Post # 1
I’ve borrowed this from someone else, but it’s very therapeutic 🙂
What are something you really wish you could say to people about your wedding, but can’t?
Bridesmaid – I love you, but you need to learn that I have a budget I intend to stick too. Also, I don’t care how fashionable and trendy it is, I don’t care how good you would look in it, you are NOT wearing an ivory dress. I am!
Best man – get out of my house! (He’s been staying with us since he got made redundant. Over 2 months later, still here.) Playing WOW does not constitute job hunting! Get a move on! You also need to learn we have a budget!
Bridesmaid’s mother – you get zero say in our wedding! I do not want to have a blue theme just because you love that colour. And your daughter is not wearing an ivory dress, so stop asking!
FI’s grandmother – yes, we are having a Scottish wedding. That is because I am Scottish and we live in Edinburgh. There will not be heaps of tartan and thistles like there was at FI’s cousins wedding. (You should have seen this, it was so bad!!) This is not a repeat of their wedding, no matter how much you want it to be. It does not need to be fancier than theirs was. And yes, we are not getting married in a church, yes, we are fine with that.
And breathe! Feel good to let all these things out! Hope I didn’t sound like a complete bridezilla, usually a very calm person 🙂
Post # 3
It is nice to let it all out once in a while. I don’t have any wedding stressors left but…
To DH: Please please please check the load of laundry BEFORE you toss it into the washing machine. I understand you are tying to be helpful but I really loved that dress you ruined 🙁 (it was the dress I wore after our reception was over and we went out for an afterparty)
Post # 4
Dear XXX: You agreed to be in our wedding years ago, we agreed to a budget, we stuck to it. You show up the day of, I give you money on our wedding day. You gave no card no nothing. You claim to be so poor… however you and your “boyfriend” constantly vacation, go out, and spend like it’s going out of style. Really?
Dear XXX: How dare you drop out of my wedding the day after we had a conversation about me finishing our programs? You were the best man… and you didn’t bother to lift a finger. You epic failed on my hubby’s batchelor party, you failed to be a good host while he stayed there. How could you go without TP for three days? Gross! You lost a priceless family airloom that my grandma trusted you to deliver… and you refuse to look for it. I could punch you…
Post # 5
This is not about wedding but:
You know I had knee surgery two weeks ago and am not recovering as well as expected. Why would you not so much as spend one minute on a text message expressing care, much lesaa a phone call or card. I know my son is updating you and that makes it more hurtful.
Post # 6
To the OP: The Best Man thing you can and should say! Or at least your fiance should. It’s one thing to put him for a couple of nights while he finds somewhere else to live. But 2 months… it’s way past time to kick him out.
Post # 7
Well we are already married but I would love love love to say to my bridemaid: I gave you EIGHT months to find a dress – I told you i’d pay for it AND I bought you a lovely dress in case you couldn’t find something that you preferred. I can’t believe you rocked up to our wedding reception wearing what you did. You looked like an absolute tramp and it was nowhere near anything like what I specifically requested. All i said was ivory, beige, nude, mushroom or cream, you could have chosen a million dresses, that colour was Everywhere in July. You showed up in a Denim dress that barely covered your ass and it wasn’t even new. I saw a photo of you in it a Month earlier. On top of skankifying our bridal table, you didn’t even get a card, let alone a gift. I gave you so much more credit than that.
Oh and bailing on my hens party after 30 minutes to go driving around with some stupid boy you hardly know – you have a f**king boyfriend! – not cool. You still owe Shannon money for that stripper she organised, even though she wasn’t even a BM. You should also say thanks for doin all the sh!t you failed to.
I would also like to say, to certain brides: I know your so called ‘surprise’ proposal is full sh!t. You fed that scenario to your SO word for word so he’d get it right for that perfectly positioned camera.
