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Since I am young (21) and my fiance is older than me (28) when we were first engaged people would round about ask me if I was getting married for his money. That pissed me off so bad.
Now, I have a couple of friends who are my age who are married with a baby, and struggling financially a bit. They always make snide remarks about me being able to have a wedding and a nice engagement ring when they don't. It is not my fault, and I do not flaunt anything around them. I wish they would not make me feel guilty about having a nice wedding.
@GirlWithaRing Gaaaah!!! More attacks of the "real"!!!
@tbk041710 Sorry about all the haters! They're just jealous, but of course you already know that. :-(
The haters are what get me too.
We had a rather large wedding b/c we made a fabulous deal with our reception site. Basically, he could hold 325 people, and told me that if I brought 275, I could fill the room for the price of having 275. So, we knew at least 275 would be coming, so we invited away. Around 300 came, and everytime I mention that to anyone, I get the snide, "must be nice to have that size wedding," or the "I don't even know 300 people...did you invite that many just to get the gifts?" No! I was just very lucky to be able to invite who I wanted to invite for a very good price.
My comment came from my FIL, and my jaw dropped after I found out that he called my parents & left them a VM asking "why arn't you paying for the wedding, don't you know that the bride's family is supposed to pay for the wedding."
I was speachless........
My husbands sister got engaged a few weeks after our wedding. A member of their extended family said to her "well, whatever you do, don't have the wedding in a tent".
We had our wedding in a tent.
OMG!!
I am still in waiting but these stories are HILARIOUS!!
I hope i dont run into any of these! You girls are fiesty and I LOVE IT!
@LittlestBirds, I think your MIL and my MIL would get along fabulously!!
My FMIL and FI's aunt are convinced that I am a tightwad because I prefer homemade things to purchased things. Dear Auntie sent FMIL an email saying "Has anyone seen any of Appleblossom's DIY projects? I just want to know if they're any good or if we'll have to replace them." And FMIL forwarded it to me!! If I can knit, sew, quilt and scrapbook, I think I can handle a few DIY items. Thanks anyway.
Omg these are great! Im a lurker and had to break out to make a comment...
Im still waiting and been with my BF for 3 years...I didnt introduce my BF to my parents until almost a year of dating. Well my OWN mother informed my BF , mind you this is the first time they met... that I was not getting married or having babies...awkward silence.
It was so ridiculous that I started laughing. Soooo not true and BF knows that!
He now understands why I waited a year to introduce him to my mother...
Last time this went around I honestly souldn't think of anything, unfortunately it's happened to me too! :P
I met up with some of my high school friends for dinner a few weeks ago and there was a girl I had never met before. My friend turns to her and says "This is Drea, she's getting married". The girl then turns to me and says "marriage is for quitters" and walks away.
Ummm, okay?? I really wish I had thought of something witty to say at the time, but I was just too taken aback. My friend, on the other hand, got a friendly punch in the shoulder for setting me up for that.
lol sounds like a lot of you have mothers like mine! My mom said when we first got engaged that we should just have a small wedding and save the money for a house...im guessing she meant go downtown and get married at the court house? Just not me...i know some girls do but its not me. So heres the point Im getting to....this was fine at the start of our engagement to say but then she said it again about a month ago..."See you should have just saved for a house then deal with all this" HELLO its 4 months to our wedding!
I'll play - the 2nd shop I went into looking for a gown, I had a rancid saleswoman. She was rude, she basically called my older mother "grandma", and she ate while helping us. My mom and I kinda liked one dress & as we talked about it she told me that no, I looked "horrid" in it & to take it off. I When I tried one dress, it fit for the most part but the zipper wouldn't close all the way - without me saying anything, her comment (as she patted my hips) was "Oh, don't worry most brides lose weight anyway just get off the couch & lay off the food a little". Now, I know I'm like a size 10-12 and I know I can lose a little but are you serious?!? Needless to say I won't be buying my gown from her.
