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Seriously, they do. And I have NO idea why, either. I'm nice to everybody. I don't walk around with a cheese eating grin on my face all day long (usually I'm in far away land....before the wedding, I was always thinking of that, and before and after that, usually thinking of school or something I have to do, etc) but I'm polite to everyone and have conversations with quite a few people, including other women. For the record, I've worked here for two and a half years.
But none of them like me. Most are polite, some (like the chick in my dept) are outright RUDE to me... she seriously hates me. The others don't include me in anything, like today, for instance. One of the admins had a birthday over the weekend. I talked to her for about 30 minutes on Monday, telling her happy birthday and she showed me the pics from her bday party which included about half of our office. I wasn't invited to the party. Okay, fine, that's no big deal... it wasn't during working hours. Then today, they all went to lunch for her birthday. No one invited me. They never do! I'm always excluded. I really, honestly, don't understand this. The only thing I can think that is different is that I'm the only one in my 30's. There is one girl who is 20, and they include her (her mother also works here) and everyone else is in their 40's and up.
Yesterday, someone mentioned the cake that the birthday girl had gotten, and I kind of jokingly said, "man, there was cake? Dang!" and laughed (because of course, no one included me in that either) and she was like, didn't so and so bring you any and I said no, she would never do that. She asked why, and I said, well, it's pretty obvious she doesn't like me and another admin near by said, no comment! And walked off. WTF? For the record, no one even acknowledged my birthday (our office manager puts a "Happy Birthday" sign on everyone's door when it's their birthday, so it's not like anyone didn't know).
Why are some women so weird? Everywhere else I've ever worked, I've always been very involved with my coworkers, and am still very good friends with many of them from past jobs. Here? I'm tolerated, I guess. I know it's silly and I should just be like, whatever... but it still really hurts my feelings because I just don't understand what their problem with me is! :(
Okay, I'm finished feeling sorry for myself. :/
Ugh I'm so sorry! I don't know why people are so crazy and mean sometimes!
Ew that's so obnoxious. I'm sure they are jealous of your awesomeness. But seriously, they sound like the kind of stupid petty women you wouldn't want to be friends with anyway. It probably feels crappy to be excluded but ultimately you probably don't want to spend time with them anyway. Some people are just haters.
Ew. Sound like a bunch of hens that you work with. :( Sorry they suck.
Oh my gosh! There are a few ladies at my work that HATE me too! I feel your pain!
It sucks for you, but even more for them because they are missing getting to know you for no apparent reason - their loss! I say, hang out with the men, they are way more simple! :)
See, that's precisely why I've never really gotten along with women very well. I've always had guys as friends instead. They tend to be a lot nicer, haha. I'm sorry you have to deal with that - that's seriously ridiculous!
that really sucks.. I don't know why women have to be so catty and mean to each other. I hope things get better 
Too bad it's work and you have to be all professional and junk.. I'd have to tell them a thing or two!
They sound like a bunch of stupid bias to me. I have some other nasties up my sleeve that I"ll raincloud their way for you =(
Okay-
I was in this same boat when I started my first job. There was one girl my age. I was 24 at the time. The rest were 40 and up. They would pick up the phone and call each other and whisper about lunch plans. Then get up and go eat without inviting me. I hadn't done anything because I had just started working there.
Then I realized something. I was the only one there who was pretty, thin and college educated. I learned that there was a rumor going around that I slept with the CEO to get my job. I didn't even interview with the man when I was hired. He wasn't even in the office for 2 weeks when I started there. So I quickly cleared that up.
I learned that you have to go for the Bell Cow. That is what who I call the leader of the pack. They are usually the ones who like to stir the pot. I'm sure you know who this is. What I did was started going to the Bell Cow and asking her if she needed anything from the vending machine that I was on my way and thought I'd ask. Or if I knew she had a lot of work to get done fast I would offer my help. Next thing before I knew it I was in the circle.
