(Closed) The ring vs. the wedding

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

IMO The ring is just a symbol, it doesnt have to be expensive to be meaningful, I plan to not spend too much on our rings. Something simple, elegant and timeless.  Besides most people cant tell the difference between a wedding band that costs 500 and a wedding band that costs 5000, unless its ultra blinged out

Post # 4
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@Lysistrata:The engagement ring I want is about 15k, that’s the best deal I could find for the quality I liked. I am in love with a 2 carat princess solitare. My SO has lots of friends and family and he wants me to plan a nice weddding, I don’t really care about a big wedding. We have decided on a destination wedding for 20k. Hopefully, he can get the ring cheaper, I am able to pull off a beautiful wedding for 20k and both parties can be happy. We want to be somewhat conserative and not spend too lavishly on either. Compromise.

Post # 5
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ring, for sure.

Our three rings combined are more than double our wedding budget. But for us, it was the fact that we’ll wear our rings every day for the rest of our lives. When we’re 80, we won’t remember what we ate at our wedding but we will have our beautiful rings that are a symbol of our amazing relationship and beautiful marriage! 

Post # 6
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I didn’t want to spend a lot on either. My e-ring was a family diamond, so it’s free. Best price ever. And I wanted a plain wedding band b/c it’s Jewish tradition, and more me.

But I didn’t take the money I saved and put it towards the wedding. Like you said, the wedding is only a day, and while it’s a very special, important day, I don’t need to spend all my savings on it.

I guess I’d rather put the money towards a house.

Post # 7
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

While the wedding day is a wonderful memory to have, I’m glad ours was small and didn’t cost an exorbitant amount of money. We  have wonderful photographs and we had a fabulous time.

 Our rings were nice, but basic, and I never wear my ‘originals’ any more. My tastes in my 20’s were more simple, and I didn’t want a diamond anything. We got thin gold matching wedding bands, and the etching on them has long worn away….so they sit in my jewelry box. We’ve since bought each other new rings (several times!), and now I have the diamonds I never wanted before. 🙂

I guess I’d say that people should choose to spend their money where it makes the most sense to them to spend it, with whatever they feel is more important to them.

 

Post # 8
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Both our dream wedding bands are pretty expensive rings. My SO originally thought he would want something cheap, but when we started looking he changed his mind fast lol. 

For me, my wedding band isn’t super important, I’d be happy with just a plain band, but it is really important to my SO. He feels about it much like I did my e-ring. He’s going to be wearing it for the rest of his life, it’s pretty much the only jewelry he’ll ever wear, he really wants to love it. (I realize that I will be wearing my wedding band for the rest of my life too, but I’m already getting a very nice e-ring, so a simple wedding band would work for me still).

We’re willing to cut a bit out of the wedding so that we can have the rings we really want.

Post # 9
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We count the cost of my engagement ring separately from our wedding costs, since it was purchased solely by my DH, while both our parents are contributing to our wedding. As for our wedding bands, we went with a more expensive option for mine, but like you said, it’s something I’ll have forever so I wanted to get something that I loved, vs. something that was just okay. However, at the same time, I don’t know if I would sacrifice something like flowers or cut down on photography so we could afford a nicer wedding band…maybe go without favors, yes. 

Post # 10
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We didn’t put much money into either.  My engagement ring was the family stone.  He had it reset in platinum.  He sold the gold from the original ring and wedding band and was able to upgrade to platinum with little or no additional cost.  We were 19 and pregnant when we got engaged and I was very fortunate to even get a ring, much less the family stone! 

Our wedding came 8 years and 3 kids down the road.  We did a quickie JoP ceremony.  Our reception was dinner for our guests (our 3 kids, our parents, his sister, my brother and my brother’s 2 kids) at our favourite restaurant.  Not much as far as traditional receptions go, eh?

I guess if you boiled it down, our wedding bands were the majority of the cost of that day.  But, it’s not like we did that intentionally.  It’s just the way it worked out since we didn’t have a huge wedding or reception.   

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We didn’t factor the cost of the rings into the wedding (which we paid for ourselves). Otherwise, that’d have been another 20K we could’ve spent on the ring, lol. Not really feasible and I’d feel sort of selfish taking all that money for a ring that, while i wear it every day, is taking away from a joint celebration. If we were on a tighter budget, i could see rings factoring into the type of wedding we had a little more, though. It’s not like jewelry is cheap

Post # 12
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Soladylike: Sorry but a 15k ring and a 20k wedding is NOT somewhat conservative. I know I will get in trouble for this post but I just can’t believe the skewed views of some people.

Post # 13
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s funny, we spent a decent amount of our budget on our rings (his parents paid for the entire reception) because I thought “I’m going to be wearing this ring forever and I want it to be amazing” and it is! But honestly, while it’s beautiful, what matters to me most is my marriage and the happy memories I have of our wedding day and honeymoon. I still look at my ring and smile, but it’s not because it’s beautiful, but because it means I’m married to the love of my life. I’d wear a plain band on my hand with pride if my DH bought it for me. That doesn’t mean I don’t love things all diamond and sparkly! But it does mean that I realized that I was putting too much importance on the money spent and the sparkliness of the ring and not enough on what was important…the marriage. I feel like it was so easy to get all caught up in all the material things of the wedding but the things I remember most from that day were: the kind words of our families and friends, the love we felt, and the heartfelt ceremony where we promised to love each other for the rest of our lives. Everything else pales in comparison.

Sorry that turned into a novel. It didn’t end up where I planned when I started this post.

Post # 14
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

The actual wedding is much more important to us than the rings. Sure, we’ll wear the rings for the rest of our lives but we can always upgrade those. You can’t upgrade your wedding 10 years down the road…

Post # 15
Member
1993 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have always wanted a simple wedding incorporating the beach, but I have also wanted a really nice e-ring.  Everyone has different views, and no one is right or wrong, but I personally didn’t want to go the “upgrade later” route because I want to wear the ring my husband proposed to me with for my whole life.  I wouldn’t want to get rid of it later and trade in the sentimental value for a bigger diamond.  I LOVE my e-ring, it’s okay with me to have a smaller, less expensive wedding in order to know I get to wear this amazing ring forever.  I also realized that a smaller wedding is a lot more intimate, especially because I don’t have a huge family.  So it all worked out.  It’s tough to be able to do that, though, if you have a really large family.  I would really be in a pickle then;)

Post # 16
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@UpstateCait:The actual wedding is much more important to us than the rings. Sure, we’ll wear the rings for the rest of our lives but we can always upgrade those. You can’t upgrade your wedding 10 years down the road…

 

I couldn’t agree more. My band was the nicest but most affordable one I could find. It was a bit over 500$ which is not bad for a diamond band. Mr.Cosmo is looking for a comfort fit hammered flat fisnish ring…he’s picky :p His won’t be more than a couple hundred.

I’m just thrilled to marry the man, the rings are pretty but not a priority.

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