The Worst Words (I need to vent)

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015



Sorry girl. That sound super disappointing….

He said the reasoning is he doesn’t know your family well enough. Has he made an effort to meet them and get to know them? How long have you been dating for?

I think its important to respect his opinion and how he is feeling. But if it were me, I would also be a little confused. He is marrying YOU, not your family. But family must be important to him if thats his true reasoning.

Post # 4
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I totally understand the feeling..I was hoping (still slightly slightly am..) that it will be by the end of the year for me. But about a week ago he said ” a ring is the last thing on my mind right now with everything else we have going on.” Yes we are buying a house, and that’s a big commitment and lots of money but I wish he would save/but it now before he has a mortgage to help pay and it will be even longer! 🙁 here’s to hoping we both get what we want and soon. 🙂

Post # 5
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@ArmyBeee:  I’m so sorry to hear that. I agree with highschoolhoneys. He is marrying you, not your family. However, if you haven’t been together long, he might be looking forward to marrying you but wants to do things the right way. If he is going to ask your parents’/dad’s blessing, I think that’s a pretty stressful moment for the guy and he wants to make sure that they know he will be a good husband to their daughter. 

Post # 7
3009 posts
Sugar bee

@ArmyBeee:  I think it’s kind of nonsense. He’s marrying you. As long as there’s no glaring issues it shouldn’t be an issue. I wonder what’s up. 

Post # 9
40 posts
  • Wedding: December 2014

what did you say to him? I think you need to say you need clarification and it is unfair to excite a girl like that

Post # 11
246 posts
Helper bee

Awwwwww…… he could have mentioned it back then when y’all started discussing marriage so that you’d have a better idea of the timeframe he’s got in mind. Like the good book says “expectation postponed is making the heart sick” (Prov. 13:12)

Well, at least you know his fears, so you can help him get to know them better, and vice-versa Smile

Post # 12
980 posts
Busy bee

That’s such a bummer. I’m sorry he pulled that on you. At least he let you know before December arrived. I’d definitely have another talk though and make sure that isn’t the only thing holding him back. 

Post # 13
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would make sure he gets what he wants.

I would start scheduling dinners, events etc to make sure he spends lots of time around my family. 

Ask him that he make contact with your mom or dad once a month via phone call just to say Hi and catch up. He is not going to stop feeling uncomfortable unless he puts himself out there.

If this is his hangup its no ones fault but his own for not making more of an effort to get to know your family. And if he is not willing to spend more time, call them etc then its just an excuse and not a reason.


Post # 14
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Is it at all possible that he is laying the groundwork to be able to genuinely surprise you when he does propose?

Post # 16
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ArmyBeee:  If you live close enough, make sure they get to know each other!  You can take your mom aside and tell her what’s up in a discreet way (because, duh, mom runs the family).  “Mom I want to guys to get to know each other better.  I really think he’s the one – we’ve been talking about marriage but he wants to make sure that you’re comfortable with him and he fits in our family first.”  They should appreciate that and make an effort, too. 

Even if you can only meet once a month you can make him sit next to you while you Skype them so he can just chat about what you’re doing this weekend – how much you love going to the cider mill, whatever. 

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