Funny thing is, the Bell Cow was fired a year later for drinking on the job. The other two women were brought under investigation for stealing $$ from the company. So no wonder why they didn't want me in their circle. I was the HR investigator!
Honestly, Layla, I feel you. One of the managers at my work haaaaates me (we had to have a meeting about it yesterday!) and honestly, I really think they're either jealous or insecure. You're gorgeous AND awesome AND smart AND well spoken, and that's a lethal combo in high school girl world,which is where these girls apparently live.
I'm sorry girl :(
I know how you feel. At my job, I had just graduated nursing school about 5 months ago and found a job right after graduating, and I feel the same way as you do. Most of the people there are rude to me and don't include me in anything. I think it's because I'm only 20 and no one takes me seriously because a lot of them are older. I've only made friends with maybe 1 or 2 people there even though I am always friendly to everyone and try to make conversation with everyone. I'm hoping with time it'll get better though. But in the mean time, it sucks!
I hate that people at work are so rude to you, you seem so sweet! I hope it gets better!
@vintage - OMG!! That's crazy! Well, it's complicated. Because there is one woman (my closest coworker) that just HATES me... I mean, doesn't even try to hide it, has said really nasty things to me, about me, etc. But none of those women talk to her either, they've told me they can't stand her. And they're really nice to my face... but I guess behind my back they talk about me too. Sigh. It's weird that I'm younger than them and lightyears more mature.
@vintage- LMAO @ bell cow
@layla- that really sucks. I'm sure its not about you though... all you can do is keep being nice.
@KM - awwww, you're so nice! Seriously, that was a really nice thing to say. I don't think it helps either, that I'm 32 and look like I'm 22... so either they associate me with being younger than I am or hate me for it.... I don't know.
It's just crappy, ya know? And try as I might, I can't NOT let it affect my self esteem, my mood, or my overall job satisifaction. I actually am quite depressed most of the time b/c I'm so miserable here on a daily basis. If I'm not being bullied by the evil one, I'm being excluded by my own department and the other women. I'm literally the only person that never has a lunch date. Not that it matters, but you know. No one ever asks.
That is a mayjah bummer ... I remember you saying a while back that your coworkers make fun of you for being skinny - could it be that they're jealous of you or something? Are they unhappy people in general? Unfortunately, people sometimes think that they'll feel better about themselves if they make someone else feel bad, it sucks. If it continues to bother you (it would me!), maybe you could single out the one that is the nicest and ask her what's up?
haha, the bell cow. I want to take the bell cow here and put a webcam facing her desk - Bessie probably logs 2 hours out of 8 actually sitting at her desk doing work. Or at least just sitting in her desk.
I don't know how these things get started, but I always pity the people that are always in the middle of these types of things. They probably don't have anything better or more interesting going on for them. I would say that I have been talked about negatively because I have a four year degree from a university. Because it isn't specifically something like IT certification in blah blah blah, the thought is that liberal arts curriculums (no specification on what you study) are "easy". I recognize it's jealousy, but it still makes me want to shake them.
Layla we need new jobs.
That really sucks! I'm sorry you're experiencing this! I know how bad it feels to be excluded or have people be mean to you openly.. It never ceases to amazing me how little regard most people have for other people's feelings. I saw most because honestly, it seems to be MOST people. *sigh* Anyways, hang in there & know that other people like you. Your stupid co-workers are just jealous (after all, you are a lot younger) and they need to grow up. Their petty ways are pathetic. I hate that kind of middle-school crap.
I dont have any advice but want to say how sorry I am that you are in that situation! I usually really enjoy my job and look forward to going to work and I cant imagine being in your situation. Are you the only one that is married? Maybe they are jealous? I guess my only advice is to keep doing what you are doing (being nice) and let it roll off your back. Maybe you can invite one or two of the girls you talk to to lunch and see how it goes?
This happened to my friend (a perfectly nice, genuine person). It all boiled down to jealousy. Why? Because she was 1) smart and 2)attractive.
