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IMO The ring is just a symbol, it doesnt have to be expensive to be meaningful, I plan to not spend too much on our rings. Something simple, elegant and timeless. Besides most people cant tell the difference between a wedding band that costs 500 and a wedding band that costs 5000, unless its ultra blinged out
@Lysistrata:The engagement ring I want is about 15k, that's the best deal I could find for the quality I liked. I am in love with a 2 carat princess solitare. My SO has lots of friends and family and he wants me to plan a nice weddding, I don't really care about a big wedding. We have decided on a destination wedding for 20k. Hopefully, he can get the ring cheaper, I am able to pull off a beautiful wedding for 20k and both parties can be happy. We want to be somewhat conserative and not spend too lavishly on either. Compromise.
Ring, for sure.
Our three rings combined are more than double our wedding budget. But for us, it was the fact that we'll wear our rings every day for the rest of our lives. When we're 80, we won't remember what we ate at our wedding but we will have our beautiful rings that are a symbol of our amazing relationship and beautiful marriage!
I didn't want to spend a lot on either. My e-ring was a family diamond, so it's free. Best price ever. And I wanted a plain wedding band b/c it's Jewish tradition, and more me.
But I didn't take the money I saved and put it towards the wedding. Like you said, the wedding is only a day, and while it's a very special, important day, I don't need to spend all my savings on it.
I guess I'd rather put the money towards a house.
While the wedding day is a wonderful memory to have, I'm glad ours was small and didn't cost an exorbitant amount of money. We have wonderful photographs and we had a fabulous time.
Our rings were nice, but basic, and I never wear my 'originals' any more. My tastes in my 20's were more simple, and I didn't want a diamond anything. We got thin gold matching wedding bands, and the etching on them has long worn away....so they sit in my jewelry box. We've since bought each other new rings (several times!), and now I have the diamonds I never wanted before. :)
I guess I'd say that people should choose to spend their money where it makes the most sense to them to spend it, with whatever they feel is more important to them.
Both our dream wedding bands are pretty expensive rings. My SO originally thought he would want something cheap, but when we started looking he changed his mind fast lol.
For me, my wedding band isn't super important, I'd be happy with just a plain band, but it is really important to my SO. He feels about it much like I did my e-ring. He's going to be wearing it for the rest of his life, it's pretty much the only jewelry he'll ever wear, he really wants to love it. (I realize that I will be wearing my wedding band for the rest of my life too, but I'm already getting a very nice e-ring, so a simple wedding band would work for me still).
We're willing to cut a bit out of the wedding so that we can have the rings we really want.
We count the cost of my engagement ring separately from our wedding costs, since it was purchased solely by my DH, while both our parents are contributing to our wedding. As for our wedding bands, we went with a more expensive option for mine, but like you said, it's something I'll have forever so I wanted to get something that I loved, vs. something that was just okay. However, at the same time, I don't know if I would sacrifice something like flowers or cut down on photography so we could afford a nicer wedding band...maybe go without favors, yes.
We didn't put much money into either. My engagement ring was the family stone. He had it reset in platinum. He sold the gold from the original ring and wedding band and was able to upgrade to platinum with little or no additional cost. We were 19 and pregnant when we got engaged and I was very fortunate to even get a ring, much less the family stone!
Our wedding came 8 years and 3 kids down the road. We did a quickie JoP ceremony. Our reception was dinner for our guests (our 3 kids, our parents, his sister, my brother and my brother's 2 kids) at our favourite restaurant. Not much as far as traditional receptions go, eh?
I guess if you boiled it down, our wedding bands were the majority of the cost of that day. But, it's not like we did that intentionally. It's just the way it worked out since we didn't have a huge wedding or reception.
We didn't factor the cost of the rings into the wedding (which we paid for ourselves). Otherwise, that'd have been another 20K we could've spent on the ring, lol. Not really feasible and I'd feel sort of selfish taking all that money for a ring that, while i wear it every day, is taking away from a joint celebration. If we were on a tighter budget, i could see rings factoring into the type of wedding we had a little more, though. It's not like jewelry is cheap
@Soladylike: Sorry but a 15k ring and a 20k wedding is NOT somewhat conservative. I know I will get in trouble for this post but I just can't believe the skewed views of some people.
