Post # 1
My BF and I have been together for over 2 years now, and we have had the talk several times about our future. He has the ring and has even shown it to me, but I don’t understand why he’s making me wait. I am starting to resent the fact that he’s making me wait for no reason. There have been perfect opportunities for him to propose but … nothing. I have read several of these posts and most advice that I see is to sit back and be patient and put a stupid smile on my face and just WAIT. Advice that under no circumstances, should you ever mention this to your BF as it may pressure him. I don’t want to pressure him but the waiting is horrible. In my opinion a marriage should be 50/50 and it shouldn’t be totally up to one person about how long to wait. I find that I am starting to resent the fact that this is eating me up and it is all totally up to him. I feel like if he really loved me why would me continue to let me go through having these feelings of anxiety and depression. He is a very traditional person so me taking the lead is totally out of the question. He tells me alot that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but actions speak louder than words. Does anyone else resent the situation and feel like they have no say in their relationship as far a when it moves forward? I love him with all my heart and would never leave him, but I’d love to know how to not let this consume me. Am I the only one that feels this way?
Post # 3
@beeeforeigocrazy: Welcome to the bee! I know exactly how you feel! My SO and I have had the talk… a year and a half ago! He’s had a ring… for a year! Then that ring turned out to be worthless (the jeweler scammed him!) and we found the ring I will wear… in November! Guys have a plan in their heads about how they want things to be before they propose… for my guy it’s about his job and living situation. For others it’s finishing school, finding a job, saving up for the ring, etc. My advice to you is focus on you, come up with a timeline that works for you (like I will not wait for a ring past my 30th Birthday or whatever) and then pick up a hobby, join a club, or start an exercise regime. That should help with the urges to start planning lol You should also have a talk with your SO, you could even tell him your walk date (I told my SO and he wasn’t thrilled but he understood why I felt that way) Good luck!
Post # 4
@beeeforeigocrazy: honey, he had the ring and you know it’s oming…. Let him do it his way. I was in your shoes a year ago and that’s the time I joined weddingbee… I know. its not like you don’t know his intentions, you know you will be engaged in no time 🙂
Post # 5
@beeeforeigocrazy: I usually get badgered and berated on here for it, but I agree. I dont think one side having control over the proposal is fair. If youre the type of girl who willingly ceeds control of your life to another more power to you but some of us aren’t like that. Waiting makes me much less enthusiastic about any type of wedding. The longer I wait the more likely i am to be like ok court house tomorrow! great!
I personally told my SO all of this because I am also honest to a fault. I hope he really understood me.
Post # 6
@subtlebee: I totally agree with you. After today things should be easier. We have no more anniversaries or birthdays or holidays coming up for a while for me to get my hopes up. I have decided to just take it one day at a time and I won’t discuss this with him anymore. He knows how I feel but I don’t need the carrot dangled in front of my face with comments about our future. If he isn’t going to do anything about it then it shouldn’t be brought up. He brings it up almost as much as i do, but still on every occasion that I think it might be coming, I end up disappointed. I’m only torturing myself.
Thank you for your response. It helps to know I’m not the only one out there who feels this way. Good Luck!!
Post # 7
I understand how easy it can be to be disappointed about him not proposing on various occassions. In the end, the ring is only a wedding though, not your relationship. You already have a future together, but rings are always nice 🙂