The waiting game…

posted 2 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Clove86:  So sorry to hear you’re in this boat (I’m here too with an extra life jacket!!) a lot of us bees are here for the same reason.

One piece of advice echoed through all these posts will be to have an honest talk with him. About what you want, what he wants, what you need to feel better and feel like your life is moving forward! 

Big hugs to you and just know even though you feel alone – you’re certainly not. All us bees are right there with you the same story and same current feelings. 

I hope to hear you’ve had a heart to heart and I really hope ypu get a ring on your finger soon!!

 

Post # 3
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Clove86:  I know the waiting game, I was with my FI 10 YEARS before he finally proposed. We had a dog, bought a house and lived together for 4 years. As much as you hate waiting you have to think about it this way…you are committed, as you said, you picked out the ring together, you found a receipt for proof he bought one, now it is just a matter of time. Maybe he just isn’t ready, you cannot blame him. That is a lot of pressue, and clearly you are not helping by hinting or getting irritated.

My FI had my ring a whole 5 months before he proposed. I had no idea it was coming, by that time I was content knowing I would marry this man, just wasn’t sure when it was going to happen. But I honestly think you need to sit back and be patient. If you love him enough then it will happen.

Post # 5
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Clove86:  I don’t buy the being patient and let it happen. That’a not how it happens for all couples. Some guys are just comfortable and think engagement means babies and they don’t want to rock the boat. 

For me- we’ve been together 5 years, he’s been divorces and through 3 deployments and I’ve been patient and always kept a stiff upper lip. The past year has been really hard on me but I didn’t show that to him. Last month he caught me in the middle of a melt down when I thought I was alone. That turned semi-argument (we don’t fight) and then made him cry to see how upset and truly hurt by him I felt. The next weekend we went ring shopping together. Now I’m still waiting so I can’t say life is rainbows and butterflies but I do think him catching me at my most vulnerable self helped our relationship and really showed how much this gesture means to me. 

It’s different for every bee – but if your gut is telling you to have a talk then do so. My advice is don’t hold back or bite your tongue. Maybe it’s exactly what he needs to see or hear. Woman are naturally stoic but also to a fault… And our own detriment at that. 

hugs!! Let us know what happens

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Gabrielle713.
Post # 7
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

 

Clove86:  I don’t know if this helps, my SO was kinda dragging his feet in the spring we had just bought a house and I wanted to be married. I finally sat him down and asked him why he was hesitant. Turns out that he was afraid ” I would change”

I guess guys at work would tell them the horror of when the ring went on how their wives basically changed overnight. Once I told him that was not in my plans he seemed much more at ease.

I am not saying its this exact issue but talk to him it might be something as simple as this good Luck 🙂 waiting is hard! Mine has a NYC trip planned and the ring is here now all there is to do is wait :$

Post # 8
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Clove86:  SO said the same thing about needed to ask my dad – and we live with my parents right now so it’s like uhh you have pleanty of opportunities to! They’re buddies and go hunting together! Why is it so hard?? Well they talked and my dad is now asking what’s taking so long? so maybe having to answer to my father will help things along! Ugh this blows sometimes….

I really wanted to be engaged before his sisters baby shower this Saturday in LA. Sometimes she gives me the impression that her marriage is a more legitimate relationship than ours because of a piece of Paper even though we’ve been together longer! She also has 3 kids by an ex-boyfriend. But ya know, I’m just the girlfriend…. Rolling my eyes

Post # 10
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Clove86:  that’s such good news!! Early congratulations to you because it sounds like it won’t be that much longer! Yay!!

Post # 11
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

Wishing you the best of luck! I’m in the same boat as you (someone, pass me a lifejacket!), so I know how painful and overwhelming it can get. 

Post # 12
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

SexyCatLady:  there’s pleanty more where they came from! Hopefully we all get what we want SOON! xoxo

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