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it's normal to have those feelings...even if it's nothing what you want. i blame it on estrogen. =P
I agree, its totally normal to have those feelings. I don't know any woman that could say they've never at least compared their wedding to others they've attended. Sometimes you think yours is better, other times you don't. I've had that experience, and its not exactly jealousy, I'd say its envy. Everyone does have different tastes but my issue is having a different budget, I envy the people that don't have to think about their budget too often, if at all. I blame that on Platinum Weddings! :)
Because secretly, you do kinda wish you had ridiculous amounts of money to blow! Part of me is in awe because sometimes I think it's a waste (although I shouldn't judge, i can't help. I watch Platinum Weddings, too, and it's ridic!). But, I think everyone does feel like that. Money is a huge stressor for everybody. I can't fathom what having a huge income would be like to the point that I just don't have to worry about watching my money. The ability to be able to have whatever you want is a relatively envious quality. Even if you don't want a caviar and Louboutin event, it's nice to know that you are ABLE to and can have it I guess.
I agree. It would be nice to have that much money that you could afford to blow a ton on a wedding. Unfortunately, that is pretty difficult and I'm sure that your wedding will be the best for you because you aren't going to go into debt over it!
I agree that its normal....but your day will be absolutely perfect for you and the groom...AND everyone will have a blast! But I will say that everyone who has a fancy wedding doesnt go into debt for it---several of my friends parents are very well off and picked up the tab - others chose to have a relatively long engagement and save up for the things that they wanted....neither one is a bad thing
Totally normal. And I'm sure lots of us have gone through it too (I know I did when we booked our venue and I suddenly went "Acck! We're having a reception in a pub!" - then I remembered that I love it and it's totally us). Money makes us all a little crazy sometimes, peer pressure has stated that we should all be equal so when we see someone with a crazy expensive handbag and pair of shoes we want a pair as well - cause aren't we just as good as that person? And we work hard for that money, etc etc.
I only get venue envy when it's a really creative space, not when it's in a grand ballroom. I guess when I watch Platinum Weddings, I kind of barf in my mouth over the complete lack of taste or originality..
Money can't buy style.
I've had jealousy with a friend that got married before me. It's natural to have those feelings..but when I looked at the big picture and realized what all I have in front of me, I realized that I have no reason to be jealous. Those feelings will go away & you'll be happy with the venue that you've chosen :)
Ours is in a hall as well, at first i was not super thrilled because part of me wanted to have it in a ballroom but only because part of me didnt want to have to decorate much but i have a ton of great people to help make it our style.
i am very happy with our location. The one i had hoped for required 10,000 commitment in food only. uhh, ill pass, thanks.
Yeah, I'm with diorable, the fancy ballroom or country club thing doesn't do it for me in the least, but I can barely even look at Brooklyn Bride anymore because I get so jealous. I love what we are doing, but if I begged my parents for about $8000, I could have the real dream event. But I'm not gonna! Dignity, woman!
So, yeah, I get you.
I think it's totally normal to feel like that. I would just caution against assuming how much they're paying for the wedding. We found a venue that looks very exclusive and highbrow, but actually got a ridiculous deal on it (like cheaper than hotel would have been). We've heard some relatives get jealous and complain about how spoiled we are, and it's like, dude, don't judge - our wedding isn't that expensive!
I got venue envy for the first time this weekend watching - you guessed it - Platinum Weddings. It was some gorgeous bed and breakfasty place in Connecticut and they had this amazing ourdoor space and fall foliage and I wanted to get married in October originally but my friend snatched up the date I wanted so I had to reconceive my entire thing. But, yeah, I love my venue to itty bittys but that was the first time I had some serious venue envy. It's normal to want things you can't have. The problem is when you get them anyway because you have no self-restraint or forethought.
Ha, I'd like to be wealthy too, who wouldn't? :)
Just out of curiousity why did you phrase it as 'allow Mr. Tacos' to spend that much? It's your wedding so I'm guessing the two of you are deciding how much to spend together? Because another option might be that while you don't want Mr. Tacos to spend that much you wish he would offer because as a society we have this idea that offering to spend lots of money shows how much someone cares. I know that while I didn't want an expensive ring it was kind of a big deal to me that the FI was willing to spend a lot and I wouldn't have minded if he has wanted to spend more even though I'd have refused to buy it.
Ever notice how most of the weddings on Platinum Weddings are paid for by parents? In that case, I'm not too impressed. I honestly get more jealous of people who have a nicer apartment than us b/c that's something a little more tangible that affects our overall day-to-day quality of life. The wedding is one day and I think it's a waste to spend too much money on it.
Also, in order to get married at most clubs with high membership fees, you don't actually have to be a member. Nowadays more than ever. Membership and donations are way down, weddings are a huge way to bring in revenue. The NY chapter of the Women's Republican Club has been hounding me ever since I registered to join their club but with $700+/year membership fees I'm saying thanks but no thanks.
I ran into this yesterday. I was talking about my wedding with a girl in my church and she was saying how excited she was. And then she went on about this person that I semi-know and how AMAZING their wedding was. How is was just sooo high end and they spent HUGE amounts of money. Our wedding...is not even close. I would call our wedding humble. And I would NEVER want to spend the money that they did yet I was a little jealous. I think the media throws it in your face if you dont have this this and this then your wedding SUCKS! Which just isnt the case!
I feel the same way about really lavish weddings as I do about people sitting in first class on plane flights - on one hand, I'm a little envious of the extra legroom, fancy location, etc. But on the other, I can't help but think "SUCKAS - I get to the same place at the same time, and haven't wasted wads of cash to do it."
I think it's totally normal to feel the occasional pang of envy. We all regret what we can't have sometimes, and so long as it doesn't impact how you treat FBIL and his FI there's nothing wbout which to worry.
@ENTANGLED- its not about "SUCKAS - I get to the same place at the same time, and haven't wasted wads of cash to do it."---for some people its about the experience of getting there too. If they have the money to spend on these extravagant things, than so be it. Different people have different standards.
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I surprised myself this weekend after finding out FBIL is getting married in an uber-exclusive club. I'm talking 20K/year membership.
And then I got... jealous? I have no idea why. I would never allow Mr. Tacos to spend that amount of money on a venue. I would never dream or want it. Our venue, as it stands, will be in a banquet hall. It's nice, mind you, but it's not super fancy - especially important to me because I just want people to have fun. Our wedding is going to be splashed with oranges and fusia and purples... all sorts of colors, with multicultural elements everywhere.
So why am I almost slightly jealous? I don't want a caviar and Louboutin event.
Has anyone else gone through something similar?