And breathe 🙂
Post # 8
Dear FSIL: You are an idiot. How dare you go on for months about how you guys were expecting money for your wedding, and when we gave you 350$ you didn’t even send us a personalized card. a WALLET SIZED picture? REALLY? without even our names, or a real thank you? ELEVEN MONTHS AFTER YOUR WEDDING? give me a break.
Dear FMIL: You will not win. This is not about you. This is not YOUR DAY. This is OUR day. as in your son, and me. I don’t know who you are to think that you get to decide how formal our wedding will be. I don’t know who you think you are that you would go and buy a freaking gown with a train when we said it would be SEMIformal, and when my mom had not yet even looked for dresses… and this was mere weeks after we went lookingtogether and you said it was too soon! You’ve been the MOTB, give my mom a chance! you do NOT get to demand open bar. you do NOT get to demand more guests than my parents (when my parents are paying) just NO. NO TO EVERYTHING YOU ASK. NO.
Dear BM: YOU SUCK as a friend, and instead of making lame excuses for everything just say “sorry I’m not interested” instead of feeding everyone BS and hurting me/dragging it all out longer than necessary. THIS SHIT is why you were demoted from MOH, and to be honest if it weren’t for my dad I would have fired you all together because you are not worth my time or the stress/
Post # 9
Dear bridal party- Sorry I’m not sorry but I do expect you to do more than just show up the day of- otherwise you’d just be a guest- don’t care what etiquette says. I won’t go zilla, but don’t be horrified if I need to call and vent about guest lists.
College pals- Stop assuming you are invited. It is a wedding not a reunion/kegger.
You know who you are- We have barely spoken in the past two years just be greatful I gave you one of our limited plus ones and shut up already. Why would you be in the wedding party? This isn’t the you show- and you did try and pull this ish at our other friend’s wedding last year.
In-laws- yes, you are devout your way. My parents are devout in their denomination. We gotta compromise. That means no cathedral. Stop suggesting it but acting like you’re making the compromise but not using your specific priest.
Wow..that actually was theraputic. Thanks : )
Post # 10
Dear Best Men, You are both assholes. You have had 10 months to plan something for FH and you did literally nothing. You bought him beer and sat at your house for 2 days. You are selfish and you do not deserve FH’s friendship. And as for you (the 2nd one his BROTHER) you are lazy and your brother got the brains in your family…and your girlfriend has the social skills of a rock.
Dear Future Cousin in Law, I will NOT be attending your baby shower which is the day after my wedding. Deal with it.
Post # 11
Dear parents of kids at work-
You are bad parents.
Dear entitled hipster brat at the bus stop-
I’m glad you missed the bus, because you suck. Everyone is going to class, yelling at the driver because you have class does not mean you get a spot on the bus when it’s full. You can take your beige knee-highs and chunky booties and walk your ass to class like everyone else.
Post # 12
ooh this looks like it could be fun…ok where to begin…
Dear dad – no I don’t want to go the the orthodox church and get married by the priest there. I am an atheist and so are 99% of the guests that will be attending. Also they don’t speak serbian so you will be the only guest there who speaks the language oh and you don’t even go to church so STOP bringing the church up and agruing with me about it. Also I will get the big white puffy dress because its my wedding day….I’m not getting a yellow dress I can wear again *face meets palm*
Dear Mom – no I’m not getting married in the church, I’m not playing that crazy wild african music at my reception, no one will understand the meaning behind it and I’m pretty sure there would be a lot of horrified looks. Please keep your comments about my appearance to yourself (“your skin is awful better start working on that now…ugh) Also I know you missed out on a nice wedding but please stop being immature and demanding my MIL not be involved in the dress shopping….I don’t need fights with my in laws thanks…
Dear MIL – Please respect my boundaries and don’t be over baring. I don’t need 5 lists of what to do before the wedding..I’m perfectly capable of searching the internet for these lists and printing them up myself. Your son has done NOTHING in regards to planning but I HAVE so please let me plan.
