The Stress of Wedding Planning…It's getting to me!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m sending you a virtual hug! That all sounds so stressful! I really hope that the bishop comes through and you’re able to do the date in March. Stay diligent! 

Post # 3
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I was just as stressed as you when I began planning. First thing to do is to sit down with your fiance and plan a date and find a venue. Don’t worry about your FSIL having the spot light. You aren’t going to rain on her parade and you have every right to plan it when the two of you want it. That is one thing you will learn, don’t worry about pleasing everyone else. This is your day and your fiance’s day, no one else should matter.

Your mother on the other hand…she is excited! My fiance and I have been together for 10 years when he finally proposed and my mother went through the roof when it came time to plan. She and I have definitely had our moments of bickering but honestly I have come to realize that she is just excited and we both have crazy ideas but the big picture is that we both want the day to be special and memorable. Both of us have talked it out and now we know that we have to make compromises. She is paying and is my best friend so of course I want her to chime in, but if there is something I truly want to be in the wedding, like cupcakes and donuts instead of a traditional cake, I am sticking to my guns and making sure it happens. I have compromised and agreed to have a small cake for my fiance and I to cut though.

You will get the hang of the planning process. You have more than enough time. Once you get the big pieces out of the way, the rest will fall into place. After we got our budget, venue, date, and food out of the way it has been a really fun experience. This is your only time to plan, so don’t stress too much. You just need to talk to those around you and remember who this day is really for.

Post # 4
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

bellenola:  Not that you are seeking advice per se (although I will keep my fingers crossed for you), but I honestly think that you are SO stressed because you are relying on too many ‘outsiders’ opinions, and are being pulled in far too many directions right NOW!

In order to maintain sanity, I would show your mom, and follow a wedding timeline, BUT you have pick a date first and foremost.  It is wonderful that your priest is willing to work with you, if he is granted permission, AND marry you outdoors in your dream location.  However, and it sounds to be a really important aspect for you, if he cannot do it until early April, then somehow you have to tell your FSIL ‘too bad!’ (more gently of course…:)).  She is getting married in July.  Early April, mid April, end of April – heck, pretty much most of May is PLENTY of time for her to not have her wedding be ‘infringed upon’.  By listening to what she wants you to do, you might miss out on what YOU both need/want to do!!

Once you have a strict timeline (9, 10, 15 months, etc), then these wedding planning tools will be SO helpful on what needs done, and when.  Step by step, bit by bit.  I used theknot’s, and it was a wonderful online tool for us.  Check things off as they tell you too, and you really do remain ‘on task’!!  Your mom needs to let you breathe. It is not as if you are saying you do not need her help with the dress, or a cake topper, but it is not something that needs to be done right now!! 

She seems legitimately excited for you, and that is awesome, but not everything needs to be done at all once.  I found the first few months was meeting after meeting for bigger vendors, and then a lull hit, where I was able to do the ‘smaller’ things, and then 3 months beforehand it picked right back up again.   Good luck, and enjoy 🙂

Post # 5
7936 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

HEY girl. Sorry its stressful! I think you really need to stand up for yourself a bit more on both counts. Mom, I know youre excited, I am too. But we really shouldnt stress about ____ minute detail until we have the basics, like a venue and a date. I get why you feel stressed, its because you dont have a date! When you have  a venue, you have a wedding.

RE: YOUR FUTURE TERROR OF A SISTER IN LAW I think you guys need to stop deferring to her so much!

“I asked my FSIL if us having our wedding in early April would be alright, since it would be the week after Easter to avoid the Lent problem, and she told me that honestly, it would be too close to her wedding. I was pretty disappointed to hear this, since it would literally be two weeks after our tentative March wedding date.”

She is not the queen and commander of the worlds weddings and you guys are reinforcing that she is by letting her ME ME ME the ultimate say in your wedding planning. Shes being insane. April is a fine time to do it- its still a different season.

I would just place the deposit on the date you want in April, so be it. Theres plenty of time left for her TO JUST DEAL WITH IT. And start enjoying her life rather then getting worried that shes not being treated as speshulest pretty princess ever *insert tiara here*

Have your bro say hey sister, March does not work out as its during Lent so we set a date in April. Do not ask. Tell. The problem is her attitude, not your date. Is she paying for the wedding? NO. She can get the F over herself. It kills me! Seriously dont let her steamroll you. Put her in her place (and by that I mean have your FH do it) and stand your ground!!!


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