- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
So I’ve been married for about a month and have recently been thinking back to the waiting.
My husband and I were together for 8 years before he proposed. Out of those, I was fine for 5 and waiting for 3. The first of those 3 I mentioned marriage just a few times to him and was basically patient. The last two years I was at times extremely depressed as friends around us got engaged and married, birthdays and anniversaries came and went with no proposal. Countless tears were shed, I did some stupid things to myself that are embarrassing to mention, basically hit one of my lowest lows ever. Through all this, I did know he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me. He wanted to get married but at an unspecified time in the future when he was “ready”. I’d never give him an ultimatum because I knew I’d never break up with him, even if we were never to get married. Finally, he proposed, I got a beautiful ring and we had an amazing wedding which I know he loved. I was (and am) happy, finally at peace.
The thing is, I’m still upset he put me through all of the pain of waiting so damn long. I can’t let it go. I know he isn’t sorry about it, he even feels that everything ended up perfectly so I shouldn’t have made a fuss for all that time. He’s been recently going through some tough things at work and I can tell he’s pretty depressed about it. I look at him and think that if I could take that pain away from him, I would. But he didn’t have it in him to do the same for me for 2 long years.
Looking for advice and thoughts from those who are or have been waiting for what feels like forever. Or maybe on how to forgive someone who isn’t sorry.