Post # 1
We’re now less than 100 days away from getting married and I am having a hard time dealing with some of the planning, especially since it’s getting so much closer now. My Fiance is living 300 miles away while he finishes his grad school work. I think I have cut him a little too much slack. He has his thesis due at the end of the month, so I’ve been saying that I can take care of things. I finished up grad school this month, too, but my thesis was written last year. Plus, I am living in the town where we’re going to get married (and live…he will move home for good in a few months), so it just makes sense. I feel like I have discounted everything that I do. I am a teacher, my class is a bit more difficult this year, I have been finishing a Master’s degree as well. He hasn’t accused me of not being busy or made those remarks, but I think I’ve taken on much more than I can handle.
We’ve been going through some problems with the ceremony. Fiance and I are both Christian. He is Catholic, I am Protestant. I suggested trying to have a minister from both of our religions, and he was really on board with that. Well, it’s not quite as easy as it seems. Our ideas aren’t flying with either side, and it’s making planning a heck of a lot harder. We’re having a meeting with the minister from my side tomorrow (I’m going to Skype in my Fiance so he can be there) to see if there is anything we can do. I am a people pleaser and it is eating me alive that this isn’t working the way that we’d like it.
I have never been good with dealing with stress. I had gotten better recently, but I think with everything going on (plus, I’ve been put on some different medicines lately, and I think they may be messing with me), I can’t relax and unwind. The thing I know for sure is that I love my Fiance with all of my heart. He is very supportive of me, we are normally very good about talking through problems (this last one has been tougher, since we’ve both had incredibly busy weeks…him with this paper, me with report cards and conferences). Before him, I wouldn’t ever bring up a problem with a SO because I thought they would just walk away, but with him, I feel as though we can have disagreements. We have common interests and ideas about money, raising a family, all of these things. I just am having problems letting go of things that aren’t going the way I/we want them.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
It sounds like you have a great relationship with your Fiance. You’ll be able to work through the ceremony issue, even if it means getting other officiants- it CAN be done!
Try yoga. Seriously- it works wonders. 🙂
Post # 4
Girl….I hear ya! Check out my post…I think it was titled something like ‘I cried at my desk today’ lol. Weddings are STRESSFUL! My heart goes out to you. You can do it. Just keep focused on the point…you’remarrying the love of your life!!
Post # 5
Oh man I can relate! While working full time and writing my thesis in the evenings/weekends, I was wedding planning in between. Well more like wedding planning while writing my thesis in between. It was sooo distracting. I was wishing I was on Ritalin for a while!
We’ve actually cancelled the wedding (was July 2012) due to my father’s terminal illness and decided to elope later on. I’m glad it’s off my plate right now, I need to get this thesis done in 6 weeks time. Then when that is done, my dad will be fairly ill so I’ll need to fit in flights home often.
You’ll learn how to handle the stress! I’m glad your Fi is something who is so compatible with you. The good marriages that last will have conflicts, but it’s all with how you DEAL with the conflict that determines happiness/longevity!
Post # 6
@rebwana: Thanks for the suggestion on yoga! Do you have any DVDs you would recommend? I have a Biggest Loser yoga DVD, but that’s about it. I know that I don’t exercise nearly enough (I do Zumba about once a week), and that can help. I really need to change my eating habits, too. I’m hoping we don’t have to change ministers, especially on my part, because the one from my church is actually a close relative of mine. That was my big reason for wanting him to officiate.
@greenviolets: I’m sorry you’re going through this, too! It’s so nice to have a supportive community here. I was nervous that I would have people chastising me for not getting this settled earlier. You’re exactly right…we’re getting married, and that’s what is important.
@sienna76: I’m so sorry to hear about your dad! I’m really close to my dad, I would be a mess if I found out that information. I don’t blame you for eloping. Fiance and I joke about it, when things get stressful. My Fiance and I are really good at handling difficult situations. We’ve been in a LDR the past 3.5 years, so we’ve had a lot of opportunities to get great at communication :-). This is stressful, and I want it to work out for everyone. I need to let it go and realize that it may not work out the way that I had envisioned it…it certainly won’t be the only thing!
Thank you, bees, for your kind support. I had talked to Fiance on the phone earlier this morning, and we both just sounded stressed. I talked to him after posting this and told him that I loved him. He immediately brightened up, and we had a nice phone conversation. We’re having a phone conference with the minister from my church tomorrow afternoon. I’m a little nervous, but I also know that this is out of my hands. I’m definitely going to go try that yoga thing.
I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster today, to say the least. I’ll go from worrying about it to feeling confident that it will all work out and back again. I kind of just want to get this conversation over with and move on to the next stressful event :-). I think my medicine is also playing with me…I take Concerta for ADD and I just switched to a new method of birth control, so different hormones and everything…joy! I’m trying to keep these things in mind right now, too.