Post # 1
Hi bees! Thursday my fiancé cheated on me. I thought he did because of a long story I don’t want to type out on my phone but today it was confirmed. This is the first time he has cheated on me (that I know of) but there are other issues as well. Mainly that I don’t feel emotionally fulfilled. He seems to hurt me, then be apologetic, then when Im still on the subject he figures there is nothing he can say to change things so he shuts down and I’m left to fend my emotions for myself. I talked myself into believing that’s just how men are when it comes to emotions. But this. So completely disrespectful and such a complete disregard for me and my feelings.
Anyway, I’m ok. I like to look at it as if this was what I thought was ‘it’ (and obviously for the most part it was good), then what’s actually out there for me must be like heaven!!
But basically, besides venting, I wanted to know how I could word the notices that I need to send out to all of the STD receivers?
Post # 3
@Enamore: I’m so sorry this happened. But better he did it now than after you’re married. Not all men are like that, and I hope that one day you find one that will be there for you in every way possible.
As for the Save The Dates… if they’re already sent out, I would assign your family members to make some phone calls for you. Maybe mom calls guests #1-20, dad calls guests #21-40, etc. Because I personally wouldn’t wanna have to make those phone calls myself. Your family doesn’t have to go into any detail, they can just say that because of some personal reasons, the wedding has been postponed indefinitely, and to ignore the STD once it arrives.
Post # 4
Thank you! I actually don’t think it’s completely sunk in yet. But I like the ‘postponed’ wording.
Post # 5
@Enamore: Sorry you are having to deal with this. Do you have email addresses for most of your guests? Obviously you have their regular mail addresses.
I would send out an email or mail a small card and keep the message simple.
“I am sorry to have to share with you that the wedding is cancelled. Thanks for your understanding.”
Post # 6
@Enamore: Congrats on finding the strength to move on! I know how insanely hard that is.
While I would sent out the notice “Enamore (Lastname) will not be marrying the disgusting, hairy slimeball (Firstname Lastname) as planned on March 22nd, 2014. He turned out to be a dirty philanderer–though with such a tiny dick, the other woman was probably unaware of what was going on. Please disregard the Save the Date you received for their nuptials.”
But for real, I would probably mention it to your parents and a few friends, and let them spread the news!
Post # 8
@BrandNewBride: lmao!! I’m definitely going with that one!
Post # 9
@Enamore: send out save the date no more cards. Make light of of it. I know it’ll cost money, but just send out stdnm cards stating the wedding for now has been postponed and sorry for any invconvenience this has caused to anoyone. Those of you who care to know why will reach out to you. Those will typically be your best friends and closest family members.
I’m glad to hear you are doing okay knowing the circumstances. Cheating is a hard thing to work through. So even though you guys are not going through with the wedding, please know you have a place to come to and ask for advice when times get tough. 🙂
Post # 10
@BrandNewBride: LOL!! that would certainly be fun
OP – yea, I would just email them, if possible, but maybe I’m a chicken like that, and just say the wedding has been cancelled, thank you for your understanding. No need to explain further. *hugs*
Post # 11
I’m sorry this happened to you, but like others say, better to find out now! You’ll find someone who treats you like a princess! Hang in there, girl. We cancelled our wedding and didn’t bother to tell anyone but close friends and family. They’ll get the hint when they don’t get an invite.
Post # 12
I’m sorry that you are going through this.
Post # 13
I can’t remember where I read this, or who it was about, but this happened to someone else (I think it was an actress?) and she sent out notes to everyone she sent an STD to that read something like, “I thought we were getting married, but it turns out that I gave him the wrong finger.’ BOOM
Post # 14
@Enamore: Good for you for sticking up for yourself and being strong!!!
Post # 15
Oh I am so sorry this has happened, but like PPs have said – far better to find out now than after the wedding.I would try to e-mail as many people as possible and call the rest. I think you will find most folks will take it in stride – cancelled weddings are not uncommon. Most of all, stand your ground and be ubber nice to yourself!
Post # 16
Oh 🙁 this is going to be such a tough time for you, but believe me in (an unspecified length of) time you will realise what a massive favour he has done you, and what a speeding bullet you dodged.
Take time to be you again, listen to what your body and mind is telling you, if you want to veg out, do that, if you want to go for a jog, or eat icecream in your pyjamas, do it. If you just want to scream or cry…. let it go. I know it sounds cliched, but after my broken engagement I needed something else to think about and concentrate on. So start using the time you’re no long using to wash his stinky underpants (!) on yourself!
Sending you hugs and healing vibes.
And as for the STD withdrawal – it’s amazing how quickly word speads, use it to you advantage in this instance, and let others communicate what a jerk your ex-FI is