The Shut It Up Pact 3/12-3/25

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yayyyy for the new pact 🙂 So glad its still here after all of the new WB changes. 

I haven’t given an update in a while but I am struggling to keep my mouth shut. I wish I knew exactly where SO was in the ring process, its killlling me not knowing! We’re already half-way through March, so I know that I cant have longer than 3 months left to wait (at least I hope not!). I hope I can stay strong and not bug my SO 🙂 

Good luck shutting it up these next 2 weeks my fellow bee’s! 

Post # 4
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

veryberry13:  Awww thanks so much for the prize!! Though I have been a long time waiting bee, I have been weak lately, I must confess. With my nasty FSIL’s approaching wedding, it’s getting harder and harder to bite my tongue :'(

I’ll try to keep my cool and continue my secret wedding planning to tide me over haha..you can never be too ready

Post # 5
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Aww yay me and Bellanola have an e bracelet!

VB- what if the pact was just monthly? Less work for you and easier to find and check in if you’re not a WB addict. 

This is a big weekend for me- the one in which SO asks the parents blessing!!! I’ll either have a super happy update or the opposite. Eeeeeee!!!!

Post # 6
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Awe 🙂 thanks for the shout out! I will miss my pact buddies!! I will still check in from time to time though 🙂

Post # 7
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I really need to join this. I’ve been bad about not SIU lately. I know he’s going to propose this summer and I don’t want to drive him nuts… But I’m so excited! Lets do this!! 

Post # 8
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Hi bees, day 25 for me! I’ve been traveling a lot lately for work, so marriage hasn’t been on the mind so much. 

My goal was to SIU until mid-March, which has basically been accomplished. It might be time for another marriage chat. Maybe after we hear back about SO’s recent job interview. 

Stay strong, bees! 

Post # 9
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I went strong for 7 days! I’m in!

Post # 10
Member
40 posts
Newbee

Please put me on. I’ve picked out a ring and waiting for SO to buy it and propose. I seriously want to SIU!

Post # 11
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

Wooo! First day being able to comment after not being able to log in at all since the new site went live. Hope everyone is doing well.

I have been managing to keep my trap shut, but we are looking at houses together at the moment, so the thoughts keep coming to the surface.

I think this is week 3 of my pact though so not too bad. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
446 posts
Helper bee

Hello lovelies! Ok. I’ve been incredibly bad about keeping the pact lately. But y’all. I had a good excuse. SO’s little sister got engaged last weekend. If you remember, the month before, his brother proposed to his girlfriend, and his other brother was married in October. And as some of you may or may not know, SO and I had been dating significantly longer than all of them (7 years). Girls, it was literally the straw that broke the camels back. On Wednesday night, I had a talk with him and told him that I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t. I felt like all I was doing was holding on to something that wasn’t going anywhere. We have dated for so long now. I moved back home for him. I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting, and honestly, until Christmas, when I came out and questioned him, I had been waiting extremely patiently. I went into that conversation with the intention of either ending it altogether, or taking a serious break. I explained to him that I too was afraid of marriage, because it’s a big change, its the unknown, I don’t want to get married and all of a sudden be a dumpy old wife with 6 kids, but my desire to be with him was greater… That marriage didn’t have to be something that changed who we were or our relationship. Obviously we know each other well enough after 7 years to know how we work. We’ve seen the best and worst of each other. If anything, marriage would only enhance what we already have because we would move in together and really start making a life together (I’ve chosen not to live with him because I didn’t want him to have the milk for free or however the saying goes) I bascially went on and on like this, explaining that I’m ready to take that next step WITH him. I want to be his #1 supporter, I want to take on life with him, and that the only way we could do it was move forward. That we would never see what was on the other side of the mountain if we never took a chance and climbed it. I was amazed at his reaction. I was expecting him to explain how he just wasn’t ready and didn’t think the time was right, but amazingly, it was like something clicked in him. He said, Ok, I understand. I want that too. I want to have a life with you, that’s all I’ve ever wanted, I’ve just been scared to take the next step, but I really do want it and realize that I just have to go for it.  I couldn’t believe it. I told him he couldn’t say that just to make me feel better, and he promised me he wasn’t. More than anything, it was the look in his eyes, like he had truly realized that maybe he was ready afterall… He is hanging out with a few of his friends that are in town today, and when I sent him a text to say, “hope you are having fun!”, he replied, “I miss you so much though, more than ever. Thank you for the talk the other night, you truly are a special girl that I want to start a new adventure with. I love you.” I feel so much better. The other night, after he told me that he wanted to move forward with me, I told him that I couldn’t wait another year or another six months. That the ball was now in his court. Hopefully, this insanity will be coming to an end soon. I feel like we made huge progress, so starting today, I am shutting it up and hoping for the best!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  .
Post # 13
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

bellenola:  YAAAAY! I am so happy for you! And proud of you! 

As for my update, I am starting over again, I guess that makes today day one. My dad came to visit this week, so I talked about it with him, and then last night I just wanted to surf pinterest. So I start again. But… I think he is actually starting to look at / plan something. I have been pretty cool with the idea of it happening during the summer (he makes more money in the summer, money is tight right now). Meaning that I have been mainintaining a cool confidennce.  I know it is going to happen, but also know it will be a few months away; no reason to get excited. WELL… lately he has been being a little secretive- keeping his phone angled away from me when we are both on the couch in technology comas. But then he smiles at me like he knows that I know he is up to something. LOL. Maybe my dad and him had some good conversations. I did leave them alone for like 2 hours one night… 

Post # 14
Member
446 posts
Helper bee

BrownPlaidBook:  Thanks, girl! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that your SO has a plan in the works! Have you picked out a ring or described to him what you want? Show me your style!

Olympia: I remember you bringing up marriage after a keeping it quiet for a very long time, I just can’t remember how long ago that was. How do you think you will bring it up this time? Keep us informed!

MrsBuesleBee:  An update???? Were you super nervous knowing that he was going to ask for your parents’ blessing? I hope you get an engagement soon!

westcoast_girl:  hello my fellow “i’ve been with my boyfriend for a LONG time” friend! Did I tell you that SO’s little sister got engaged last weekend. You can imagine my heartache… I definitely had a huge talk with SO, which I posed about a couple of comments above. It went well, I’m feeling better. Now I’m trying to keep my mouth shut and allow him to take control of this, which he BETTER do! Don’t forget we are always here if you need to vent!

Post # 15
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I don’t understand these “shut it up” pacts. That sets women back at least a hundred years. Isn’t marriage something both people should decide to enter into together? Why should women feel as if they must wait for the man to decide when the time is right to become engaged? My husband and I openly talked about getting married and decided on a date together. He then bought me an engagement ring, presented it to me, we celebrated and have been together ever since. 

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