The sex gets better as the relationship deteriorates

posted 1 year ago in Intimacy
Member
4839 posts
Honey bee

Nope. Never experienced that. Sorry. Perhaps it was partially because you stopped caring about getting him off and focused on yourself?

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454 posts
Helper bee

@Aquababes:  That’s a bit sad for both of you, but also good something was going right towards the end :(

Member
247 posts
Helper bee

When my ex-husband and I were at the end of our marriage, sex was the only thing we still did well together. So, we did it often. I think we were both trying to hang on to what was left. In the end, it wasn’t enough. But, I think it bought us another 6mos together or so. Even after he moved out, he still had sex. Obviously less often. Our last session was after our mediation appointment.

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2224 posts
Buzzing bee

I have found this to be true as well. When things were just about done with my ex and I, the sex was better than it had been (but still not great). But, at that point, it was the only thing we were doing that made each other semi-happy.

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3714 posts
Sugar bee

No, my husband and I have been together for eleven and a half years and sex is still amaing and the relationship is still fabulous.

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15 posts
Newbee

Op- I also found this to be true in my last marriage. Maybe it’s less pressure to please

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1035 posts
Bumble bee

My best friend said this about her last relationship. As it was really falling apart the sex got better. Haha! Who would have thought right? But if I were to analyze it, and everyone’s different, I think things you care about change as a relationship fizzles out, which may have effects on how you feel about the sex. For my friend I think it was one part her partner trying extra hard to save it (haha seriously).

Member
5942 posts
Bee Keeper

When my previous marriage deteriorated, the sex was empty, gross and unenjoyable.  I didn’t have any desire to have sex with the jerk, but I just did to keep the peace.  So I experience the opposite.

Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

It is different for every person, and every relationship.

BUT what you talk about is not uncommon.

Have heard about it over the years (I’m an Encore Bride over 50) from a lot of friends…

Sometimes have better sex when there is more tension / stress in a relationship (be that an impending break up… or even something as “odd” as a loved one dying etc).  Wierd for sure but it happens some guys in particular use sex totally as a “release valve”

If the relationship is totally doomed…

This action is sometimes known as the “Goodbye F*ck” the “One for the Road F*ck”… or the “For the old times F*ck”

Certainly, some folks even post break-up tend to find themselves still attracted to one another (for the wrong reasons)… aka the “For the old times F*ck”

Which is why you so often hear about Married Exes who can end up in bed together even tho their lives have moved on… or years have passed.

Personally, I’ve never had these feelings… I’m the type of gal, WHEN IT IS OVER… IT REALLY IS OVER AND DONE WITH !!

 

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