Thesis due and I want to throw in the towel, but DH would be dissapointed

posted 2 years ago in College
Post # 2
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

MrsKay23Nov:  As someone who just graduated their Masters, DO IT. I know it seems like a pain in the ass. My supervisor once told me writing up was the hardest part, you’ve done the work and you know you know now you have to write a document to prove it. he also said that until you are sick of it and you feel like it was an easy study which means it isn’t worth as much, you aren’t ready to hand in. The theory is once you truly understand it, it looks easy which makes you feel it isn’t worth anything but that isn’t true, it just means you have now mastered the work and are ready to submit.

Push yourself to do minimum 4 hours a day on it. It will go faster than you think…

Post # 3
Member
3412 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Just do it. Get it done. You can’t quit now!

As for the depression, I would advise you to seek help ASAP. Is it reactive depression, due to the anxiety re the thesis? Or have you been diagnosed with clinical depression?

Post # 4
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

Oh, girl, I can TOTALLY related. I defended my dissertation for my Ph.D. about two years ago (but it feels like yesterday) and let me tell you, the final week or so was the hardest stretch for me. I just was so distracted. If it makes you feel any better, its 1:00 AM here and I am using this very thread to procrastinate finishing a report that is due at 8:00 AM tomorrow for my unpaid post doc position. When I really sat down to think about it, here is what I came up with (and am still coming up with, because it still happens that I hate the final stages of writing all of the time). 

If you are a grad student, you aren’t there because you just fell into it. You are smart, driven and, if you are anything like most of my colleagues, you are a perfectionist. For me, the last week was agony because I wanted the dang thing to be perfect and I knew that it wasn’t perfect. I also knew that once it was out of my hands, it was out there all alone, naked and exposed to my advisors, my peers, my colleagues, future colleagues and anyone else to critique. I wasn’t ready for that. My dissertation, after all of the work that I had poured into it, had become my baby. I loved it but I couldn’t wait for it to grow up and leave the nest. The only problem was that when it came down to the wire, I wasn’t ready for it to be out of my hands and out of my control. I couldn’t protect it (and myself) if I gave it over to someone else. There were so many times that I didn’t want to write another word. In the end, its worth it. Believe me. When you see the look on your parents face when you hand them a hardbound copy, its worth it. When you look out into the audience when you are being hooded to see your FI fighting back tears, it is worth it. And, on the bright side, if this is your first submission of the whole shabang, you will still have time to tweak it, to add in the critiques from your chairperson and all kinds of things. The name of the game now is to just get something on paper and to get it done. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I was always told that the best dissertations (or thesis, in your case) in the world is one that is done. Find a way to find your writing groove. In my case, I had to literally unplug my wireless router, sit down with my many liters of Diet Coke, spread out all of my material and shut out the world. It helps to have little goals, too. Before my first three chapters were due, my FI (then boyfriend) told me that I had to be at a place where I could take a break by 8:00 PM. Then he surprised me by taking me to go get hot chocolate and look at Christmas lights. I came back from that excursion more ready than ever to sit my bottom down and get the thing done. 🙂 Setting little goals is so helpful.

Every grad student that I have ever known (even post grad student) has a fantasy or two about quitting every once in a while. In fact, just yesterday I daydreamed on my way home about how the world would be if tomorrow I just took the day off. Burn out is not healthy, but I think that to some extent, it is normal. For me (the perfectionist) it is helpful to remind myself that my reports/work does not have to be a masterpiece right now. There is always time to tweak it. And then right before the final product is due I have to go through a process of letting it go. I think that this is totally normal.

I don’t know if this was at all helpful, but if I can leave you with anything, it is that you CAN do this. I encourage you to sit down and examine why you feel like you just don’t want to write another word and then to talk to someone about it. And as to your feelings of depression, I cannot encourage you enough to talk to someone about it. You have taken an excellent first step by posting here. Around the time that my dissertation was due for publishing, I worked with a therapist to really process my feelings. It was the best investment I have ever made in myself. If there is any way that I can continue to support you, please let me know. You are definitely not alone. (Now I’m off to take my own advice and to get this evaluation written and done!) 🙂  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

MrsKay23Nov:  Also, are you writing right now? I’m going to be up for a few more hours to finish this report. If you need an accountability partner tonight, I’m in! 😀

Post # 7
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

MrsKay23Nov:  You go, lady! You are going to kick some major thesis butt! Be sure to keep us posted so that we can celebrate with you! 

Post # 8
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee

MrsKay23Nov:  The last stretch is often the hardest,  but once it’s over, it’s over! You will be soooo relieved when you finish. 

Post # 9
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

Woop Woop! 3:36 AM and still going strong on this report here in California! Its the home stretch! I’m glad to see you still around and thesis-ing it up! Just two bees showing those word docs who the boss is. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I did an undergrad honors thesis (so smaller scale but still a pretty big project/paper) and I remember the last few days being the hardest. I’m starting my Masters thesis next semester and I’m definitely not excited for that part. But when I was finally done, I cried from happiness! You can do it! It will be worth it.

Post # 11
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

MrsKay23Nov:  You go girl 😀 I love to hear about women earning their Masters and PhDs, such a huge accomplishment!

Post # 12
Member
784 posts
Busy bee

You’re so close!! You can do it!! I just started my PhD program and am enjoying the little time I have left before that will be my life. Congrats!!!

Post # 13
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t give up, you’re in the home stretch! I had a similar breakdown before my thesis was due and seriously laid on the floor in my bathroom and sobbed for a half hour. It was oddly cathartic, and I banged that bad boy out and didn’t look back. Was it my finest piece of writing? Nope. But you owe it to yourself to finish. Good luck, I’m rooting for you!

Post # 14
Member
3699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Hahaha. I’m a PhD student now in my 4th year. I’ve been told multiple times by multiple people that if you don’t consider quitting at some point, you’re doing it wrong.

Post # 15
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

MrsKay23Nov:  How has the writing come along since yesterday? We’re rooting for you! You can do it!! Just keep thinking about that moment when you hand in the finished paper and it is out of your hands and no longer yours to worry about! Strive to reach that moment! We believe in you! 🙂

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