(Closed) The unknown is hard to handle!

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
2032 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry that you’re going through all of that stress right now!!  I’m sure that having at least something to do with your wedding plans is helping to keep some of your anxiety about your father at bay…and not being able to do anything is only making it all a zillion times worse.  

I don’t have a lot of advice, except to maybe plan something a little further out?  Maybe if you specifically planned something for, say, Christmas-time, that would give you enough time for things to happen, and having something to do will keep you from going crazy? Or maybe plan for next summer, when you know you’ll have plenty of time?  Grief can do funny things to you, I speak from experience on that one firsthand.  I remember that when my husband passed away, the more I could ‘do’ made me feel better and stop freaking out…but I would also get overwhelmed by trying to do little things and had to take everything very slowly.  If I had to plan a wedding in that time, it never would have happened…I know it’s a different situation but it might help you??

 

Post # 5
Member
2032 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I lost him to cancer almost 3.5 years ago, he was sick for almost 4 years all together.  Even after that I can’t imagine losing my father, I’m so so sorry for what’s happening with you.  In my situation, no matter how much I didn’t want him to go…I knew it was inevitable and the longer he held on the worse he got.  When it was over, while it was tragic and I was utterly heart broken and beyond sad, I was almost relieved when he died…I knew he wasn’t sick anymore and a huge weight of constant worry about what would happen when I left the room was lifted off of my shoulders.  

What you’re feeling about your FI and worrying that he could die before you’re married is totally normal, but there is nothing wrong with going to therapy and talking about it if that’s something you’re open to.  Also, please feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat not in a thread Smile

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