(Oh & I'm in the Crazy-Mom crew too. Maybe our Moms have their own board & meet ups? LOL)
Wow these are crazy!! Mine would have to be when my FMIL asked me for a copy of the guest list. I gave her a copy and she TOTALLY FLIPPED out. She was fuming because I didn't invite her friends from the Moose Lodge (where she bartends). Mind you, this would be an additional 50-75 people and none of whom FI and I even know. I might not have a problem with it if she offered to pay for some portion of our wedding or even for those guests, but she isn't. She then went on to flip about how many people from my FI's step-mothers family are invited. Mind you, FFIL is paying for ALOT of things (cake, DJ, photog, lighting, rehearsal dinner, etc.) and FSMIL is baking like a thousand cookies for the cookie table. I just kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything about it. I let FI handle that one!! Fast forward two weeks, I get a call from FMIL informing me that I need to change my wedding date because FI's grandmother has set up to go on a non-refundable cruise the weekend of our wedding. Mind you, we have been engaged for almost a year when this happened and his grandmother was told the date multiple times and got a save the date 6 months prior!! When I told FMIL that there was absolutely no way I could change the date she flipped on me and told me how rude and inconsiderate I was! This last part is the icing on the cake! She called me and FI two days ago to inform us that she's engaged and will be having a destination wedding the weekend after ours, when she knows we will be on our honeymoon!! Can't wait til the wedding is over!!
I went the untraditional route with my dress and got a short one (knee-length). Before I purchased it, I sent a picture to my mom of my dress (I pretty much knew it was the one for me), and her exact words were, "I don't care for that at all."
I bought it anyway, and to this day, I think she's disappointed she didn't get to see her daughter in a traditional gown on the wedding day, but I also think she was wise enough to not let it bother her.
When I first heard that comment, though, I was definitely taken aback. Especially since she knew I was seriously considering buying it!
Well, my cousin asked me if I was getting married because I was pregnant.
And when I so much as mentioned wanting a non-white wedding dress, my mom asked me if I was still a virgin. It ticked me off because I had taken a vow at 13 to wait until marriage, of my own choice. Nobody forced me to do so, and she was there when it happened.
I had a great one a while ago.
FH and I have quite a large age gap between us (16 years). An actor who I was working with asked how old I was and how old FH is and then said "Well, you must be very sure" and then turned to another woman in the conversation and went on with "or just stupid". I was like, um, I'm still here. I can still hear you. D'oh!
Back story: My mother ended up having open heart surgery at the beginning of July after they discovered blockages during a routine checkup at the end of June. My mother has multiple sclerosis and depression among other problems. Anyway...
We got engaged on July 22. My mom was still in the hospital but in a recovery/assisted living capacity. I called her to tell her the good news -- she gets teary and says "I'm so happy ... [pause] ... I have a hernia."
She always knows just what to say, especially when the attention is anywhere other than on her! That was it.
Wow -- these are crazy. We get a lot of "why are you having such a long engagement?? Just get married and have baaaaaaaaaabies!!!"
BTW, they're never thrilled when I tell them that my uterus is on lock down until we get a handle on my student loan debt.
Last night one of my best friends said that she'll believe that we're getting engaged when she sees it. Excuse me? I wrote my own post about it, but I still can't believe she said that!
First Post! Thought this would be a good place to start. 
Sorry it's long!
I emailed a friend of mine a picture of my dress and shoes. I'm wearing flip flops. They're white and although I'm not having an outdoor wedding, I LOVE flip flops. Most ppl know this about me. I hate heels and just wouldn't feel comfortable in them. I had actually said to her in the email to lie if she didn't like the it because I was just showing her what I bought and didn't need to know if she liked it or not! So, she was very excited about the dress and wrote back letting me know that she didn't have to lie bc she loved the dress but she would NEVER burst my bubble like that anyway, etc.... Then a minute or two later, I get an email that says this "the shoes. Are you really going to walk down the isle in flip flops? Did you really order them". I replied that yes, I have the shoes and like them and of course would be much more comfortable in them. She replies again with "I just hope they don't show when you walk." Talk about bursting a bubble! Jeez!
Also, on a side note, My FH Aunt(by marriage) keeps telling him to not rush in to anything even though we're engaged and the date's been set. She doesn't like me. But that's alright. I don't like her much either!
I think sometimes ppl just can't stand to see ppl happy bc they're not happy in their own lives. I don't think they do it intentionally and will blame it on "I'm trying to help you" but it just comes off as insensitive, rude and selfish. These ppl taint the wedding planning experience (for me at least). Hopefully I'll be able to laugh about some of this stuff one day!
hltruax -- That woman is awful awful awful. I am so glad for you and your FI's family that his dad sounds like a wonderful person who has found someone else who is not a psycho.
I am glad to read other peoples' mom/FMIL troubles. Sometimes it feels lonely in the wedding planning world because I pretty much have no family support on my side.
And DW v "Real Wedding" just omg wow.