The other women didn't like that and I guess saw her as threatening.
Why don't you just come out and ask one of them why they've been treating you this way? Say if it's something I did or said, I certainly didn't mean it, etc. Honestly, (without sounding harsh) what have you got to lose?
Working in an office full of women can be rough sometimes! While I've never experienced it at my workplace personally, I've seen it happen to a few girls who have come and gone here over the years. All I can tell you is that the girls getting hated on were younger, prettier, and thinner, and therefore the older, uglier, fatter ladies made themselves feel better by being nasty. That's all I have for ya...they're probably just unhappy themselves.
I don´t know how could anyone not like you, you are so cute, funny and honest... I wont guess why they are being awful to you (having some nasty women working with me as well), but just wanted to say I wish my coworkers were as nice and funny as you are : )
Yeah, I guess us women have a reputation for being that way... That is why my hubby hates working with women, I don´t blame him... Men are just generally more professional, aren´t they?
@ daniela.b - I agree with you. Men are easier to get along with in general, and most of the time they hate the catty bs that goes on in a group of women!
@ Layla - YEAH! You can come work with any of us :)
Hah! Bell Cow - that's awesome. I'm totally using that. I'm one of the few chicks in the office, it's mostly men and while I do get along with most people there's always gonna be a couple of people that suck. I work with a lot of gay men & around here the Bell Cow is a dude but I'm not alone in hating him so it's all good.
To be honest in "real life" I don't have that many chick friends, I grew up with bros & guy cousins and the more you see catty girl crap like this the more you realize… the reason guys think most chicks are crazy = because a lot of the time they ARE!
Chin up Layla - we all love you... and we can raise a bridal beat down if need be. ;)
ok not for nothin but some women are you know whats.. ive worked with females that i just couldnt stand but i was always nice to them because you never know. some people have a bad habit of judging others right off the bat without giving them a chance.. Ive learned that age differences dont mean anything sometimes, because ive worked with women twice my age and they are the coolest ever. it really just depends on the person themself. maybe they're jealous of you???? forget them, who needs people who dont have manners !!! but remember to kill them with kindness, when others are rude to you, if you let them see that it bothers you - they thrive off of it.. so just be nice and it'll probably bug them more than it bugs you haha 
Aw, that's really tough! I know how you feel, I am shy by nature and it's hard for me to just 'break in' when there are big cliques of women at work sites!
I've been on the other side of it, too, when I've seen my female friends turn on someone and make them a Black Sheep for no apparent reason. I think it's just some strange part of the female psych, that some women bond by excluding other women.
I would see if there are any women who are on the 'fringes' of the group - maybe not really wrapped up in the cliquishness - that you could connect with. You may not make any BFFs at work, but at least it'll make the day a little more pleasant if you have someone to chat with!
You could try inviting yourself... maybe they just need an opportunity to get to know you! Of course, that might not work at all. :(
That really sucks. It's hard to work somewhere where people actively dislike you.
Wow! I wonder...were they ALL working there before you? Maybe they're still stuck in that High School clique mentality? Girls can be really petty.
My advice is to just leave them be. I wouldn't want to be friends with them. As long as they don't talk to your boss about you, I'd just do the best job you can and hope that someday, they'll get over themselves.
I am in a very similar situation, although it doesn't appear to be as bad. I recently started (2 months ago) at my new job and the group I entered into have all been working here together for 3+years. They are also all best friends and hang out outside of work.
When my manager emailed me before my first day to say he wasn't going to be in the office, but to call a girl in my group, let's call her Jane, to let me in and show me around I was really worried. I did NOT want a girl greeting me on my first day if she wasn't my manager. This is because I know how catty girls can be. Sure enough, she didn't answer her phone so I was waiting down in the lobby. Jane finally came down and never made eye contact with me, didn't ask me anything about myself and quickly walked me around and of course hasn't spoken to me since. She is the ringleader of the social circle here and you better believe they go out to lunch, drinks, etc. together and totally ignore me. I never get invited. They have office IM so they don't need to whisper or call each other, all the sudden they're just gone and an hour later they come back laughing at some inside joke.
