The Time Before SO

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Mattyfeets:  That sounds like such a sweet card!

I decided today to make him a “reasons I want to marry you” journal throughout the rest of our engagement, so I’m catching up on the 49 days I missed.  It’s definitely making me think of how grateful I am to have met him.

Post # 3
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

Mattyfeets:  aw how sweet!

Yes, i often think about my life before SO and how much i have changed/grown. I also like to think about what my life would be like if we hadn’t met! Or if i hadn’t started working at my job..would i have ever met my ex? and have a horrible experience that would eventually lead me to online dating that introduced me to SO? 

Post # 4
1209 posts
Bumble bee

leisha606:  I often think of the same things.. if I hadn’t married my Highschool sweetheart, or run away to Australia with a man shortly after my ex left… So many things that have lead me to meeting SO and I couldn’t be more greatful!

Mattyfeets:  Your SO sounds like a keeper for leaving such a sweet card!

Post # 5
4878 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Dh has been around so long, it’s hard to remember.  Right before I met my now dh, I was married to an abuser.  I had just left him & filed for divorce when I met dh.

So, I rarely think about the pre dh times.  That was over ten years ago.

Post # 6
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We were 15, so it’s really hard to remember!

Post # 8
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Mattyfeets:  Seems like just yesterday DH and I were eating pizza on ol’ blue recliner in our apt watching Netflix and discussing wedding music. And now we are oogling our son’s smiles on our comfy couch in our house while our Saint Bernard snores. We often just sit there and can’t imagine what life was like without our son or Saint. It’s crazy that DH is going to be 30 in 6 months, and I met him when he was 24.

Post # 9
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011


sassy411:  My story is similar to yours, and I try not to think about it too much. 

Although we weren’t married, we lived together from the time we were 17 to 19, and were a couple from 15 until I left him at 19.  He was an abuser, he isolated me from my family and friends and I remember basically having a really shitty life.  He never worked, but was always doing drugs and was a dealer for a short time.  He was in and out of jail.  I wasn’t into drugs or ‘that lifestyle’ so I worked full time while continuing school.  It was tough.  I remember some times he would make the decision between buying drugs or eating.  Often, it was drugs and we would go hungry.  We moved to a town about 1.5 hours away from everyone, and when I went home for Christmas, he cheated on me.  That was my chance to leave, and I took it.  About 10 months later I met my DH, and we are coming up on our 8 year dating anniversary and 3 year wedding anniversary (same date!)

The first while was tough for me because all the things that made my ex tick was ingrained in me.  I was afraid to look at another man (ex would freak if I looked up at someone walking on the sidewalk) I was afraid to sing along to the music (ex would get pissed if I did that) and little things like that.  My DH was/is wonderful.  He paid off my student loan, he helped me pay for a bill that had gone to collections under my name, but because of my ex still living in the house and opening my mail.  I have no idea where I would be if I stayed with my ex (I don’t even want to imagine) and I’m just so so thankful to have my DH now.  He spoils me, shows me the love I didn’t know I deserved before, takes care of and loves my family, encourages me to follow my dreams…I don’t count my lucky stars enough.

Post # 10
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s hard to remember a time without DH, as we’ve been together just shy of 13 1/2 years now…. I met him when I was just out of high school. A lot has gone on in that time, good and bad. Before him, however, I had one other (somewhat) serious relationship. That ex is now on wife #2 and has 2 children, one from each ex/wife. I mean, he was a good guy, but we were young and I knew it wasn’t meant to last, especially once my DH came into the picture.

Post # 11
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

I actually think about it a lot because FH is the only person I’ve been with for more than a few months and at one point in time (hours before we met being the most recent), I convinced myself I wasn’t going to find somebody.  I had dozens of short-term, failed relationships and was starting my 20’s no different than high school. When was it going to get better?

My life isn’t too different except he’s been it since May 8, 2012…and I’ve been happier ever since. 

Post # 12
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I definitely do. It is an amazing feeling! To think that since we’ve been together my FI has gone through so much, as have I, and we’ve been able to be right by each others side through it all. To be able to fully trust and get engulfed in someone and their life, and them do the same for you is amazing. It’s wonderful to know that this is the person you’ll be spending every triumph and disappointment with throughout your life. 

Post # 13
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I think about it a lot in the sense of how things have changed since weve been together, and also how much different would my life be if things had been different. I met my FI in high school but we didnt start dating til years later, and I often think like, would we still be together if we had started dating in high school? Or did us dating other people change us in such a way that we are so perfect for each other? 

Its strange to think about sometimes. 

Post # 14
149 posts
Blushing bee

I think about it frequently, actually. We have been together almost two years…. but it’s so weird to think that this time two years ago, we didn’t even know eachother existed. Actually, I was still living in my home state, working a job I did not like, and in a relationship I wasn’t happy in. I dated my ex for almost five years, all through college and for about a year after graduation. I decided I wanted a “life makeover”….. So I applied for a new job, moved six hours away, broke up with my ex, and met my now fiance….all in about 1.5 months. I couldn’t believe how much my life changed in such a short amount of time! 

Post # 15
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Mattyfeets:  Sometimes. I can’t believe how lucky I got with my husband. I swung for the fences on that one! He’s amazing. Whatever idiot decisions I make in the future, at least I got this one right. This October will be 10 years together, so I don’t think I can even blame the honeymoon stage anymore.

I did have kind of a hard childhood. I can’t believe how much better life is now.

Good job, 18 year old ten years ago me. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Fizzy8.
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