I have a good one...Im marrying into a very large mexican catholic family (they arent super mexican, and arent good catholics either!). at a large family event, when everyone was there, one of his aunts was asking about our wedding plans. Keep in mind, im the first girl to marry into the family in generations (they have lots of daughters)!! so needless to say, im major compitition. someone was complimenting me on my impecable taste (mainly becuase im not from ho-dunk land, im from california), and his grandmother sticks her 5-foot-nothing head in teh conversation and say,
"I plan all the weddings in this family."
ummmm, yeah, not any more you dont!
@ Amaryllis: I know right!! It's so frustrating sometimes!!! FFIL is awesome and so his his wife but FMIL and I...I can't see us ever having any kind of relationship...FI barely has one with her. I totally get where you're coming from with your mom...i guarantee that FMIL comes to the wedding and is either sick, in pain, etc. and she will probably talk about her wedding the entire time. I've actually gotten very used to it (which is sad to say) but atleast I can tolerate it now. It used to cause some problems between FI and I but now I just ignore it. If she hasn't changed in the past three years, she's never going to.
Wow! Crazy things that people say!!!
mine was when we were shopping for MOB/MOG dresses both mothers and my Grandma... haaa.
Background info: my FMIL is very skinny and my mom is a full figured woman :)
And she is losing weight and I am so happy for her!!
But anyway.. we we in one store and there were like 5 clerks helping the 3 of them. . (which really bugs me cause I like space when shopping) and the lady helping FMIL would not shut up about how thin FMIL was and how she coun't believe she was the mother of the groom... bla bla bla.
On top of all the comments she kept bringing her really skimpy clubbing dresses to try on!!! and my mom is right there trying on all the little old lady dresses that some other clerk was bringing her.. I was sweating from anger!! lol.
I could tell that my mom was feeling bad. and it sucked! Then while I was waiting for them to all change, I tried on a cute jacket over my shirt and the clerk says to me... "This isn't about you!" ... your right but I can have some fun...and you don't have to assume that I am selfish.. so rude!
FMIL and g-ma bought dresses but my mom and I went back weeks later and the clerk that was helping my FMIL remembered us and said "oh right, I remember you.. and your FMIL was here too.. right?" ... then she says something (joking) about my her being a skinny b%@()* and I was shocked! Was she trying to make my mom feel better?
We were not impressed.
Also, something I am sick of hearing is everyones jokes about what they are wearing to the wedding. . . when ever all the parents get together they joke about dressing weird. . like my mom wearing her running shoes... or FFIL and my dad wearing top hats. Its just getting old.
wow this was long! oops.. this was kind of a vent too I guess. lol. sorry!
hltruax -- That is exactly what I am expecting from my mom (and possibly sister, who is sadly following in her footsteps I've concluded), too! I mean, I know that the wedding is really only super important to the bride and groom and is just another day/attention for other people, but show some respect. When my FI started dating, I "warned" him about my mother. After he met her, he didn't understand -- she's just an eccentric old lady to most people (she's 65), and they tend to pity her because of the aforementioned health problems. And she likes it that way. It's easy to think that when you only see her twice a year. When all this was going on with the surgery this summer, we went to the hospital to see her, and she was ridiculous. She was positively horrible to us, and then, he understood! My mom, your FMIL, these women are emotionally abusive, really, and it's sad and often painful to deal with them. If I could not invite her to the wedding at all, I would, but that would just do more harm than good.
maybe Im being a little sensitive today, but @clairdarling, what does "they arent super mexican" mean? I hate when people say things like that...it has such an underlining note of racisim. Im sure you didnt mean it that way, but to minorities, when people say "she's black, but not black, black", they are basically saying "your different than all of the rest of those horrible black people". Just keep that in mind...especially since you will be marrying into this family.
also - you probably shouldnt refer to their native country as "ho-dunk" land. Just a thought...
My story is about my FI's grandmother. When she heard we were engaged she called to ask what our date was and to make sure we didn't schedule over her anniversiary party she was throwing for herself. Not a single congrats or anything from her.
Hubs and I went to the same middle and high school, so we know a lot of the same people. We ran into a friend in Home Depot one day and told him about us getting married (we were about 6 months out at the time). His first questions (and quite a common one from people in this area) was, "Are you pregnant?" My answer was a dirty look and , "Yeah he asked me a year and a half ago to marry him cuz I was pregnant, the baby just doesn't want to come out!"
He looked at me for a minute and just laughed and said, "Oh, cuz that's what I did!"
At least he married her after he knocked her up... 