I also assume it has something to do with the fact that I'm college educated, thin, pretty and probably making a lot more $ than all of them. I also dress like I'm working at an office while they dress like they're going to the grocery store. It does hurt a little when they all leave together, but at the end of the day I'm motivated to one day get promoted and it's hard to do that when your manager sees you as part of the group like that, you have to stand out.
Oh, and just in case you were wondering I am also very nice to everyone too. I always say Hello and Good Morning. I also invited them to my New Year's party to be nice, everone but Jane replied back with at least a Thank you.
oh Layla, its simply because they are jealous because you are hilarious, gorgeous and have a great husband! Don't let them get you down!
I have the same problem at my job. No one likes me, really. No one goes out of their way to make conversation with me. And even though they celebrate EVERYONE ELSE's birthday with cake and a card, they don't acknowledge mine. It's not like I care, but I get damn sick of signing birthday cards for everyone when I know they just pass right over mine. Ugh, I hate working with a bunch of women who think they're still in high school! (And they're all over 40 accept for like two of them, who also don't like me for some reason.) Granted, I'm not super social with them, but this is WORK, not recess on the playground.
I'm so sorry girl! I know what you mean, though. Honestly...they're probably jealous because if you haven't given them any reason NOT to like you & plus, they probably gossip like crazy & you're smart enough to stay out of it. You're so likeable though, and fun! I don't understand women sometimes. I worked at a vet about a year ago & the women there were about 20 yrs older than me, but I seemed to have gotten along with them fine but THEN I got to know them! It was horrible! And before that I worked at Victorias Secret...ugh, talk about horrible!
Now I work with my family & YES it drives me crazy but at least there's no BS.
I'm sorry again you're having to deal with this! Just brush it off, who cares about them anyway?!?!
I know EXACTLY how you feel..... it makes no sense!!! I too am actively excluded from the women here - for absolutley no reason. I have never experienced it in any other job. I try to "ignore it" - and I can for the most part because I look forward to all the great things I have going on outside of work, and I am extremely blessed, but it can hard to ignore those feelings when you spend 9 hours a day somewhere, it's human nature! I hope the situation gets better!
Thank you all for the kind words and the advice! It really did make me feel better to realize that I'm not the only one feeling like this, and that this probably has nothing to do with a "reason" to dislike me, which is what I want so badly. It's just so sad and yes, it wears me down to no end. I feel like leaving here in tears almost every day and have horrible anxiety about coming in. :(
But - you're all right! I don't want them for friends anyway! What nasty people!!!
Thank you, bees! :)
Ok I just want to start off by saying, if you worked with me I would totally hang out with you and bring you breakfast on your birthday! lol
I know how that feel to an extent. I worked for a piping contractor at a silicon refinery and there was a lady and she HATED me. I mean like would go out of her way to watch me, if I went to the field or anything like that she was so quick to run and tell. Everyone else for the most part was great but this lady thought she ruled the roost as my grandma would put it and man o man I would get so annoyed when I was trying to do my job, which sometimes required me to go off site or into the field and she would rip my bosses ass about it, like he didnt already know. I would get so fed up sometimes that I would very audibly explain that I was going back to "chain myself to my office". She was just really 2 faced tho and everyone understood it wasnt me.
As for your "no comment" admin, ummm why would she even try to stir the pot like that? hmmm child play...
Sorry for you tho hun, I hate that your dealing with that, they obviously dont know you.
the situation totally sucks
Quick question do you like your job? is there anyway you can get the same job but somewhere else? or are you stuck?
Ive worked with people like that and I left after 6 months but got a better job anyway.
You spend the majority of your life at work, so dont forget that. Do what you need to do to make you happy! and not miserable!
I just wanted to send some *Hugs* your way! I'm sorry they're so mean to you!
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