It's funny, we spent a decent amount of our budget on our rings (his parents paid for the entire reception) because I thought "I'm going to be wearing this ring forever and I want it to be amazing" and it is! But honestly, while it's beautiful, what matters to me most is my marriage and the happy memories I have of our wedding day and honeymoon. I still look at my ring and smile, but it's not because it's beautiful, but because it means I'm married to the love of my life. I'd wear a plain band on my hand with pride if my DH bought it for me. That doesn't mean I don't love things all diamond and sparkly! But it does mean that I realized that I was putting too much importance on the money spent and the sparkliness of the ring and not enough on what was important...the marriage. I feel like it was so easy to get all caught up in all the material things of the wedding but the things I remember most from that day were: the kind words of our families and friends, the love we felt, and the heartfelt ceremony where we promised to love each other for the rest of our lives. Everything else pales in comparison.
Sorry that turned into a novel. It didn't end up where I planned when I started this post.
The actual wedding is much more important to us than the rings. Sure, we'll wear the rings for the rest of our lives but we can always upgrade those. You can't upgrade your wedding 10 years down the road...
I have always wanted a simple wedding incorporating the beach, but I have also wanted a really nice e-ring. Everyone has different views, and no one is right or wrong, but I personally didn't want to go the "upgrade later" route because I want to wear the ring my husband proposed to me with for my whole life. I wouldn't want to get rid of it later and trade in the sentimental value for a bigger diamond. I LOVE my e-ring, it's okay with me to have a smaller, less expensive wedding in order to know I get to wear this amazing ring forever. I also realized that a smaller wedding is a lot more intimate, especially because I don't have a huge family. So it all worked out. It's tough to be able to do that, though, if you have a really large family. I would really be in a pickle then;)
@UpstateCait:The actual wedding is much more important to us than the rings. Sure, we'll wear the rings for the rest of our lives but we can always upgrade those. You can't upgrade your wedding 10 years down the road...
I couldn't agree more. My band was the nicest but most affordable one I could find. It was a bit over 500$ which is not bad for a diamond band. Mr.Cosmo is looking for a comfort fit hammered flat fisnish ring...he's picky :p His won't be more than a couple hundred.
I'm just thrilled to marry the man, the rings are pretty but not a priority.
@norab2684: Conserative is relative. Its conservative for us and our lifestyle based on our income. I know we are not the norm, I am very aware of that.
What I can't understand are folks with very expensive, designer wedding gowns who try to find the rings as cheaply as possible. The dress is for one day- the rings are for the rest of your life (or until you upgrade).
@cosmocity: "I'm just thrilled to marry the man, the rings are pretty but not a priority."
I love that.
My mom-in-law resized a family e-ring and matching wedding band for me. They are pretty and very simple. I didn't see them before she gave them to me and even though they might not be what I would have chosen for myself, I wouldn't change them for the world. Even the biggest stone would never hold the same meaning. By giving me those rings,she really accepted me as part of the family, and that's all that matters!
Can't you have both? I don't think a nice ring has to cost an arm & a leg. A fancy ring doesn't represent love any more or less than a simple one. Plus you can always upgrade rings later (I'm adding another band down the line..well, I hope to! I wouldn't upgrade & get rid of our rings -the original rings from our wedding are too special.) You don't get to "upgrade" your wedding later -no do-overs. We had a pretty ridiculous wedding, but we wanted things a certain way (we had been together for almost 9 yrs when we married, and we are a *little* older), and we wanted a bigger guest list. I still think it's PERFECTLY fine to have a small wedding. We got A LOT of bang for our buck with our rings -we paid to have them sized & cleaned...and that's it. They belonged to my late parents and are super sentimental. Do post pics of these rings! And your wedding. I am sure both are/will be beautiful!
I come up at this from the opposite side. We didn't want an expensive ring because I don't really like jewelry and don't want something hugely valuable sitting on my finger or in our apartment, which doesn't have a safe or anything. We also did not want to buy a diamond, so we did something much less expensive and unconventional. I also do not intend to wear my engagement ring daily when we get married. It's gorgeous and I love it, but I am kind of excited to have a plain band flush to my finger - less to worry about breaking or losing.
When it comes to budget decisions, I will almost always choose to spend money on the thing that can be experienced over the thing that lasts. A trip over jewelry, a nice meal over a new outfit, etc. To me, it's not about something lasting, it's about something taking up space and just becoming more stuff. Since we aren't looking to buy a house or apartment for 10+ years and are in a pretty good financial position, we can afford to have a more expensive wedding and honeymoon.
