(Closed) The Weekend

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
297 posts
Helper bee

Honestly, I hate b*itching but I have had a trainwreck of a last week and I need a good vent.

I’ve been on vacation from work since Sunday.  I’m a store manager of a very busy grocery store so this vaca after the holidays is very very very much needed.  SO and I were very excited for vaca even though he had to work this week…simply because we would be able to catch some extra time together and I would be less stressed and less tense than I usually am, not to mention me being extremely excited to spend more time with my daughter who is not in school yet.  Yup…so we thought…

Monday morning he woke up with an absolutely miserable toothache.  It was so bad that he had to make an appt with an emergency dental clinic.  I had to drop of my daughter with my sister because I wasn’t about to bring her to a waiting room when I wasn’t sure how long we would be there.  Come to find out, SO needed a root canal and they had to make the appt for Tuesday because he needed to start to clear up an infection before they performed it.  2 hrs at the dentist office, plus still cranky SO on mild painkillers.  Tuesday and the root canal roll around.  At this appt. they told him that they needed him to come in on Wednesday for a consult with an oral surgeon because he had marks in his mouth that were tell-tale signs of mouth cancer.  WTF.  We were terrified.  Me and SO come home after the root canal, he’s all drugged up and drooly, and I pick up my daughter at my sisters yet again.  Wednesday was the consult…they told him he needed a biopsy.  Thursday we do not have to go to the dentist but both of us are worried and on edge about the cancer thing.  Friday rolls around and I have to bring him back to the dentist to get his post (2nd part of the root canal) and they tell him he needs to have a wisdom tooth removed before he can have the crown done.  Another WTF.  (Did I mention that the whole process here, even with dental insurance, cost him $2000??)  BUT, good news is they told him that the spots they were concerned about went away and they were no longer concerned about the mouth cancer.  (Yay!).  One would have thought that would have cheered SO up a tiny bit, but no.  Friday night when both of our kids were home, they started bickering (they’re 4 yr old girls…its normal) and he flipped.

It’s amazing how my perspective went from “Wow, I’m so glad I’m on vacation this week so I can help SO!  He’s in a lot of pain and I hope he doesn’t have mouth cancer.  I love showing him how good I can take care of him!” to “WTF, I wasted my vacation on carting my BOYFRIEND, not HUSBAND’s cranky ass around because he hasn’t gone to the dentist in 10 flippin years.” (obviously this latter thought formed after I found out he didnt have mouth cancer.) 

In retroscpect, I did love helping SO, and I know he needed me, but I am SPENT!  He’s laying down on the couch next to me right now watching football and I just want to start shaking him and yelling “Hello??  So can I have one day to do something that I’d like to do??”  I certainly didn’t get any quality time with him, and the quality time that I got with my daughter was sparse, and seeing my friends was out of the question as I used up my babysitting sources bringing him to the dentist. 

Ok.  I’m done!  Thank you!  🙂

Post # 4
7 posts

@phoenix718: I’m sorry to hear about your weekend! 🙁 I know how that feels…there’s always times when you’re really looking forward to something and it just didn’t turn out anything you expected and worst. I’m really sorry and I hope things will turn around for you soon. But after reading your story, I feel like I don’t have any right to complain. However, to answer the OP’s question, I have very good news to share…

