- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
I know that you’re supposed to communicate in a calm and rational manner, lay all your needs and feelings on the table where your concerned and loving spouse will listen attentively, reflect back what you’ve said and apologize for being so careless…it all ends with a promise to try harder and a loving kiss….
IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE!!!
In our house the burly grump-a-saurus-rex that is Mr. 99, stomps around the kitchen throwing the newly bought groceries into the fridge like so much trash while the dogs, sensing the tension hide beneath the kitchen table to avoid getting smacked with some stray head of lettuce…meanwhile, I keep poking…and poking and poking the bear…FINALLY, he turns around with a carton of eggs in his hands, hollers,
“GET OVER IT!” and slams them on the table…..kerrrr-splooosh
It is at this point, in my anger and rage that I vow:
“I will NEVER get over it and we’re going to fight about this until the day you die!!!”
Covered in eggs and yolk and looking generally infuriated, he narrows his eyes and pushes back with,
“I’ll pencil it on my calendar Lover, cause you’re being crazy…”
throwing a towel at him I holler
“And you’re being an asshole…”
As he wipes the remnants of egg off his hands he casually throws the soaked thing back at me with, “And you’re Mrs. Asshole…..have a great day, honey.”
….as he leaves the room I’m left with NO ALTERNATIVE but to flip off his back as he leaves…..but he knows what I’m doing…
“Don’t give me the finger when I’m not looking…you squinch up your face and look like a troll…”
Angry, frustrated and totally pissed that he got the last word AND knows about my secret flipping off face….I hide his keys in the butter dish in the fridge and leave for work….