(Closed) The taboo subject – But I’d really like to know!

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I would go to a store and buy a small something on sale. Not sure if they have things like TJ Max of Marshalls there but you can buy nice stuff really cheap there.  

It isnt tit for tat and she is just trying to aleve her guilt for not getting something for you. 

Plus if you show up empty handed others will think its strange even if she doesnt. I would be willing to bet people would say some bad stuff about it since they don’t know the back story.  People like to judge and gossip as a general rule.

Post # 4
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would go for the “Can’t Wait!” I wouldn’t glorify the subject anymore. IMO, you’re right — IT’S FOR THE BABY. Don’t sink to a level of her. Don’t give more than what you can afford or what you’re comfortable with, but I would give something. A Babies R Us Gift Card — or something sincere and thoughtful on the cheaper side!

It seems so many things these days are TIT FOR TAT and it disgusts me! Close friends and family members I ALWAYS go overboard with baby buying. I LOVE IT SO MUCH! 🙂 :), but I don’t expect anyone to go overboard for me — and I’m sure FSIL won’t go overboard for our wedding gift, when I organized, through her shower and almost broke the bank because I fell in love with so much stuff… but that’s a completely different thread!

Grrr.

Post # 5
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, I would write back to the message and say something like “I was going to get your baby something regardless” and then get the baby something.  I would never show up to a party/shower without anything in hand, even if that person didn’t give me anything.

Post # 7
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Hmmm. That is strange. Some people just don’t have much of a sense of social decorum. I’d probably say “No that’s fine I wanted to get something for the baby” and buy diapers or something else baby exclusive.

Post # 8
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think she might be feeling guilty that she didn’t get you anything and wanted to address that. I to am extremely generous. I would get her whatever you want.  The ball is totally in your court here.  I would not go cheap if I were in your shoes, but I also, given her remarks, would not feel pressured toward extravagance.  Best wishes however you go.

Post # 9
Member
1928 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the other ladies I would get something on sale. Even if someone tells me not go get them something, I would never show up to a shower empty handed.

Post # 10
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Just_Squeeze: Im shocked that she would write that on facebook…she looks like a total ass now!

 

I would get the baby something. Maybe even write on her wall, “I wasnt going to get anything for you anyways, it was for the baby” *laugh* No, dont do that! but you know what I mean. Be the better person and like other people said dont go all out, just grab a a little something.

Post # 11
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think she is being honest and wants you to know that she she isnt expecting anything but still wants you and your partner to come. Who knows why she didnt get you a wedding gift but the fact that she remembered is a good sign to me. I would just not mention the gift part and give her the gift regardless

Post # 12
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ummm, that’s awkward! Yeah, I guess I would get something small.

Post # 13
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@Just_Squeeze: Then that is a whole ‘nother issue that your husband should address with his whole family and is not going to be solved my not getting a present for only one member of the family, a member that isnt even born yet!

Post # 15
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@bells: Agree.

I also don’t think its getting stepped on if someone doesn’t give you a gift (but I am of the camp that I NEVER expect a gift from someone). I think I would give her a gift at whatever value you feel comfortable with, but I wouldn’t not get a gift, because it sounds like its just not in your nature, and I know if I were in your posiition I would feel bad going empty handed.

Post # 16
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

 I would reply with “can’t wait” and buy something withing my budget for the baby. I feel just like you in that my SO and I are always going out of our way to buy gifts and do nice things for friends/family that never buy us gifts for our birthdays or whatever the ocasion is. Every year I say we’re not buying so and so a gift this tear but I always end up getting something small because that’s just how we are. We like to buy the gifts, and never expect anything in return.

The topic ‘The taboo subject – But I’d really like to know!’ is closed to new replies.

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