Post # 1
My name is Overjoyed. And planning a wedding has made me a stark raving lunatic. I care about stuff I never knew I’d care about and I’m pretty sure my fiance is the only person in the world who still likes me. That said, I decided to calm my nerves by making a list of things that I actually consider to be no big deal. Feel free to add on. It’s therapeutic!
1. shades of white
My veil is white. My dress is ivory. And my sash is off-white. My bridal clutch is so dark it’s nearly beige. And you couldn’t pay me to care. I barely notice and anyone who does notice will hopefully not see it as a problem. Anyone who does see it as a problem will hopefully be polite enough to not mention it. Anyone who does mention it will be forceably removed.
2. bridal dieting
Listen, I don’t need or want to lose anymore weight. In fact, my dress is actually TOO big as it is. I was sitting here half-heartedly making plans to run a 5k next weekend and doing calorie related arithmetic in my head when I realized: hey, I won’t be a thin bride. But eff it, I’m also not a thin lawyer, a thin Carnival Queen (annually, I parade costumed, with my belly on display for the masses) or a thin anything else. Indeed I’ve not been a thin anything since I was about 15 and it’s always been fine. Why is being a curvy bride (of all things) so awful? Oh right, it isn’t. Now hand me some cheez-its.
3. that which is deemed by others as “tacky”
That word already means nothing and everything all at once. Anybody who thinks anything about my wedding (including my electronic save-the-dates, my photo strip invitations or my soul-food reception dinner) doesn’t have to come.
4. People who RSVP “no”
Actually, at this point, I just want the RSVP. It’s cool if you can’t come, just let me know. Last night I found myself looking at my guest list and fantasizing about how much money I could save if certain people can’t make it. A colleague mentioned casually last night that she wouldn’t be able to come and I legit had to feign disappointment. Extra $200 in MY pocket. Cha-ching.
Post # 3
@Overjoyed: Hear hear! I love your attitude! I am going to try to adopt some of it, if that’s ok :). I’ve been sitting here stressing over things, and then I came across this post, and it made me feel so much better. Thank you!
Post # 4
@Overjoyed: This made me smile. I really enjoy you and your writing style. I wish I didn’t care about being a thin bride, but I do. We are having an elopement and my “I don’t care” list includes not caring if people get mad at us for our decision, don’t give us any gifts, or act sour 😛
Post # 5
I like this thread 🙂 Similar to your #3…
I don’t care if you don’t like my wedding. We’re going pretty non-traditional in a family of church weddings so eyebrows will be raised. But this wedding is very “us”, with a lot of personal touches. If someone doesn’t like it then they probably don’t really like us very much. So we don’t care what they think.
Post # 7
@Shannanicorn: girl, the list of things I DO care about is embarassingly long. I actually made a thread last night having to do with what I can do to ensure that my rehearsal dinner is sufficiently distinct from my wedding reception. And please believe I was dead serious. And other bees were actually indulging my shennanigans! Talking about “well, maybe you could hire an orchestra? That should make it different, right?” Puh-leeze. I only just got a hold of myself this afternoon.
@MrsPanda99: That’s a huge compliment. I appreciate it! And gifts! I completely forgot to add gifts to the “ish I couldn’t care less about” list.
Post # 8
@Overjoyed: Ha! Just said #4 to my FI this morning!!
This is the best attitude to have about the wedding. While I think it’s human to WANT people to love your wedding also, as long as YOU love everything about your wedding, that’s all that matters. 🙂
Post # 9
@Overjoyed: +1 million
When I bought my dress we sized on the bust measurement and they said I would have to take in the waist. But then I gained some weight. When it came in, the dress fit like a glove! No dieting for this bride!
I also do not care about what people wear to my wedding. I have given them fair warning of the environment (outdoor on grass) and very general formality level (casual) and will leave it to them to make themselves comfortable.
Post # 10
@Overjoyed: Oh, I love this list. Especially the “tacky” part. I have a friend who is very particular (aka kind of a snob) and honestly I find myself planning parts of my wedding and wondering if she would roll her eyes at it. She’s already told me about the weddings of two of her friends where she thought things were tacky (including saying her friend’s wedding dress looked cheap – I saw the pics on FB and thought it was gorgeous). I’ve been stressing myself out wondering how to avoid being the wedding that gets talked about as being tacky!
