Post # 1
What say you?
Just had a conversation with a co-worker regarding wedding traditions and etiquette. She is an adorable social etiquette queen, I love it. So periodically, I ask her opinion on my wedding plans. She told me that historically, the wedding ceremony is for you and the reception is the party you throw your guests to thank them for witnessing your vows. I thought, hmmmm, that makes a lot of sense. A nice sentiment.
Fiance and I have no theme for our wedding other than we want our guests to have wonderful time. We don’t want to foist our tastes on them, but have a sense of personality. This has been our way of thinking all along. We want our reception to be a party that says thank you…wait, maybe that’s our theme?!
What say you? Is your reception all about the couple, all about the guests, or both? Are you doing the traditional route (garter/bouquet toss, first dance, etc)? Or no?
Post # 3
no way! sorry if this makes me sound bitchy, but the wedding is for us AND our guests. We aren’t doing garter/bouquet toss because there aren’t enough singles (and I felt that would be horribly awkward for the few there are!). We’re doing anniversary dance instead.
we are thinking of our party saying “thank you” in the way of good food, good music, and a candy buffet! but I’m not throwing myself under the bus for it. if people are mad about X, Y or Z, they can go home. LOL..sorry, I’m blunt. But still. In 20 years, who will the wedding matter more to – the guest who complained his roll was too hard, or the bride and groom celebrating their 20th anniversary?
Post # 4
@sorrycharlie: the guest who complained his roll was too hard, or …..
I just spit coffee on my keyboard, that was funny!
Post # 5
I very much agree with that sentiment. You host the reception for your guests and it does serve as a thank you for sharing in your ceremony and special day with you.
We had a pretty traditional reception (special dances, buffet, bouquet/garter toss, speaches, cake cutting, and lots of dancing). And there are certainly elemants of that that are still very B&G centered, but on the whole, the reception is for creating a good time and a thank you to your guests!
ETA: That does’t mean that the B&G aren’t supposed to enjoy themselves at the reception.
Post # 6
If this were the case, we would have eloped and had a much smaller reception at my parents’ place. It’s ALL for friends, family, and the couple.
Post # 7
@sorrycharlie: “We aren’t doing garter/bouquet toss because there aren’t enough singles (and I felt that would be horribly awkward for the few there are!).”
Hahaha. I’m totally imagining like two people awkwardly standing in the middle of the dance floor to catch one garter. Lol.
Post # 8
I agree with @sorrycharlie … The whole wedding is about you and your SO and yes the reception is kind of a thank you since your guests and yourselves can eat good food, your guest get free alcohol ( at some weddings ) and you all get to have a good time. It should not just be for them.
Post # 9
People still talk about the great time they had at my parents reception and that was 31 years ago! lol My cousins were in thier teens and they had a REALLY REALLY good time and there are pictures of them enjoying themselves! *hiccup* haha I so want people to remember having a great time at my wedding 30 years later!
Post # 10
@MissCallieJean: My parents’ wedding too! Wish I had been more than an unfertilized egg at that party!
Post # 11
@cyneswith: AGREED! I’m getting married for me, I’m having a wedding for my family.
Post # 12
To Fi and I it’s mostly for the guests as a thank you. We have changed our thinking ( and our date and venue and everything) because we got way in over our heads with the planning. When we took a step back and realized all we wanted to do was get married we then decided we wanted a reception where our family would be comfortable and enjoy themselves. But, that’s just our opinion. Our families like simple and fun and that’s what we are going now.
Post # 13
I would agree with you. As a many-time guest at weddings, the reception seems like it is for the guests to enjoy. I talk to the bride & groom for maybe 3 minutes, but want to give other guests time to talk as well. So when I’m not around them, I party it up. I also stand nicely and watch things like the cutting of the cake, first dances, etc. But for the most part, you want to make sure your guests are having fun. Who wants to go to a boring reception?
That being said, I’m still going to cater my reception towards the things I like. I’m also catering it towards the things I know my friends like. Hence having a DJ for some fun dancing. Having multiple cake flavors for everyone to enjoy (though my flavors are untraditional). Having a few food options so people aren’t starving, etc etc. I think you can make the reception about both you and your guests. Of course you have to make the final decisions, but there is nothing wrong with making other people happy in some accord.
Post # 14
@Miss Lilac: Oh yes… I was at my FSIL’s wedding and I was one of 3 “single” ladies. Although I was dating my Fiance (then BF), I felt like I had to go up there and at least participate. Strangely enough, I was bowed in the face because the Maid/Matron of Honor was hopelessly determined to catch the bouqet. Hello, there were only THREE people… you have a GREAT chance to catch it. Plus, I wasn’t even trying to catch that thing. Goodness!
Post # 15
I agree, at the reception my aim is to have a good time for all, not just for Fiance and me.
I’m selecting food and alcohol based on what I feel my guests would want.(I would LOVE to have Ethiopian food, but I know most of my guests wouldn’t eat it. We’re doing more traditional food instead that everyone will eat.)
I crossed a couple awesome venues off my list because they weren’t very accessible for older guests that have trouble getting around. One was an airline hanger with no air conditioning, which I didn’t think older guests could handle during the summer.
The guests are just that: our GUESTS for us to provide a good time to!
Post # 16
I’m a bad bride, I put myself before my guests. I hate to dance, and I knew people would try to drag me out there since I was the bride, so I just said no dancing. Even though I’m sure the guests would have loved it. But I didn’t want to be miserable at my wedding!