Post # 1
I’ll try to keep this short 🙂
Some background: Fiance has a cousin with a gf (happens to have the same name as me, we’ll use “Jane”) who lives out of state. They’re a bit younger than us, and she’s been pressuring him to propose, even beore Fiance and I got engaged. So much so that her bf’s mom told her to tone it down. Her bf’s mom wouldn’t even call to let them know that we had gotten engaged because she was afraid she’d start pressuring him all over again.
Fiance and I got engaged back in June, and we’re planning a wedding in July, which we’re both so excited for! In October we got a call that his cousin is now engaged, AND they’re expecting (anyone else suspect what I do?). I found out today that they’re getting married in May…so she’ll be Mrs. Jane Casanova first.
I’m trying to be gracious and understand that they’re probably just as eager to get married, especially with a baby on the way….but I’m still a bit irked by the situation. Obviously I would never make a huge deal about it, but I figure weddingbee is the perfect place to vent! Would you be annoyed if someone got your new name first?
Post # 3
Uhhh so your getting annoyed over the fact she will have the same name FIRST?! Im sorry but that just seems a little juvenile? Sorry to be harsh…
Post # 4
aaww im sorry.. but dont worry.. im sure you will wear the name very differently.. maybe even better?!!
Post # 5
Sorry too, but this just does NOT seem like that big of a deal. She’s got a baby on the way and wants to get married. I doubt she’s trying to steal your thunder, or your name for that matter. You’re going to have the same name regardless…who cares who “gets” it first?
Post # 6
Yeah, I would probably be a bit irked too, if I were changing my name. Am I right in assuming that they live in a different state? If so, you’re the first local “Mrs. Jane Casanova” – does that help? 🙂
ETA: The OP said that she’s not going to make a big deal out of it, but that it bothered her a little. Cut her some slack – this is a place to vent about things that we might normally never bring up!!!
Post # 7
You could always just formally keep your middle name, middle initial, or maiden name as a part of your name. That way you won’t have the same name.
Post # 8
Osakagrl – I posted something here to VENT – I didn’t expect to be called juvenile. I’m also a bit annoyed over the whole situation. I didnt say I was mad or upset….I said I was irked, a little annoyed.
Whenever I post a response to someone I try my hardest to be supportive and try to understand exactly where they’re coming from. It seems this site is getting harsher and harsher….
Post # 9
I wasnt meaning to be harsh, maybe I should have kept my opinion to myself. but I just see no big deal AT ALL about her having the name first… sorry. I dont really think thats being harsh…its being realistic
Post # 10
thats hard…i know that when my brother got married to a jennifer, it was wierd having two jennifer hampshires running around and kind of confusing when it came to mail (everything got forwarded everywhere when both of us were moving here and there). but i got used to it. i never thought of it negatively but it was kind of strange to deal with.
but i’m happy to have her in the family, and so the name doesn’t really matter. mine will be changing anyway in just a few months.
what i’m saying really, is that it may seem like a big deal now, but i really think you’ll come to terms with it in the near future. hang in there!
Post # 11
if it makes you feel better, the girl sounds nuts. Maybe she’ll even have a Jane Cassanova Jr before you know it.
Post # 12
Jenn – you made me think. Maybe it’s not so much that she’ll have the same name, but that it sounds like she’s not the OP’s favorite person… I’m pretty sure that it would bother me to have to share my name with someone I didn’t respect.
Post # 13
I dont think you should be upset with her getting the name first– either way its her name too and you both are going to end up with the same name for the long run.
Husbands sister’s name is the same – let say “Suzie” and everyone knows her alot by her maiden name bc she’s married, and then remarried, so she has in the last 5 years had to go back to her maiden name before remarrying her dream man and taking on another last name. And everythough now that she’s married, they still think of her as “Suzie Johnson”, and now married to her brother I am now “Suzie Johnson” – but she tells everyone that I’m the new and improved “Suzie Johnson”- it’s cute
Post # 14
I can understand how you might be a bit annoyed by this. My cousin was suppose to get married 3 months after me. Well they got pregnant and they moved the wedding up to 3 weeks before me. At first it didnt’ bother me until comments were made that I just DON’T understand what it is like to be a bride. (She called me to vent about the order of who would get their hair done first, she was second to last and the bride should go first, I was just trying to calm her down). Instead got told that I’ve never been a bride and just don’t get it. Excuse me??
So yeah, I get that you’d be annoyed by it
as for the name change thing… don’t worry it is a cousin and more then likely in a few years you’ll only see them a handful of times a year. So it won’t be a problem with people confusing you.
Post # 15
if it makes you feel any better, my grandpa had 2 brothers who had the same name (their hebrew names were different, but the english names that they went by were the same. seriously: brothers named ben and benjamin. brothers! with the same last name! seriously!). and my bridesmaid has a first cousin who has the same name as her. people can tell the difference between the two. it all works out! 🙂
Post # 16
I agree with Rockstrgn in that I think it wouldn’t irk the OP very much had they had a great relationship. Unfortunately Miss Cassanova, there is not much you can do other than altering your name but I wouldn’t do it because of her.
@Osakagirl – we like to hear differing opinions. I just think the word “juvenile” may have gone a teensie too far and what got the OP a little upset. No need to keep your opinions to yourself. That is not what the WB is about. Just wording things differently prevents people from feeling attacked.