They won't notice we're not there..

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@orchidaloha:  Oy.  I’d have a loud fake phone conversation with a “cousin” who is upset that someone no-showed and cost them ALLLLL that money on food they weren’t there to eat. 

Post # 4
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@orchidaloha:  Your wedding will never be as important to someone else as it is to you. I would have sent a decline to begin with (and I mark everything on my calendar because I can’t depend on my brain), but I don’t give gifts for weddings I don’t attend either. Not sure if that’s “bad” but I don’t really care 😛 Etiquette queens can yell at me, but at least I have the $300 in the bank. My own life and savings are a lot more important to me, so if I decline a wedding it is usually because I don’t want to spend the money. However, even I wouldn’t accept an invite and then not go at the last minute (I will assume people would notice us because we are loud and Russian :P).

 

Post # 6
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Certainly not very nice to rsvp yes, then pull a no-show.

But, I do understand that things happen and it’s usually best not to call the bride the closer it gets to her wedding [as it will stress her out more].

 

Post # 7
Member
1712 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsPanda99:  I disagree. You can’t RSVP “yes” and then not attend unless there’s an emergency. It’s just not cool. And if you end up not going after having RSVP’ed yes, then you damn well better send a nice gift to make up for it (in addition to calling to explain the situation).

Post # 8
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@phillybride61513:  Oh, I meant that if I RSVP “no” then I do not send a gift (as in, I said no right from the start). I wouldn’t RSVP “yes” and then not go (unless there was a death, a work emergency, or something that was more important to me that came up).

I figured a lot of people would disagree, but I don’t go into debt for anyone. If I RSVP no, then that means no and I am not buying a gift for something I didn’t attend. We are both self-employed, so if I say no that means I don’t have money I want to spend at that time – so I don’t. And if people don’t like it, unfortunately that’s too bad because my and my FI’s needs come first to me, always.

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@jenilynevette:  I have heard that before – it is better not to call because the bride has enough to deal with. I might make a call to the bride’s mother or something just so I told someone in case the bride noticed my absence. I would feel very guilty :- I never RSVP “yes” unless I am as absolutely sure as I can be (obviously no one can control emergencies).

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