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OMG!!! I had to reread it to make sure it said Former BF...I can't believe he was ok with that...
@sweetpea1031: I almost started crying while I was typing this thread. I was always the girl that believed my guy friends and all their innocent BS about these places. I experienced quite the opposite. What is the likelihood (sp?) that the one night I get convinced to go, that these things were taking place? I doubt it was a coincidence and these things happen more frequent than we are lead to believe.
As a result, my FI has already said that he refuses to put me through the worrying and won't even go to a strip club.
I cannot imagine being forced into that situation as you were. I'm glad you got out of there though and away from your "BF" and "friends". You make very good points - maybe not all strip clubs are like that...but there are certainly ones like that that do exist!
@dance: Believe me, I feel like a total fool going along with it to impress a guy I thought I really liked. All of his friends and their GFs were going so I didn't think much of it. I was stupid for giving into the peer pressure.
@AngelS: i am curious what your "hmm" means?
@luvlovelovely: what a revolting story. how awful. i don't even know what to say except thank god you got of out there when you did and that you are no longer with the guy who brought you there. The only entertaining part of your story is when you say you threw the stripper off of you! i imagined some naked sl*t falling backwards and landing on her a**!! who knows, maybe everyone was laughing at her!
I agree, i've heard plenty of stories of what goes on in the back of strip clubs...regardless or rules, some of the ladies (not ALL mind you ) who work in those places will do just about anything for a buck. I'm really not saying all strippers will give it away for money, but in most strip clubs there are at least a few, and there is usually an understanding between owner, stripper and customer of who those girls are and how far they'll go, for how much.
I guess I was so traumatized that maybe they were laughing at her. I was so apalled that I hauled my cookies outta there and didn't look back except to stop and see a guy with a strippers mouth in his lap. If she wasn't giving a BJ, then she deserves an Emmy cause that is EXACTLY what it looked like.
Ugh! I have to admit that I never thought strip clubs were that big of a deal, but today's threads are making me think twice!
@MightySapphire: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. and here i thought it was national dessert month... didn't know about 'Bee holidays! :P
@MightySapphire: LOL!
@happyb: For what it's worth, I've been to strip clubs a couple times (with an ex and once with DH) and nothing bad happened, nor did I see anything bad happen. The worst part of the experience was a toss up between going to the bathroom which is where all the dancers got changed and I felt like I was invading their space (and felt bad they were relegated to hanging out in the bathroom), and all the other guys there who were looking at me which was a bit creepy but whatever. We went, we saw, we left. Boring story. That's why I never told it before.
@missjyc & @MightySapphire: I think it's been Bachelor Party/Stripclub Awareness Month
I am so sorry that my thread was reason to give many a platform to express snarky comments. I thought this was a place to vent, exchange ideas, show comradery and help out others. I was only trying to bring my experience to light and let people make an informed decision in regards to these places. I know it isn't a popular thread but there are a few that do care. I don't necessarily care about your wedding colors, but I don't post snarky comments as to color awareness month. I am so disappointed :(
We're not being snarky. It's just that there have been so many stripper threads this month (this week?) and I thought I'd lighten the mood. All this stripper talk is getting depressing! I am sorry about what happened to you.
OH MY! I'm so sorry you. First off, you had a very cruel boyfriend. Secondly, not all strip clubs are like that BUT I doubt most strip clubs are policed. I'm so sorry for you.
I don't think humor should minimize assault.
@luvlovelovely: I don't think it was intended as snarky - more just an observation that there have been an abundance of stripper threads lately, whereas there weren't all that many before. Personally, I was totally skeeved out by your story and feel terrible that those things happened to you. With a FH about to have his bachelor party it definitely makes me uneasy. That said, my FH equated doing anything with a stripper with "eating a taco out of a dumpster", (no offense to the non-groos strippers out there) so I'm trying to relax.
Glad your FH is so understanding!!
@luvlovelovely: There have just been A LOT of stripper threads lately. It's getting exhausting.
This is not to downplay what happened to you at all. That is absolutely horrible and I am so sorry that you had to go through that. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable like that or have to witness what you did.
