The suspense is killing me!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Why are you agreeing to marry this man?

Post # 4
Member
916 posts
Busy bee

@Trilly:  Agreed.

 

 

@MissHarleyBlue:  If he truly wants to marry you he would have put money aside to buy the ring or help buy it with you. I didn’t read your other post but from this one he sounds like he isnt ready to get married.

 

Why are you still waiting for him?

Post # 6
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MissHarleyBlue:  It makes me so sad for you that he is being lazy and…forgive me, MEAN, about something that DOES matter so much to you.  And there’s nothing wrong with it mattering to you.  I’m confused about why you’ve bought his wedding ring if he hasn’t bought you an engagement ring, though? Maybe I’m mixed up on timelines.

Post # 7
Member
916 posts
Busy bee

@MissHarleyBlue:  I agree with @MissCaraMia too. 

 

Him being mean about something that matters so much to you is saddening. 

Post # 8
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

@MissHarleyBlue:  Why are you marrying this guy? You sound really resentful, frustrated, and frankly, it sounds like this guy is never going to meet your expectations. Based on this and your other posts, he doesn’t sound like much of a prize… It also sounds like he’s not committed or doesn’t want to be engaged/married and you are pushing it with him quite a bit.

I think you (and he, if you’re still planning on getting married) need some counseling. He sounds totally frustrating to deal with, but at the end of the day you are in control of your emotions, no one gets to choose them for you. I’m also a waiting bee so, I get the frustration and feelings of “how much !*#&*# longer is this guy going to make me wait???” but if you’re spending a week being upset/in a foul mood because of him maybe disappointing you, that’s not healthy.

Have you had an honest, open conversation with him about how “when you did X, it made me think that you did not care about my feelings, and I felt unloved”? I would be curious as to how he felt to after you rejected the ring he tried to give you because he didn’t “properly propose” (not every proposal is of epic proportions, was he heartfelt and honest when he proposed?)? Have you told him his “jokes” are hurtful?

Post # 10
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Men can be doofuses about rings sometimes. A lot of them just don’t get how much this one piece of jewelry can mean. It seems like you’ve let him know it’s a big priority for you though, and if he’s still being this flippant and dismissive… yeah, no thank you. Best of luck to you no matter the outcome, and I hope you have a better week!

Post # 11
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Halloweenie:  Totally agree.  Engagement rings don’t really mean ANYTHING to my FI, which is why he doesn’t care when I buy more and more of them (don’t judge me!) And I had to guide him on the whole ring process, because in his opinion, asking me is enough.  And he’s not wrong.  But I wanted a ring, and I offered to pay for half of what I wanted, without reservation. 

Post # 13
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2018

He should want to make you happy, expecially when it comes to popping the question. Dont listen to the bees asking “why are you marrying this man” that is your own personal choice and you owe no one an explanation of your reasoning! … What I would do if I was in this situation is wait until the day you think he’s going to propose, and if he doesn’t- tell him how it makes you feel having to buy your own ring, and him not keeping his promises. Don’t you want a man that makes you happy, and keeps his promises? If he can ‘t understand your feelings, and own up to his slacking behavior, and agree to make an effort to change, he may stay that way forever, and only you can be the judge of knowing if you want to deal with that. Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@MissCaraMia:  I love that idea! I was all about an equitable split of the purchase, especially because the ring I picked was a bit more than he was originally envisioning (though still really reasonably priced since it isn’t big, and it’s vintage). He did end up paying for it, but I did all the actual legwork into researching styles, finding a store, taking him with me, telling him to write the check, etc., so I still consider it a joint effort, haha!

Sometimes you’ve gotta be aggresive, BEE-E aggresive if you want to get what you really want! 😉

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