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I'm sorry to hear this! That's horrible. Do they give a reason as to why they are denying leave? If not, can you question them? Perhaps show them proof that this wedding has been planned and paid for for quite some time? I'm hoping there's a way around this. Please keep us updated.
I don't know much about the military, but did they explain why they denied leave? :(
@jamiemichelle: I am so so so so so sorry about this. Being an military wife, I know how much the military can make things so difficult. I'm going through my own crappy Army situation right now.
Please please PM me if you need to vent. I know we can't put too much information out there in cyberland, but if you need to talk, I'm here. I know how hard it is!
Something "came up" and there is going to be some high ranking people coming aruond in November to inspect the station which has sent his chief into a complete and total freak out. Don't know any real details.
But seriously... just a few days. Thats ALL we need... I will happily give up the honeymoon. The invitations have already been sent out and everything has been booked. This is definitely the worst thing that could have happened. I never even entertained the idea that they wouldn't let him off!!!!!!!!!
Aack, how awful! Well I don't know what your situation is, but from my experience it seems likely that you can at least get the day of the wedding off, even if that's it. Will he have to fly out to the wedding location? Maybe you can red eye him out there the night before and back (wah!) right after. It still sucks, but it's better than canceling and 11K wedding.
Awh, sweetie, I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better...just know that I am praying that a miracle does happen for you. Best wishes! <<hugs>>
Well, we live in North Carolina and the wedding is in Texas. So I suppose it may be possible, but it would sure be difficult! I'm hoping he can at least get the weekend off if nothing else. I mean geeze, seriously? That is all I keep saying to myself... they can't be freaking serious, right!? uuuuugh.
@jamiemichelle: Can you write your congressman about this? I know that they encourage both the serviceman/woman to go through their chain of command as well as family members, but I think this calls for intervention on this level since it sounds like the chain of command isn't being very reasonable about this. Plus, there's not a lot of time for the chain of comman to lollygag about.
@jamiemichelle: That happened to my FI a couple months ago. He had already submitted his leave chit for a few days (not for our wedding tho! I would die!) and they found out higher ups were comin to inspect their submarine and the officers freaked and wouldnt let him leave.
military.is.stupid. I am SO sorry this is happening. there must be SOMEONE he can talk to. Maybe he can go to someone above his chief? It'll all work out!
You, your FI, and family are definitely in my prayers!! Defintiely do what you can, faith without works...it will work out!!
I'm so sorry! The same thing happened to my friend only not as bad. They were planning a small wedding for March (a month before he was supposed to get deployed), they had the venue, flowers, DJ, invitations, just about everything. Then they got word that they were moving up the deployment and he would need to leave at the end up January, no other options. Luckily they were able to speak with vendors who agreed to move the wedding up to a Friday in January. They ended up not losing much money that way. I hope things work out for you!
@ldxparadox99
They are just so understaffed... it is insane. They HAVE to have a certain number of people or else they can't operate. They have a 0% morale level... this is definitely the worst station we've ever been to. After a year in a half he has gotten a grand total of 4 days of vacation.
But on the postive side they approved him for 2 days... He went up and talked to them and told him that I was pretty much in nervous breakdown mode. I 'm still bummed, but at least we get our wedding.
The military is so depressing, seriously. I don't think I'll ever get used to this lifestyle... Thank God we're DONE in 3 years.
I know it's not what you wanted, but I'm glad they allowed him 2 days!!! That's good, right? At least you don't have to try to reschedule the wedding!! :)
@jamiemichelle: I am so happy they gave you your 2 days...although, I agree, I wish you could have gotten what you really deserved. Yes, the military is so hard. I always tell my husband that they need to have training for the wives. lol I mean, the guys know how to deal with it and have it pounded into their skulls every day....but what about us gals? lol I am so with you on being done with the military. I have literally been counting down the days until my hubby is done and can move home (we're LDM right now). We were literally down to two months...TWO stinkin measley months. And we found out last week that they are med boarding him which at least will put him home 6-8 months later...and beings he might have to change his MOS for the National Guard, in a way, he'll be forced to re-enlist for another 3 years when original contract (pre medboard) was only 1 1/2 more years...So yeah, I feel your pain!
