The Shut-It-Up Pact 11/19 – 12/3

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

WOO!  A new pact!  I’m on board – this one will go through Thanksgiving and into December.  So exciting.  I’m on Day 87 today….3 days until 90.  I’m pumped!  By Thanksgiving, I will be at 96 days….so by the end of this pact, I will be over 100 days!  I can do it!  I hope!!

One thing that has really helped me today was reading this thread that has recently popped back up into the recent posts/replies: boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-to-enjoy-being-just-a-girlfriend  There are some great points in here and I am going to try and embrace some of those for a while.  Hopefully it will help as I have been feeling a major disconnect for a week and a half now and I have been concerned since I have been feeling some resentment start to bubble up under the surface.  I need to try to get that out of my system or else I see an explosion of emotion headed my SO’s way.  So, my goal for this SIUP is to get that all under control and try to get back to being positive.  I’m going to enjoy Thanksgiving, hopefully will get SOME info from my dad after he talks to SO over the holiday, and we’ll go from there.

How’s everyone doing today?  Who have we got in for the new pact??

Post # 5
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

  I have lost my mind today so I really need some help with SIU.  Fortunately I haven’t lost it in front of him but I’m an anxious mess.  Yesterday I was floating on top of the world because on Sunday he had been very positive in talking about engagement (the famous “sooner than later” comment).  But it hit me in the face today that my sooner didn’t equal his sooner.  I posted about that late last night and the general takeaway was it was a stalling technique.  Sigh. I was thinking 1-2 months, preferably by the end of the year.  I realized this afternoon that he hasn’t even ordered the setting we picked out.  It can’t even be made by the end of the year.  I am thinking that the minute he finished telling me “sooner than later” that the entire notion of engagement was wiped from his mind.  Sorry – I know I’m being a downer.  I’m just so frustrated and confused.  We’ve talked about it ad-nauseum in the past so talking to him at this point is more detrimental than useful.  I need to SIU despite the fact that demanding questions want to come out of my mouth.  I cannot cannot cannot do that.  It’s the crazy talking, not me.  🙂

 

Post # 6
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

@MexiPino:  YAY! Thanks! Ive been doing SO GOOD the past few weeks. I even didnt say anything when SO joked that while hes on his bussiness trip this week Ill get my wedding show fix!

Post # 7
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

@kandykane1:  Thanks for sharing that thread–it’s awesome!! Definitely gives a lot of great advice to think about.  I’m trying my best to just enjoy being with my SO right now…a few of my engaged friends have told me to enjoy this time (less stress!) and not worry about the ring coming. Interesting to see everyone’s point of view. And congrats on almost 100 days wowza!!

And I’m here! 20 days of SIU 🙂 Aack I can’t believe this thread goes into December–these months just fly by, don’t they?? Here’s to reaching Christmas!!

Post # 9
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar

@MexiPino:  This is my first time doing this pact! i am really excited and nervous!! But i feel like i need it! so here goes to two weeks of no wedding talk! 

Post # 10
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@kandykane1:  Great post!  I like the second poster’s point about NOT seeing yourself as ‘Just a girlfriend’.  When you are in an intimate relationship, living together…doing everything together…you are sharing a world with someone!!

@SomedaymrsWDS:  I read your other post but I didn’t know how to respond to it.  I’ve not heard the ‘sooner rather than later’ bit from my SO yet….There is no ‘real’ timeline at all for us!  It’s very vague and out in the open and for a while that was VERY HARD to digest…but once you accept it, it get’s easier…have you read/followed Mr. Bee’s advice?  Things have been moving along for me once I started to implement it…Maybe it will help you too?

@wanabeabee:  HAHA I would have had to say something about his comment, like ‘Wedding show fix?  You mean my research?!?’ Tongue Out

Post # 11
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@MexiPino:  And on your 25th wedding anniversary you are not going to remember the extra couple months it took to get engaged. Hang in there! +100 to this!! or at least…it’s what I keep telling myself lol.

@katherin788:  Welcome to the pact!

@tigerallie:  I also agree that it’s nice to not be stressed out and planning for weddings.  I’ve been watching a lot of rich bride/poor bride, and I’ve been shocked to see how expensive weddings can be and how time consuming it can be as well.  OVERWHELMING!

Post # 12
Member
536 posts
Busy bee

After crashing and burning (big time!) on the last round, I’m in again and I’m in it to win it!

Post # 14
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

@MexiPino:  Here I go being negative again.  I have found the man I want to marry.  And I know he loves me and wants to be married and settled down. But… the longer he puts off getting engaged when there are NO obstacles (money, jobs, yada yada), absolutely NO obstacles to us getting engaged.  Oh except for the fact that he apparently isn’t ready to pull the trigger.  Since we are so invested in the marriage, blended families, etc.  it’s actually odd that he hasn’t proposed yet.  It’s one of those “he will do it in his own damn time” things.  The longer he waits the more I feel that he isn’t excited about it.  Then I have to question the whole man of my dreams thing because unrequited (OK, that’s melodramatic, let’s say un-excited) love isn’t my cup of tea.

I know in 50 years it won’t matter.  But it so feels like it matters in the pit of my stomach right now!

Post # 15
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar

hey ladies…it has been an interesting weekend…SO has been talking about marriage non stop…but monday i think he was just tired of talking about it lol this is the reason why i need to zip for now. 

i dont know if any of you are feeling nervous as the day may approaching? for some reason lately i have feeling super anxious and nervous and excited. So many feelings…any of you feel the same?

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