The sets of parents can't stand each other. What would you/did you do?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I haven’t dealt with this exact situation but I have had to deal with people who don’t get along at all because of divorce.

I simply had a talk with all of them individually and told them my expectations- courteous, civil behavior at all times.  I really don’t care how much they dislike each other, if they love me they will want to ensure that nothing ruins my wedding.

Post # 4
Member
3955 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Creiddylad:   What do the mothers have in common?  I’d try to find out any common interests and work on those.  Perhaps the unity that you and your SO have found will guide the others.

Post # 5
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@julies1949:  +1. And i personally would tell them that if they can’t respect my wishes – please don’t  come.

Post # 6
Member
3955 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014
Post # 7
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Short of coming right out and asking them “It is going to be our wedding day, I’d appreciate if you could put aside your differences for one day for us” There is nothing you can do. 

We cannot control others behaviors. It was my experience on our wedding day that those I expected problems from, were extremely well behaved, and when the stress became to much for them, they left. Which I appreciated. There was EXTREME hatred between two of my guests at our wedding and they said not a word to each other because I spoke to them individually before hand. It truely is the best you can you do.

Post # 9
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Creiddylad:  We didn’t have an engagement party, but did have several showers and a rehearsal dinner where they all behaved themselves.

Post # 10
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Neither showed up to the pre parties, like rehearsals. I didn’t care at that point. Truely. You get to a point where you throw your hands up and say “it will work out” .. 

Post # 11
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have no advice, I’m just curious how you met? The age gap boggled my mind for a bit. All I could think was he was going through puberty before she was born. No offense at all. All of the couples I know met at school or through friends. How did you meet your someone special?

Post # 13
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@Creiddylad:  tell them you’re having a child-free wedding and if they don’t start acting their ages and be mature adults then you will unextend an invite.

Post # 15
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@Creiddylad:  Relax, she just asked a question. I kind of wondered the same thing (along with some other things). You can put your defensive bone away now

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