I think we struck a balance with our rings AND our wedding. We spent what we were comfortable with on both to leave us enough money to start our lives together.
@SapphireSun: I agree with this. I love our rings and what our wedding is shaping out to be. I don't feel like I sacrificed one over the other and I am happy with the way we compromised on spending for both the wedding and the rings.
@Entangled: I agree with you 100% and it's so nice to hear from someone with the same viewpoint! I also wanted a plain ring, in my case with no stone, but still a unique design. I love it! I also value spending money on a great experience over an object any day.
I cut corners on a lot of things for my wedding, but did not cut corners with the rings, for exactly the reasons the OP mentions. I wear my rings every day, but now the wedding day is just a memory!
The cost of my ering and our wedding budget is about the same. But we are going to get the weddng bands we want and if anything cut back on the wedding bc rings last longer than the wedding day
I'm with you. I look at this the same way. I'd rather spend the money on something that I am going to wear everyday vs. spending a crazy ton of money on a party that lasts one day. I think that my wedding will be much smaller because of this decision though.
I totally see the opposite side of this discussion, but for me, I'm going to remember my wedding with love regardless of how much money is spent, but I might not love my rings regardless of how much is spent (they'd still be special even if they were very inexpensive but in order for me to really love them, I think it's going to cost a bit of $$$...ugh that sounds so materialistic, but I really want the symbol of my relationship to look as beautiful as the relationship feels).
I completely agree with the OP. The ring will last a lifetime, the wedding only one day. I love looking at my ring everyday. Luckily, my parents paid for our wedding, but even if they hadn't, I still would have put more into the ring.
We're cutting corners with both for now. Our income is pretty crappy, and the ring that I'm getting isn't the ring that I fell in love with first. With the wedding, we don't have a lot of supportive family members or friends, so we don't have to spend a lot of money on the that.
Our rings shouldn't cost over $900 for all three.
I think my wedding costs should come out at about $1000-$1200
I'm pretty excited about both though. The wedding is what I'm looking forward to the most though.
Interesting -- I'm much more willing to spend money on wedding/reception-related things than on jewelry, although I don't look at as a money that could have been spent on one thing or another; I think I value the shared experience with family and friends more than the jewelry. My taste in rings also happens to be relatively inexpensive. (When we picked out my engagement ring, my guy almost got me a 2nd ring gift becuase the one we chose was about half the price he'd expected to spend!) I'm not sure how differently I'd feel if I happened to love the super pricey rings.
I guess everyone has their own opinions. I personally think the ring is a symbol only and you only get to do your wedding once in your life. But I can see it from you perspective too. I don't think either way is wrong or right. I personally think you should spend what you can afford on each. It only makes me upset when people take out loans to get married. But again, to each her own.
@jholler25: Everyone has different views, and no one is right or wrong, but I personally didn't want to go the "upgrade later" route because I want to wear the ring my husband proposed to me with for my whole life.
Bingo. All the power in the world to the people who want to upgrade, but I don't see the point. An engagement ring is what you get when you get engaged, not later because the fisrt one you got wasn't good enough. Even if my man didn't get me my dream ring I would never ungrade. I find it almost insulting to him.
The ring was paid for by my husband and the wedding was paid for by our parents so cost of ring had no bearing on cost of wedding.
I really was more interested in putting my money into the rings instead of the wedding. We spent 15k on my ering, and I'm hoping to keep the wedding to 15k. I don't regret my ering at all, but I wish I could make the wedding cheaper.
What I don't understand is how some brides can get 5k dresses and only have erings that cost $1500!! A ring that I wear every day is better than a dress!
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I hear people say they got an engagement ring/wedding band that may not have been exactly what they wanted, in order to save money for the wedding. This is something that confuses me, because your wedding lasts one day, but your ring is something you will hopefully wear for the rest of your life. I'm kind of going the opposite route - my man and I got each other super fancy rings, and we're planning on having a smaller wedding at a single location in order to save money on that front. Also, I'm pretty sure the cost of the average wedding far exceeds the cost of the average e-ring.
So ladies, are you putting that extra money into your ring(s) or your wedding day, and why?