Thing you miss the most about 'just dating' your now DH *just for fun*

posted 11 months ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
2510 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We’re anniversary date twins~ Only I got married in 2008! 

The only thing I miss is him trying to impress me. We used to go out to such fabulous romantic dinners when we were dating, and he’d go out of his way to surprise me with beautiful jewelry, flowers, or handbags for my birthday and our anniversary… I miss those things! But relationships are ever-evolving and our priorities have shifted more towards things like homeownership and parenthood.  

Post # 3
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I just miss dating! He used to find new places for us to try, and we had a standing weekly trivia date. These dates would also always end with super passionate kisses that don’t happen as often as I’d like them to anymore 😉

Post # 4
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

We were semi long distance (about an hour or so away) while I was in college. I would live for Friday’s when I’d come home and we could spend the weekend together. I also miss the waiting stage. I know a lot of women hate it, but I found it thrilling to be at that stage knowing that everything was about to change and just not knowing when. 

Post # 5
Member
4062 posts
Honey bee

We dated for 10 years before marriage and have been married for 3 years. I don’t really miss anything about dating because life didn’t change drastically for us. We had lived together for 7 years before getting married too, so it wasn’t much different. I much prefer married life though because of the financial, legal and social benefits that come along with it. 

However, thinking way back to when we first started dating though, I loved that he would write me hand written letters once a week. It was generally about his day, what was going on and things he looked forward to doing on the weekend together. I would write him back as well. I still have most of the letters he gave me and it makes me blush when I read them. So I guess I miss  that. I asked him if he would start writing letters again and he gave me a very strange look.

Post # 6
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Embassy suites Hotel

libellules :  yes girl! Why does that change? I don’t get it. Now going out to eat is a date… lol 

 

Post # 7
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think it’s easy to take living together and each other for granted. When we had to meet in the middle of about 30-40 miles apart, it felt so special to have a couple hours or an overnight together. We made time and it was worth the drive even if just for a couple hours together. Made me feel special and loved!  

I had to edit this because, sadly, nostalgia made me realize I miss more than I usually think about, and it started to turn resentful.  It’s a good reminder for me to think about what he might miss these days, too, though! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
4488 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Hun…I don’t mean to de-rail your thread, but please look — truly look — at your marriage.  I’m not trying to be mean or target you or anything, but your last post was disturbing and I am genuinely worried about you.  That’s all I will say.

Post # 9
Member
219 posts
Helper bee

ljm308 :  Thanks for editing. Editing my comment as well now. 

I miss the excitement of sleeping over each other’s places. It was always something to look forward to in our earlier stages of dating. It would always be so romantic and fun. Now we just fight over the covers and who is taking up too much of the bed! Lol

Post # 10
Member
1027 posts
Bumble bee

After your last thread, this one makes me so sad to read. 🙁 I too am worried. If you find yourself looking backward and thinking that the past was a better time for your relationship, I think it’s a good idea to take a very hard look at the present. We are all rooting for you and want you to be happy and healthy.

Onto the nostalgia: I loved when my husband would sleep over while we were dating. We were taking it pretty slow at first so nothing serious happened, but I looooved snuggling up close to him and smelling the way he smelled–comforting and spicy and clean. It was just nice having his arms around me and feeling safe and cared for next to him. I still love snuggling up close.

Post # 11
Member
7657 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I didn’t put 2 and 2 together about OP’s posts until the PP pointed it out. It doesn’t really sound like “just for fun.” We can reminisce, but we can never go back exactly to the way things were. In a healthy relationship, looking back is fun, but living for the present and looking towards the future are even better. 

When we were just dating, I ran and biked longer distances. Now I’m not out for as long because I want to spend time with DH. 

Post # 12
Member
3722 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I miss the adrenaline rush of the beginning… And spending the entire weekend in bed eating and watching Netflix and not having any chores around the house to distract us from each other. 

That said- I would never go back. What we have now is literally what I always dreampt of but never thought I would find. 

OP- I really hope this is part of you processing that something in this relationship is broken. I wish nothing but the best for you. 

Post # 13
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

It was definitely super exciting at the beginning. Long romantic walks to the car and goodnight kisses. I loved how right before we started dating he couldn’t keep his eyes off of me. Strangely though, I don’t miss much from dating. We both didn’t like the fact that we had to go home separately at the end of the day. Now I just get to spend more time with him and no commute needed to see each other! 

Post # 14
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I miss the carelessness we had being young and dumb. Spending ridiculous amount of money on restaurants. 

Post # 15
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Old Lake County Courthouse

Nothing because we still have date nights as a married couple. He is still romantic, thoughtful, and creative with them too. 

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