But... that was your experience. I have been to strip clubs before and never had a problem.
@luvlovelovely: dont take the comments too personally, i think she was merely referring to the fact that there have been about 30 posts on strip clubs and strippers in the past month... more so in the past few days. i didnt think it was snarky, just a comment. dont be disappointed :)
I have been to several strip clubs with FI, in different cities and states. I have never had a problem.
I also disagree with starting a thread "I don't want to scare anyone..." and then go on to say that you were pretty much sexually assaulted at a club. Yeah, it's probably going to scare people.
I am so sorry that happened to you though :-(
I see these threads pop up every couple months, and usually I am pretty quiet, but I am going to finally share my experience.
I have gone to strip clubs on several occasions, in many different places (when I was in the army, I would go with the guys on their nights out - I am an expert coin flicker, and didn't want to make myself the odd one out by staying back at the base by myself).
I have never once seen any nipple licking/sucking/hands or mouths on other peoples genitals, etc. Trust me, if it was available, my old army friends would have had no trouble doing it with me there. The worst I saw was guys doing "hooter shooters" from strippers, and guess what, you can get hooter shooters at tons of clubs from "waitresses". The only time I was involved in any type of touching, was when one of the guys asked me to give a hooter shooter to a stripper (I did - it really wasn't a big deal). I saw lap dances in private rooms, but if someone got grabby with a girl they got roughed up pretty good and tossed by the bouncers.
I think that a lot of times these touching stripper stories are a gross exaggeration by guys to impress their friends, and the reality are these things like the OP is discussing happen incredibly rarely.
@luvlovelovely: I'm sorry I didn't mean to be snarky. I was just meaning that there have been many posts about this subject recently. I'm actually glad people are talking about it. Thank you for sharing your experience.
First off, I am so sorry that this happened to you. The whole situation was really wrong and I'm really sorry that this all went down the way it did. Your boyfriend was a douche.
But, I am going to have to get on the bandwagon with Ms Mini. Your experience is NOT the norm. I have been to many strip clubs as well, in several states and never had a girl do something to me that I was uncomfortable with. I've also never seen any sexual favors being exchanged. I do know that it does happen, but it is not as commonplace as people would like to think. The worst I have ever seen was a girl let my buddy grind on her butt for a second (fully clothed). Tame. I feel like this is going to start a bit of a panic over a topic that is already sensitive.
Next time you go, if you ever do again, you can say NO. Just remember that.
From my old roommate who stripped all through college:
The "no touching" rule is basically a myth. It only exists so that if a stripper gets upset, she can tell someone they're breaking a "rule".
Touching happens all the time...don't believe anyone who tells you differently.
Oh, so sorry that happened to you! What a gross thing to have happened! :(
In the interest of balance, for those ladies that are looking for real experiences on strip clubs, I have to say I've been to a few as well and have never had anything like that happen and haven't seen any of the shenanigans that I had worried about. So, I guess like everything in life there are good and bad places. Sorry you found a bad one, OP!
@luvlovelovely: I'm sorry if you thought anyone was being snarky. That certainly was not my intention. Rather, I was acknowledging how much focus people on weddingbee having been placing on strip clubs. Also, I am shocked at how terrible people have said they are.
OHHH my goodness, this scares me to death!!! I am currently going through a "strip-club scare" with my fiance....
All I can say in my defense it that it is very real where I am from. After my experience and sharing this with my guy friends that had lied to me all along, I got a lot of stories about their very real experiences. My FI went to a bachelor party 2 years ago and the Best Man had sex with one of the girls in a "private room".
Of course, I am sure not all places or strippers allow this behavior (like I said in my original post). I just wanted to share my personal experience and what I have been told after I experienced it first hand. It is a sad day when we have to try to dig and get these answers on a forum because we aren't always told the truth, but this is what this forum is for. I only wanted to give my perspective and I hope it helped at least one person wanting to hear a true story that wasn't second hand or embellished "locker room" talk by boys being boys.
