(Closed) They are making me want to pull my hair out…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow, I think your FI needs to have a conversation with her.  Since she isn’t paying for the wedding, she has no say in the planning (according to me anyway).

Post # 4
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Oh wow. Please go back and get the perfect dress that makes you feel amazing. That makes me incredibly sad.

That being said, I think that a sit down discussion with whomever is paying for this wedding is needed. It’s your future grandparents? Outline budgets, expected contributions from family members, perhaps breaking up the budget in a way together to figure it out? I mean, deciding together to spend X amount on flowers and then you find that.


I don’t know your FMIL but I would already be tempted to throw my hands up because there is drama this early on in the planning and say ” We are getting married here. Join us on this date or don’t” 

Post # 5
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m confused. Is she upset about the dress? Are your future grandparents-in-law now offering to pay for a wedding at home? What is going on, who has a problem, and what do you hope to get out of this?

Post # 6
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im confused – who is paying for the wedding, FMIL or FI’s grandparents????

either way get the dress you love and pay for it yourself. if someone asks about it you say it was a gift from (insert friend you can trust) or say it was $100 – you dont want to let your FMIL start ruling your life, once it starts you will have issues setting boundries



Post # 7
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

That is really uncalled for and unreasonable; Sometimes I wonder what expectations people have going into weddings; all I expect is that the couple is happy on their day.

Anyways I hope it works out and yes go back and get that dress!!!

Post # 8
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I say let your FMIL throw a fit over the dress. You are the one paying for it, right? It is NONE of her business how much it is. That is a great price on a wedding dress! You do not have to make any excuses, you’re the bride, you get to pick your dress and you’re paying for it. There should be no issue!

Post # 9
1325 posts
Bumble bee

@Bostonsmom: Yeah. That’s what I don’t get. Usually people don’t get a say in what they are not paying for. Usually the brides dress is included in that category, correct?

Hmm, perhaps she thinks the poster should purchase a cheaper dress, say for $500, and use that extra $300 for the good of the wedding to lesson the load on the future grand parents. If that’s the case, completely unreasonable without discussing it first.

I really can’t find any other logic for the FMIL behavior. Perhaps I didn’t try hard enough though. 

Post # 11
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

$800 is a great price for that dress.  Ms. Busybody is out of touch.

Post # 12
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I say get that DRESS!!

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