Post # 1
I mean we KNOW the girl, she is the sister of one of the Groomsmen. But we wrote 2 seats have been reserved in your honor and they crossed out 2 and wrote in 3. We had room so we said ok, but now the only way I can fit her in is if she gets a seat at a table with random rowdy guys whom she has never met. ( We thinks they aren’t her cup of tea) Should I um…care? She is an adult in her 30’s and will be no where near ANYone she knows…is this just the way the cookie crumbles? She wasn’t even invited but should I add a WHOLE other table to accomodate my “guest”?
Post # 3
@Angelz_love: they didnt feel bad about crossing out the number that was specified on their invite so dont feel bad about seating her where necessary. its only for dinner anyway. They should consider themselves lucky they got away with that because I would have nipped that in the bud immediately! you are kinder than I! My fear would be, having room or not, if I do this for them I have to do it for whoever else may do this and that can get out of control real quick. So my advice is to draw the line at accepting the extra person, dont take it a step further and do anything extra. People are really unbelievable sometimes! I am not looking forward to this part of planning btw….
Post # 4
You shouldn’t care because the recipient of the invitation showed blatant disregard for your set guest list…if I were in your shoes, I would have put my foot down and said that you didn’t have room, but now you’re in a pickle because you said she can go. :-/ You should seat her with her family.
Post # 5
@Angelz_love: i can’t believe someone would invite extra people. i think if she’s an adult she can sit at a table with strangers. if she feels a bit outcast, perhaps then she will realize this is what happens when she comes to something she’s not actually invited to. i wouldn’t make a whole new table just because she’s coming. adding new tables costs money, linens, decor, etc.
Post # 6
I think if you verbally told them she could come, you’re kind of obligated to seat her with her family. Yes, it was rude of them to add her in, but you should have stood your ground then instead of putting her at a different table now.
Post # 7
Sigh. This couple was completely incorrect for inviting an additional guest when you did not invite her. You could have politely called them to inform them of their unfortunate misunderstanding and clearly explained that you just could not accommodate an extra guest.
However, you, unfortunately, have already told this couple that it is “OK” for them to bring their adult daughter with them to the wedding. Given that, as a gracious host, you really should not attempt to seat her at a table where she will know no one else. Even if you do, what would stop a couple that crossed out a “2” and instead responded with “3” from taking a chair and place setting from an adjacent table an adding it to their table to accommodate their extra guest?
If you don’t put them at the same table, this family likely will do it for you, while inconveniencing other guests in the process.
Post # 8
I totally agree that she should be seated wherever you can find room for her – don’t stress yourself about making a whole other table for an uninvited guest. That being said, if they were rude enough to invite her in the first place, be prepared for the possiblity of them moving her to their table regardless of where you have her seated.
Post # 9
Hmmmm…while my first instinct is to say screw it. The truth is, you let them do it so now you have to accommodate that guest. If you are having 5 foot rounds you can fit up to 10 guests at each. Not ideal, but I would do it in this one instance as opposed to adding a totally new table or sticking her where she doesn’t belong and may be uncomfortable. It’s not her fault her parents added her to their invite, she shouldn’t have to pay the price.
Post # 10
My Fiance called the Groomsmen and the Groomsmen chuckled and said, “I’ll call them and tell them what’s up” My Fiance responded with “it’s cool man”. That was it. I TOTALLY think they would pull an extra seat and squeeze her in…only because they crossed out a 2 and wrote in a 3. Oh and she lives with them, which me and my Fiance did not know. I BELIEVE ettiquite ( from what I have read in Wedding Bee posts) says If you send an invitation to a household it should go to ALL adults. That’s why I said well we didn’t know but ok. There seems to be 2 opposite views on this…I’m gonna add a poll! Adding a table would cost us way too much $!!
Post # 11
I don’t believe you have to invite all the adults in a household at all. If you wanted to invite her, you would have sent her her own invitation. As an adult, she would not be listed on her parents’ even though they live together.
Post # 12
You should put her where there is room. If they want her there that badly, then she can sit where there is room. It blows my mind that someone would do that! Who adds their adult child to an invite!?!
Post # 13
if shes one of the groomsman’s sister and a couple that you inviteds daughter i don’t see why you didn’t invite her in the first place? obviously you invited the whole family and her brother is a groomsmen so why exclude her.. i don’t get it.
Post # 14
@Princess bee: I’m not inviting my BM’s siblings, even though some of their parents are getting invites. Even though I grew up basically living at their houses and am inviting their parents, I never spent time around their siblings. We’re also not inviting a GM’s sister because we just don’t know her at all, but we are inviting his parents because Fiance is close to them.
Just giving an example, it’s not necessarily a faux pas if the OP doesn’t know the girl.
Post # 15
I think it’s rude that they crossed it out and put 3. She’s lucky you are nice enough to let her come, so she should sit wherever you put her.
Post # 16
I am [almost] completely in agreement with those who say put her where there’s room. However, I worry that you’re technically punishing her by putting her at another table as if she was the culprit here. Her mother probably did it and she has no idea that she wasn’t invited in the first place.
…I also didn’t think of it but PP’s are right when they say they obviously have no regard for you and probably would try to squeeze her in at their table despite being told the seating arrangements.