(Closed) Things people say that don’t help (especially when you’re stressed)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It only makes me mad when my Fi says : its ok babe dont cry.

lol um…im bawling but since you said not to …ok.

He’s so sweet though and amazing and supportive but i totally feel you. i can be very sensitive too and once the tears flow I, personally, have no logic.

Post # 4
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

‘You just need to be strong’ Like I didn’t know I need to be strong, and no I need to do a lot of other things, that’s why I’m stressed!

Post # 6
Member
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I actually recently read an article in a magazine that lists “things to say” and “things NOT to say” to someone who’s going through a crisis…one of the things you DON’T say is:

 

You chakra must be out of balance.

 

yea that won’t help. thanks.

Post # 7
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

“Everything is going to work out”

I HATE when people say that. Sometimes things just don’t work out. Deal with it. 

Post # 8
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

When my daughter was diagnosed with autism all people could say to me was “She’s going to be fine” or “It could be worse.”

Like, I get that it could be worse but it still doesn’t make what we’re going through a picnic, you know? And yes she will be fine but there’s no known cause or cure for this, so we’re dealing with something massively uncertain and scary. It’s ok to be scared, I wish people would stop trying to take that perfectly human reaction away from me.

Phew, that felt good.

Post # 9
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I hate it when people say, “well, I remember when…” and compare how because they went through something you deserve to go through it too.  My FI’s parents say this all the time!! We will be stressed about money and they always laugh and say “Well I remember when we only had a ten dollars for groceries and FMIL had to buy day old bread, pregnant and crying.” They tell this story EVERY TIME.  It just makes me mad because now they laugh at it and show no compassion for our situation.  If you’ve been through the same thing then be empathetic!! Don’t laugh!!!!!!

Post # 10
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

When they make a broad generalization about one isolated instance. Like you’re short on money one month because some unexpected expenses came up, and they go, “If you learned to manage your money better, you wouldn’t always be short on cash.” “My god, you’re right. I should definitely start budgeting for airfare to funerals on a regular basis! When will yours be, you know, so I can plan ahead?”

Post # 11
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I can’t stand: “Everything happens for a reason.”  Yeah, in retrospect you can rationalize ANYTHING. Just let me be upset!

Post # 12
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

The worse one is…”It’s only one day.”

 

What!!!

Post # 13
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

“Maybe it was just meant to be and there’s something better on its way.” Really? No, it was not meant to be, I f-ed up. Now I’m mad about it. This isn’t ‘for the best.’ Rawr. 

@linguo42: I love that! Lol.

Post # 14
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I have a another one.. ‘That happens a lot’ or ‘You’re not the first person that’s been throught this’. I know, I don’t mean to be a brat, but it reeeeeeaaally doesnt help at all.

Post # 15
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@KatyElle: “It could be worse” is BY FAR my least favorite!

When I was seriously struggling with depression lots of people would say stuff like, well you don’t have cancer, you’re not a child starving in Africa, lots of people have it worse than you. Um, yeah, I know that, I’m not stupid. That doesn’t make me want to kill myself any less, but thanks…

I also hated hearing “It will get better.” But when will it get better? After 8 years of it not getting better it’s really annoying to hear. Yes, it did get better, but those words still annoy me.

Oh, and the people who always said “Everyone has hard times in life.” That doesn’t make the hard times any easier. And depression is a disease, it’s not like I’m sad for a bit and get over it, I’m constantly struggling with not wanting to live, not the same thing at all.

(FYI, I’ve really improved a lot recently, so don’t be freaked out by my rant, haha.)

Post # 16
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@suburban: i hate when people say that. its one day, but its the one day ive been dreaming about for mywhole freaking life so excuse me for making a big deal!

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