Dear FI – really? really? your going to knock my ideas and then weeks later bring them up, say they are a good idea (when your mom says its a good idea OF COURSE) and then gloss over the fact ur turned me down the month before because it wasn’t good enough then; so now I have to revist everything and put twice as much work into things because you were too lazy to figure this out earlier….oh and BTW yes venues are booked a year to a year and a half in advance…get over it and get off your ass.
Yikes…its a year out and I’m honestly dreading dealing with my crazy family. I anticipate fights and I really can’t wait until its all over with.
Post # 13
Oh fun! Ok, I’m going to be pretty mean…
MIL: You are passive agressive. You are soooo obvious. Why do passive agressive people think they’re fooling anyone? I see what you’re doing. Just because you’re smiling, unconvincingly I might add, doesn’t mean that you’re not being a bitch. Grow some balls and learn how to handle a strong, educated woman who doesn’t think she’s “lucky” just because she managed to find a husband. I get it. You feel threatend by my mom. I understand that my husband is VERY close to her and that she’s my best friend. That should be a good thing. I understand that you are territorial and don’t like other women. I also understand that I am the exact opposite of you and that can’t feel good. I’m sure you were hoping that your son would marry a clone of you. He didn’t. Please accept it. Also, you’re really ignorant. Please read a book or watch the news. Get some friends who aren’t ONLY white, christian, suburban midwesterners. Maybe then you won’t be so threatend by my mom and me. Thank you.
FIL: You are passive agressive as well. You’re also incredibly sexist and narcissistic. Please stop eye fucking my female friends and family members. It’s creepy. You’re not smart. You’re not zen. You’re superficial. Just because you read The Power of Now doesn’t mean you are mindful. You don’t understand the concepts (which by the way are just watered down pyschological concepts with christianity thrown in)! You care about image and money and little else. Also, please stop telling the same “well, back in my day” stories when your son (my husband) is struggling and needing emotional support. You’re anecdotes are neither supportive nor inspirational. Also, not all women are competitive. Your wife and her friends’ behavior is not indicative of all women. I have incredible female friends and family who are strong, intelligent women. Just because you are threatened by these types of women does not make them “high maintenance.” It makes you less of a man.
BIL: Everyone knows you’re an alcoholic. I’m so sorry that your family can’t admit it and enables you by drinking excessive amounts in front of you and encouraging you to do the same.
Dad: I haven’t talked to you in 10 years. Why did you facebook friend request me after my wedding? That’s weird. Just call if you want to talk. If you don’t want to talk, don’t facebook me.
Post # 14
@Tabby1024: In-Laws – please leave us alone.
Post # 15
Dear FMIL: I love you and I think you are so sweet. That being said, we do not at all have the same taste in jewelry. I hope I didn’t offend you by not wanting to take that necklace for my something borrowed…it is so not my taste, but I appreciate the gesture. I wish we could find something that I do want to borrow from you, because i think the something borrowed should be from someone whose marriage you admire and I certainly admire yours!
Dear Best Man: You are an inconsiderate ass. I hope someday someone is as inconsiderate to you as you have been to us. Does your friendship with FI really mean so little that you can’t take 15 min out of an entire MONTH to get measured for your wedding clothes??? Don’t think I will forget how you have acted soon. I may have to spend time with you, but right now I do not like you. At all.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center
Dear Parents and Future Parents: I really would like a list of people you want to invite someday. Also, please have opinions, and let me know them. It’s hard to make all these decisions with little input.
Dear FI: I know I make fun of you a little for caring about random details, but I absolutely love and adore you for it. It makes this so much more fun, knowing that you care about OUR wedding day, and making it reflect both of us.
Dear everyone else: I will let you know when I have a DIY project that I need help with! I am glad you’re all so willing to help and excited about it, but first I need to get the caterer, the baker, the DJ, and a few other items settled. THEN we can start on the crafty fun!
Hm. I guess I’m pretty lucky that we don’t really have any drama… yet…