Post # 1
A girl I went to school with announced on facebook earlier that she’d booked her wedding. I ‘liked’ her post and replied with “Congratulations! Whereabouts are you getting married? And trust me when I say it’ll come around fast xx” Her response was “[town] registry office got three kids now [my name] cant do to fancy as long as were married thats all that counts whens yours ??? xx”
Trust me when I say that knowing this girl she intended that to be sarcastic and aimed directly at the fact that we’re having a wedding in a ‘venue’ (and presumably that because they’re having a small do for the sake of their family and we don’t have any children yet, their marriage will be worth more than ours). I thought I’d asked a fairly reasonable question! I realise that having 3 kids before you’re 23 is a significant financial strain, I never meant to insinuate that she had to be planning some kind of big do – there’s no need to justify yourself as to why you’re going to the reg office!
Post # 3
@clumsylawyer: doesn’t sound defensive to me?
Post # 4
You asked where she was getting married. She likely assumed that choice of venue was important to you. She was just telling you that it’s not important to her.
Post # 5
Maybe it’s defensive, maybe she’s sad about the lack of fanfare around her simple ceremony, maybe she’s super pumped but a low-key person, maybe she hates facebook…
Impossible to tell based on a 2 line reply.
Post # 6
I think it’s impossible to tell seeing as she doesn’t believe in grammar.
Post # 7
@KatyElle: Yeah, it probably doesn’t sound defensive if you don’t know her. I may even be reading too much into it, I’m just going from experience.
@julies1949: I hadn’t considered that, perhaps you’re right. It’s what I ask any of the girls from my home town who get engaged, simply because I’ve seen quite a number of the venues around there. I’ll know in future not to ask because I’m slightly concerned it’s got her hackles up (and definitely wasn’t intended to!).
Post # 8
@MissNoodles: Very true – I just wanted to rant, tbh.
@Chrysoberyl: This made me chuckle!
Post # 9
It doesn’t sound too defensive to me, but you know her better than us If she gets defensive over that minor of a comment, I’d drop the wedding chat with her! 🙂
Post # 10
I think it sounds defensive.
TBH I am sick of people saying they don’t care about where their wedding is/how much it costs, because all that matters is that they’re marying the love of their life; I don’t know, I always just think it sounds like a snarky dig at people spending more, especially as often it’s coupled with something like ‘we don’t need to spend lots of money to prove our love’.
If people want a small or budget wedding, that’s great; if others want to splash out and have all the ‘pomp and ceremony’, that’s also great.
So yeah, I read her comment as defensive; but maybe that’s because as a bigger budget bride in the UK, I’m a bit fed up of defensive/snarky comments.
Post # 11
@clumsylawyer: Girl I’m serious! There are no commas! I don’t know if it’s one sentence or 3! Don’t worry about it. I’d respond with “Oh gosh are you excited?? I’m excited for you!”
Post # 12
@barbie86: I got that a lot and there were times when it really upset me. It’s particularly ironic when a lot of the people who came out with that line on the forum where it was most prevalent were the ones unhappy in their relationship.
Post # 13
@abbie017: I’m definitely not going to broach the subject again! Safer not to.
@barbie86: I know exactly what you mean. I wouldn’t describe myself as a big budget bride, but we grew up in a pretty deprived area, so most people don’t have any resources so I’ve had crappy reactions from quite a lot of people about wedding spending (including from family members). I feel your pain!
@Chrysoberyl: You have no idea how often I have to bite my tongue when it comes to a lot of my old friends’ grammar, it drives me nuts. I asked if her girls are looking forward to it, which seems to have been safe territory!
@SpecialSundae: The joke’s on them because I always think it looks like you had such a wonderful time at your wedding, I love your photos!