So, a while back, SO had suggested going ring shopping again, but he’s caught the cold so when I mentioned it again, he asked if we could do that after he gets better. Of course I said sure that’s not a problem. So last night we were were at Walmart, and we were just walking past the jewelry section. I’m an opportunist so I thought maybe it was my chance to remind him about our ring shopping adventure that he had been promising me. I pointed out to him the rings at Walmart, and he just gave me a funny look like he would never get me the ring from Walmart..it was the kind of look like ‘my baby deserves better than that!’ which was great. It made me feel very special. What’s even better was when he put his arms around me, pulled me closer and told me “Don’t worry baby, I’ll get you the ring soon, we’ll get it next week, I promise!” All I could hear was NEXT WEEK???!!!! Of course, I tried to contain my emotions, trying not to go crazy about it and embarrass myself in front of him!!! LOL but next week???!!! We’ve been together almost 6 years (march would be our anniversary) and SO has always promised me we would get married, but of course we went through the phase where he’s not ready for years and we’ve had our timeline differences, but never have I felt like it is getting so closed and I’m so excited!!! SO had been promising me that we would get engaged by the end of 2010, but because his dad passed away the same year, he wanted to make it 2011 so he can feel like it’s a fresh start for us after all the family tragedy he had went thru. He lost his dad to cancer last year, and it was very a difficult time for him and both of us. So anyways, I’ve been trying really hard not to screw anything up….but it’s been so hard for the last 2 months because Christmas Day went by and nothing…I thought that maybe he told me not this year to throw me off so he could suprise me on Christmas Day, but no Xmas day went by and no proposal nothing, and then I was hoping but there’s still New Year’s Eve ………and still nothing no proposal!!! I guess I was really disappointed on New Year’s Eve..I mean we had a great time together, we stayed in and SO even chose to hang out with me instead even after his friends asked him to go out, so I felt really special and grateful for that, but it was still disappointing when I thought it would happen on NYE and it didn’t.  And then stupid me, got really emotional (maybe it was also because I was pmsing…on my period that day too) so I got really emotional and it was a big mistake but I brought it up to him…asked him if he got the ring…..and he said no….he said he’s been really busy with other stuff…not the answer I wanted to hear…then I was asking him…ok then when?? He said this January…..but didn’t tell me which date….so anyways, I think I’m one of those in that 3rd cycle of waiting…..i feel like it’s going to happen soon, and i’m really excited but at the same time the height of the excitement of knowing it’s going to happen soon can be really difficult…it’s been really difficult trying to contain my emotions!! i feel like it’s any day now……..and then it makes it even more difficult when SO mention next week!!! So i’m just excited…we’ve been together for so long that I don’t really care for a big surprise or anything….I just want to see SO propose to me already..and I’m so excited for that moment to come…..but for now…..i’m still waiting…

also, thanks for reading!!!

Post # 7
297 posts
Helper bee

@layla2011:  Fantastic news!


@armychica06:  He was great to me yesterday!  We had a really nice day together.  AND, there was some progress on the “waiting front”.  OK, so this is a little Too Much Information but since we haven’t made love in a week because of him not feeling well, in the heat of the moment last night, while we were making love, he blurted out “When we get married, we’re gonna have to hold off having sex for like 2 weeks, because this feels awesome!”  Yes, I know, it was in the heat of the moment but just hearing “When we get married” felt fantastic and made the entire hell-week worth it 🙂

Post # 8
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

My weekend was *awesome* as it was our anniversary and I finally got a legit timeline from him which was crazy because I’ve been ready for YEARS and he has been not even thinking about marriage.  He now has been thinking more about it “recently” and was able to say whether or not my deadline was a reasonable deadline for him, which it was — 8 months!  This is the 3rd deadline he’s agreed to (the first were jokes, but I count them because before he would NEVER even joke about marriage, it would be a groan in response, haha).  The first 2 deadlines were May and September of this year.  So technically he’s agreed to September/August twice!  I’m trying not to keep my hopes up, but I just had to share because our anniversary weekend was absolutely amazing.  We also had the best anniversary sex (sorry bout the Too Much Information but I don’t talk to my friends about sex since everyone is friends with my SO and it would be weird for them to know those things).  

You know, I don’t mind waiting now that there’s a deadline (even if he doesn’t exactly meet the deadline, as I don’t really expect him to, that’s just how he is).

@layla2011: I’m in kind of the same situation with just having our 6 yr anniversary only he’s never talked about marriage seriously before the past 2 weeks!  But I totally know what you’re talking about with the timelines not matching up.  It’s so nice to see an end, but still have to temper the emotions!  It was sooo hard not to start shrieking in excitement when he agreed to my timeline!

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