- Miss. RubyLove
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
I need to vent!!!
A little background: I’m 30, been with my husband for 5 years, married one this month (yay!) and Im a full time step mom to a fabulous 11 year old (no biological kids but ttc). Since I 1st met them and moved in I immediately filled the void of a motherly influence. Everything from dinner, lunches, homework, conference, and swimming lessons….everything ~ and I’ve always been, for the most part happy with our situation. I have to admit I do get jealous (its hard to be a step-mom, specially when its full time but your ‘not his mom’!), I do have a tendency to get upset….and today is one of those days that I am upset….IRATE actually.
My step sons mom cheated when he was just two (she was 19), left them and in the divorce his dad got full custody. He sees her every other weekend………if she feels like it that is. She’s 28 and could be the most selfish individual I have EVER met. In the last 5 years, she has been re married twice (so that’s 3 marriages before 30!) has had multiple jobs, and has moved at least 9 times that I can count (one being in a garage that they couldn’t use the kitchen) she has paid a total of 3 child support payments in 9 years….which is suppose to be $94 a month. She has 1 shirt and 1 pair of pj bottoms at her house for him (last week sent home in her new husbands undies) oh and no shoes…..and atleast every other visit he gets sent to a sitter because “my mom went to a party” or “ my mom and insert male name went to a concert” (which REALLY pisses me off because she only has him 4 days a month, I mean come on!)
My husband has always been a great dad (obviously he fought for him in the divorce and raised him alone until I came into the picture), doesn’t talk bad about her to his son, never argues with her in front of him, and never really cared if she paid or if she denied seeing him a weekend (he’d rather have him full time anyways, and the least amount of contact with her as possible)
WELL here is my issue, She asked to have him on a weekend that is ours for a family reunion, we said sure because we didn’t have plans. Last night my step son received a call from his cousin asking if he could come to her b-day party, which falls on his mom’s weekend. He called her and asked if it was okay to stay with us that weekend and she said “NO” …no reason given…at all…. Then she proceeds to text and say that he is not old enough to decide where he want to be which weekend. He cried all night long.
….Step-moms PLEASE tell me how you deal with situations that our out of your control, How can a ‘mom’ be so ruthless? And selfish? Can I assume because she was so young? When do you think he’s old enough to choose? …what happens down the road when he’s a teen and doesn’t want to spend time with his parents, or gets a job? Or wants to play sports, or when we have a child and he has a little sibling and wants to stay home………
Ughhhhh, I’m just so upset, and the last thing I want to do is stoop to her level and not be accommodating