I guess the only thing you can do is be happy for the 2 days you have and also take pride in what your FI does...not a whole lot of guys out there can hack it. Also, you will be so much stronger at the end of the 3 years. I promise. I'm amazed and some of the BS I can put up with now...
One last thought. Did you purchase trip insurance for your honeymoon? If you did, why not just delay the honeymoon until he can get leave? That's what my DH and I are doing.
OMG-That is SOOO Hard!!! Do you have your wedding insured in case they change their mind again??? I would get some insurance immediately. Luckily though, I would guess that venues/vendors would be willing to do whatever they can for people in the Military, if/when plans suddenly change. I hope that everything works out! (((Hugs)))
I'm so sorry, but as others have said, at least he got the 2 days! I know it sucks but sometimes when things suck so badly ALL you can do is look for the "bright" side. :)
I grew up in a military family. My dad was in the Air Force, grandpa also in the Air Force.. my mom always sarcastically/bitterly said "Well I guess if the Air Force wants you to have a wife, they will issue you one!".. meaning that they didn't care one way or the other how decisions affected spouses.
@jamiemichelle: Your FI unit sounds like my FI unit...0 morale and they do very stupid things too... Denied leave for child custody hearing...can you believe that? Yup that happened to us. Crazy crazy! I am so sorry for this. I hope they will be able to work something out for him. Maybe he will have to go over some one head to get. I know that is a big no no in the military but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Good luck and best wishes to you.
I'm so glad that he got some leave! That's something... I'm so sorry you have to deal with this though. It could be worse though- my husband's friend's wedding was scheduled and arranged and then he got deployed to Afganistan, so there was no way they could give him leave for the wedding. Ick! Good luck with this!
Wow I am so sorry! Thrilled for you that they gave you 2 days - but I'm sorry it's not more!!!
I'm afraid I don't know much about military leave & commitment -- is there anything we can do? even for future bees out there? does it help to petition for a longer leave (so you can get the honeymoon you deserve!!) or does it help if we sent letters to congressmen, etc???
Maybe I'm naive to think signatures make it better...but I'm more than happy to sign something if it helps!
I'm so happy to hear that at least they gave him 2 days. Still sucks though, I can't even imagine. We're lucky because the base FI is stationed stationed at is really good about leave. I can't even imagine...
I really appreciate all of your support and loving comments... It makes me very happy to talk to a group of likeminded women who completely understand.
I can deal with the 2 days.. I just don't like the way that they go about things. It is so mentally stressful to have to deal with the fact that they don't ever want to give him time off... even for his own wedding.
I don't want to give the military a bad name; as msjellyfish said there are some stations that are very understanding. After a long discussion we decided that he should switch rates and I'm so excited to have him going to a 7- 3 job where he will be home every night and won't have to beg for time off. The crappy part is it takes a year to transfer.
Thanks again girls =)
YAY, he got the 2 days!!! I know it isn't a full resolution, but it's definitely something...CONGRATS!!
@jamiemichelle - glad things worked out for you! military life can be difficult, especially when you're trying to plan for the future & the future & plans can be unknown. i can completely empathize with you - my fiance is also military (and currently deployed). with this lifestyle, we have to unforunately 'roll with the punches' a little more than others.
on a separate note, while i'm happy to see a lot of happy & enthusiastic support, i find it a little offputting and people would say things like, [the] "military is stupid." call me sensitive, but maybe we can find some better ways to express ourselves with out offending others?
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I probably shouldn't mention too many details since it is the military, but basically my FI's leave was denied for our wedding. A wedding that has been in the works for a year. A wedding that has cost my parents $11k. A wedding that his command knew about...
What the F*ck am I going to do? I literally feel like laying down and dying at this point. My parents are a wreck, FI is a wreck and I am beyond a wreck. He is going to try to work out a deal with them for just a few days and my parents are going to take our honeymoon for us. I need prayers.. and a miricle.