Post # 1
I wrote part 1 about 2 months ago and you ladies gave me some great advice, especially since my own girlfriends are ALL single and don’t really get what I’m going through right now…
I am feeling really down right now. I am starting to feel like it’s never going to happen. He keeps saying he wants to get married, but he never moves forward with anything. Whenever I bring marriage up he gets agitated and says that I’m nagging. I didn’t want to be like that so I’ve been following Mr. Bee’s plan… I’ve been picking up more shifts at work, going out with friends, etc. I’ve even been spending long weekends up at my parent’s house and visiting them more often without him. And nothing. What drives me crazy is that HE first brought it up to ME in April! I was so happy. I felt like I had found someone who was on the same page as me. I felt like we were moving with our lives at the same speed.
In April he said he would like to get engaged in about a year. In August, he confirmed it. We agreed that although the proposal should be a complete surprise, I would have some input in the ring because I will be the one wearing it… Now we are coming on Feb. and we haven’t even talked about ring shopping. I don’t say a word about it and days become weeks and weeks become months.
I just can’t help feeling like I am wasting my time. Like we’re not on the same page that we were over the summer. We’ve been together for over 4.5 years and I just feel like I am ready to move forward with my life and he doesn’t want to. I feel there is nothing else I can say to him since whenever I say something he brushes me off or says I am nagging, but all I see are the months going by without any positive talk of moving forward. I’m sure I’m over reacting and that spending another weekend at my parent’s will help me cool off… But what’s the point when I know I will be coming back to repeat all these bad feelings until I leave again… and I just keep thinking that this is NOT how it is suppose to be!
Post # 3
I want to stay positive and say that perhaps he’s doing all of that to throw you off? If he wants it to be a total surprise, maybe he’s just toying with you? If something doesn’t happen soon, sit him down and have an adult conversation with him.
Post # 4
I really wish that was the case…. but if it is, he’s been throwing me off since August. Ever since then any marriage talks we’ve had were negative ones. I am just feeling so hopeless… it’s like he’s just not interested anymore. I tried to keep myself busy and get out the house more. And I stopped talking about it. That brought no results. And here I am, just sitting around waiting for a proposal that is never going to happen. I just keep asking myself, really K… how much longer are you willing to wait for this dude? 5 years? 6 years? 7 years? I’m not gettin’ any younger! 😉
Post # 5
Maybe try to talk to him without specifically mentioning getting engaged. For example, find out what his short-term goals are and how he feels about where he is in life. Maybe he’s not ready? I just think you need to figure out what you are willing to put up with and how long you are willing to wait. You should look closely at your relationship and see if you are truly happy and are getting everything YOU want out of it. You deserve to be happy! I’m not sure how old he is but it seems to me 4.5 years is enough time to figure out if you two are meant to be together. If he’s young, he may need to mature a bit still? I was in the same situation with a guy before and even though he bought a ring, he was too afraid to give it to me for over 7 months after being together for 5 years. I walked away and it was the best thing I could have done because I met the most perfect man for me. I am not saying you have to do the same but you need to do what’s best for you. Hope this helps!
Post # 6
I know how you feel darling and I know it isn’t easy. Boyfriend or Best Friend and I will be coming up on our 5 yr anniv in April and I am getting sooo anxious! Just hang in there a little longer..implement Mr.Bees plan..and hopefully he will come around and maybe you can suggest ring shopping while your already out at a mall (I think that would be easier..ya know,since your already out ;). If he said in April 2009 he wanted to get engaged in a year, then he technically still has 2-3 mos left until he is a liar 😉