@ Amaryllis: They are very emotionally abusive. FMIL talks to FI like a dog. She calls him every name in the book and is very mean to him. I get extremely upset when she does it in front of our son. I don't even know what I would do if my own mother said some of the things to me that FMIL says to FI. I would be crushed. She was never there for FI growing up (always at the bar, stayed out all night, etc.) I've known FI since middle school and we lived down the street from one another. My mom used to invite him over for dinner every night because he lived on Ramen noodles for most of his life. He had to clean the house, wash his and FMIL's clothes, get up for school by himself, find rides from friends (FMIL doesn't drive or have a car), make his own breakfast, lunch, and dinner, from the time he was about 8 years old. I feel sooo bad for FI. FMIL had my FI when she was 17 and constantally tells him that he was a mistake. I wish he had a mother that was loving and caring like mine, but he doesn't. I think that's why he has such an awesome relationship with my mom and his step-mom because he never really had a loving caring motherly figure in his life and my mom is VERY caring, loving, supportive, etc. Which is yet another thing that sets FMIL off. I don't hate her (I try not to hate anyone) but I strongly dislike her for the way she treats and has treated my FI throughout his life. I feel so bad for you and your relationship with your mother. I've seen first hand how it can really scar someone emotionally. ((((hugs))))
Oh God..I have so many. My mother told me, "Well, don't have kids because a divorce is much easier without them." That is a direct quote. She's also said things along the lines of I'll be a bad mother (I'm not planning on kids right now..give me 5 years, and maybe my decision will have changed).
Also, I was at a "gathering" last summer (I'm the DD for my friends, and they call their parties gatherings) and this drunk girl started talking to me about the ring I had on my finger. It wasn't my e-ring, it was a little promise ring. She starts telling me about how all marriages fail, especially ones where the girl is young, and that I just shouldn't do it. She was engaged once and was all "Yeah, good luck with that. Don't come crying to me when y'all break up." My response? "Hi I'm Catherine, I don't think we've been introduced."
Seriously..some people
My future in-laws' extended family is all pretty Christian, while my FI and I are non-theists. We decided to have a woman who is ordained in the Zen Buddhist tradition officiate our wedding. His family got wind, and at a family gathering one asked me, "So who's the Buddhist?" I replied with her name and that she was from Harrisburg. The reply: "It's a woman?!?" LOL
Aside from that, my grandmother insisted that I should have my bridal shower outside. Nah, no thanks. And also invited my old German teacher and his wife to the wedding with no prior clearance from me (which she wouldn't have gotten - seriously, my GERMAN TEACHER?? WTF?).
Well, a good friend of mine from university came to me at a party. She was quite drunk. The last weeks she had had a flirt with a not-so-good-looking but extraordinary nice and loving guy from school. In order to justify herself she started going on about how she couldn't understand that "a good-looking girl such you can really be marrying such an ordinary guy".... Well, she had to call her parents to pick her up (she's 24) later that evening, and I expect that she's quite embarassed with herself - or at least, I hope so!
Dizzy -- ouch. I just don't understand how some people can be so horrible to their own children.
hltruaz -- Yeah, she should be friends with my mom. I was also a mistake, though my mom was 41 when I was born. I also had to do all the cooking and cleaning, etc. because my mom either physically couldn't or wouldn't get off the couch. She also doesn't drive. I used to go to school and instead of a goodbye she'd say something like "Maybe I'll kill myself while you're gone today." Ugh. I got her to go to therapy, but she remains unbearable. If I so much as politely disagree with her I am "purposefully saying nasty things to hurt her." Then, when I don't include her, sometimes other people who don't know the situation will be like "I can't believe you ignore your own mother"... yeah, cuz if I don't, I'll go insane, too!
@JamaicaBride: Several friends have said that about my ring as well. It can't get any more real than it already is!
@Dizzy: My mother tells me not to have kids, because they are too expensive & she never wants to babysit (we don't want her to either). Sigh.
The MIL's daily mantra is "Well, you two are not really married, because there has not been a wedding party. Don't get pregnant." This is after we've told her numerous times - we eloped and there will be NO wedding party.
@Amaryllis - your mom, from your description, reminds me of Tony Soprano's mom from the Sopranos series. Have you seen it? She was always saying "I hope God takes me now!" whenever people were angry with her. That's good that you got her to go to therapy though!
@ monkeygin Ugh!! Don't you hate that? My mom does that too -- a civil ceremony means "well, you're not really married." That drives me INSANE!
Wow, I'm loving this thread! It helps to hear what other people are going through, because compared to some of you I've gotten off very easy.
Although that might change as it gets closer to the wedding. :)
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