Have a wonderful day, ladies 
Like others I have been to strip clubs and havn't seen any sort of touching or sexual favors. Does it happen? Of course! In fact a stip club in Dallas (not sure if it was the same one the OP went to) was shut down for prostitution.
The fact still remains: wether your FI/Husband goes to stip clubs or doesn't, it is up to him to recieve these "services" if your guy doesn't want to suck on a strippers nipples he won't. If he gets proposed for some sort of sexual favor the decision is still his to make.
@annieAAA, I agree with you entirely. Obviously there are many many different experiences at these clubs, probably as many as there are patrons. Yes, some pretty shady stuff can go down at some of these places and, I totally support being against them on principal. But, that doesn't change the fact that each patron has a choice on what goes on behind closed doors. The OP had a horrible experience, was touched against her will, and she immediately left. Any man can do this too.
Stirip clubs can be avenues for prostitution and trafficking. Period. This is the sad truth behind these clubs. That being said, no one is forcing any man to pay for sex at a strip club. Not the strippers, not his friends. It is one thing to cave into peer pressure and get a lap dance at a bachelor party. It is another to pay for sex acts. A man who does the former is probably just drunk and having a good time with his friends. The one who does the latter probably would do it for free. When my FI goes out and gets drunk with his friends he doesn't cheat on me, strip club or no strip club.
And, for what its worth, most men who are going to cheat won't choose to do it in a private room around their groomsmen. Obviously, as evidenced by these threads, people talk. Most people who cheat tend to try not to get caught. Its hard to do that when you are surrounded by 10 other guys.
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BTW, ladies...not to scare you...but I got to thinking about a previous thread and the posters talking about no touch policies and how innocent these places are. I decided to share a story that really was a nightmare for me...
I was dragged to a club with a former BF and a lot of other couples to a very upscale Dallas strip club. I had been convinced from former guy friends and BFs that these clubs weren't all the nightmare stories I had heard about. I didn't want to be the prude so I went. I will tell you we were all dressed very nice since we had been to dinner and I was wearing a dress. My so-called BF was obliterated and asked one of the girls to dance for us while I was in the bathroom. When I got back, my BF asked me to sit in his lap and I did. I sat on his legs. The stripper proceeded to put her va jay jay in my face with her boobs dangling in his. She had no problem letting him have his way with her nipples (i found this out later). She then asked me to put my legs on the outside of his knees. I was uncomfortable but went along with it anyways because I didn't want to embarass my BF. I held the front of my dress down so everyone couldn't see my business. She danced and kissed my calves which freaked me out a lot but I kept quiet. What happened next will make you think twice about how innocent these places are.
The girl had another dancer come over and distract us with a lot of dancing right up in our faces. I could smell this girls body lotion she was so in up my face. I turned my head and kept thinking about this being over soon and I could go home. While I was distracted and trying with all my might to keep my head away from the wriggling body parts in my face the unthinkbale happened. I had taken my hand off my dress and the other stripper had made her way between my legs. The next thing I know, I have a stripper licking my va jay jay over my panties. I threw the distraction stripper off me and jumped up with a bang. My BF and his friends couldn't stop laughing. I didn't find it at all amusing. I gathered my purse and as I headed out of the "private lounge" I saw a stripper giving a BJ. I know these guys tell you all that there are strict no touching rules, I am here to tell you that I went to a club with said rules and it was definitely not enforced. Do you know these bouncers and bartenders are tipped by the girls? Do you really think they are not going to keep these guys drinking and spending more money? Do you really believe that these bouncers don't want these guys paying big bucks for the "private" dances so these girls can earn the money to pay them out at night? Come on ladies, please use your head.
Whether a state has a "no touching" rule or not, the bouncers are not going to stop touching in a private room since that is EXACTLY what a private room is for. Think about this...why does a club that has nude ladies doing ungodly things in these guys faces during lap dances need a private room for? Do you think they get any more naked? Do you think that they can dance any more provocatively?
I am not saying all guys will go do these things or that even all clubs will allow such behavior. I am speaking from my personal experience and wanted to let you know what happened to me.