smile and I cracked up because anyone not familiar with the situation would have thought she was a supportive family member.
You don’t have to ever be close with her in the future – you just need to be polite and civil. And, part of that is starting a foundation of that now – in inviting her.
Best of luck to you! I hope it works out better than you feel it may!
Post # 7
@oracle: I second this. Not inviting is SO tempting…. but she’s really right. Right now you don’t need extra stress or drama. I’d invite her and then anything anyone says to or about me is pretty much null. You are being the classy lady, if she does or says anything she’ll only make herself look bad.
Post # 8
I think you need to invite her. It will cause more trouble then what it is worth. What are the chances that she will make a scene at the wedding? And if she does she will look like a fool. If she wants to fix things with her brother, maybe your Fiance could ask her to be supportive on that day if she chooses to come when they are talking things out.
Post # 9
I have to agree, you do have to invite her and be the bigger person. Her actions will reflect badly on her, not you. I know it sucks though…