But seriously, who cares. It’s just one day. I’m just trying to get married and then I’m being kind enough to supply people with free food and booze afterward. If they have something negative to say, I’m taking away their free booze privileges! 🙂
Thanks for the reminder that it’s okay to let this stuff go. It’s all going to be okay.
Post # 11
I am on a mission to KILL the word “tacky.” Have you seen my Tacky Wedding Bingo I made? I posted it on a thread a few months back (any fellow OffBeat Bride Tribesmaids may remember it, thus giving away my identity 🙂 I know y’all are out there 😉
Basically, I was posting over on OBB after a particularly bad day of having everything about our wedding so far called “tacky”, so I made this handy guide to determine if *your* wedding is in fact tacky, too.
Bonus points if you get a Blackout:
Post # 12
@badabing88: Oh hey! I nearly got a blackout! Result!
Post # 13
@Overjoyed: Man I so agree – I have some women appalled that I am not more worried about some things. I agree with you that you have to choose the details that count and let everything else go.
I so agree on the rsvp thing – I wish more then half would decline – my caterer hasn’t even asked for a deposit yet – could you imagine the money I would save? Plus small parties are more fun right?
Other things I don’t care about:
Chair covers – Just. No.
Bathrooms are porta-johns – yes, not as classy as I would like…but we’re in a field – what were you expecting – I am providing a tent and ‘bathroom’ baskets and a full length mirror – so what’s the difference really.
The same goes for everything else that has to do with logistics of being in a field – I have to generators for electricity – don’t care. I have to seat my guests inthe sun for 20 minutes – it’s late afternoon and. its. 20. minutes. Walking in a field? Its on the invite that we are in a hayfield… its a farm kids – don’t fool yourself.
Plastic plates and non-linen napkins – I ordered the plates from smartyhadaparty and I think they ‘look’ nice – but guess what I get to throw them away while your bridal party is stuck washing dishes either saturday night or sunday morning.
Making my bridesmaids dress up as clones of eachother – I love each one because they are unique – why would I dress them like dolls and expect them to be happy about it? Wear what’s comfortable…geez.
FI’s bachelor party details – “Eff anything with a live breath and I’ll break your arms – other then that have fun.” He knows I would rather not know details so he keeps it between him and his groomsmen. I just found out they had a date selected last week – still don’t care…
Rain – I refuse to bother with stressing about it. In fact I have made umbrellas part of the BM’s gift – let it rain – it’s nature – I can’t control and I won’t pretend to care.
My wedding is meant to look hand-made because I feel a direct vengeance against an industry that wants to charge me 70 – 200 dollars for a bouquet when it costs 3-4 per stem (sometimes less). Thanks, I’ll wrap these up myself and save 400 bucks. My wedding sash – handmade – because I could by the applique and ribbon for less then 30 bucks while there are brides out there paying 200+ dollars for one. My cakes/dessert table will be made by a friend because I refuse to pay 500-700 for a cake when people usually dont liek the taste anyways? why not have a a bunch of homeade cakes that people will actually like?!
I’ll stop – but I so agree with you – there has to be a point where you let things go and not let other people’s opinions and ideas work their way into your brain. Good on you 🙂
Post # 14
@JenGirl: “But then I gained some weight. When it came in, the dress fit like a glove! No dieting for this bride!”
I know THAT’S right!
As for what other people wear: that’s a good one. I don’t care. For a while there, I tried to make myself have a problem with other people wearing white. But…yeah nope. It wouldn’t stick. It makes no difference to me. My MOH was trying her darndest to stand beside me. At my wedding. Wearing a lyrcra screenprinted beach coverup and I got tired of fighting with her. Finally I just decided: know what, wear the stupid spandex thing, but you’ll be seated in the audience like everyone else. And as I just mentioned, I don’t care what people in the audience wear. See, friends? That’s how you change a do-care to a don’t-care.
Post # 15
Real Flowers, Color of Men’s Tuxes, at this point MY SHOES (oy I do not have $100 to blow on shoes!), What music we dance to. I can only stress so much before I throw in the towel and say WHATEVER.
Post # 16
@badabing88: This. is. awesome. May I post it to my FB page?