Post # 1
I’ve had many moments where people say to me “You’ll think differently when you have kids of your own.” or “You’ll understand when you have kids” etc.
But I can’t for the life of me think of what these moments/topics are right now.
Can you list some of the ones you’ve gotten?
(I’m not asking for people’s opinions or positions, I would just like a list of topics people believe that our opinions will change once we have kids of our own).
And I’ll get back to you after I have kids. LOL
Post # 3
Well, given my most recent thread, it’s my child-free wedding! I’ve had some people express to me that it’s not very nice to have a child-free wedding, but “we don’t expect you to understand yet” because “you’ll understand when you have children”. Ummmm…sure. The children that I don’t want and don’t intend to ever have? Yeah. I’ll totally understand.
Post # 4
Well the “beginner” one always seems to be about the icky side of things…
WOMEN – Gosh, I could never see myself going thru hours of labour & excruciating pain…
“You’ll think differently WHEN you are pregnant, and about to have a child of your own”
MEN – Diapers, ick… no thank you
“You’ll think differently about all that when they are your own babies”
Post # 5
I think it also depends on your personality. I’m not very maternal, and I have a fierce sense of independance…I certainly wouldn’t be the type who would bat an eye to leave my child at home for a night while I go out and have a good time. I’m certainly not the type to also not place an importance on taking care of myself, either…ie: I’m not going to stop going to the gym because I feel bad leaving the baby for an hour. Of this I’m sure because I know myself very well.
But, I just think that mainly people are more forgiving of public temper tantrums…childless people may think that their children will never do that…I think you get over that once you have kids of your own…
Post # 6
-screaming children/babies in public, I know now that NO ONE wants that kid to stop screaming more than the mother
-bodily fluids, lol, Yeah. I’m not grossed out anymore.
-kids at weddings… Nope, I still don’t care about this one. I’d rather leave the kid at home.
Post # 7
Oh geeze, so many things…these are some that I’ve been told recently
- I will never ever want to leave them with someone else, even to go on a date with my husband.
- I will suddenly stop caring at all about myself or how I look, because my kids will be more important than anything else
- Discipline has nothing to do with how kids behave
Yeah…I don’t really believe any of these things, guess time will tell!
Post # 8
my ex used to say to me ‘when you have kids of your own you’ll understand… for almost everything. then when we had a baby that changed to when you have three kids you’ll understand …i could never win.
Post # 9
“You’ll never understand until you have a kid of your own.”
Post # 10
@bellasperanza: Haha. It’s not that you stop caring how you look… it’s that you stop having the energy to do something about it.
Post # 11
I don’t believe anything they tell me because like stokieGal just pointed out, you can’t win. I also don’t believe anything they tell me because people who tell me such things obviously think they are superior to me in that they have children.
oh? Well don’t let me hear you bitch a single word related to having children. If you having children makes you better than me, I don’t want to hear anything about back pains and diaper woes and screaming kids etc. Why would I hear that from you? Children are awesome, aren’t they?
Post # 12
“You’ll change your mind!” hahahaha
Uhh thanks, but fuck no I won’t, pardon my French.
Post # 13
The prior posters have provided a good list so far. Another one that I have had people say to me involved my attempts to have a beautiful home and furniture — that, once I had kids, I wouldn’t care what happens to my furniture.
Although, I still do not have any children of my own, when I married DH, I became an instant stepmom, and I definitely still care about my furniture, LOL. I’m always reiterating, “No food or beverages in the family room or living room. No, you cannot take food or sodas upstairs to your room.” Also, when young children are visiting, I move lamps, cover my coffee table, and remove breakable items, etc. I definitely still care. 🙂
Post # 14
I’ve had people say to me, after I comment on why the heck someone would bring their infant to a late night movie…
“You don’t understand because you don’t have kids. I’m sure once you have children you’ll be bringing them too”
Um no. because that is a particular parenting style that I do not plan on adopting. Not once did my parents take me or my brothers to the movies late at night. So why would I do it?
Post # 15
@Woodstock: I ASKED THAT QUESTION TOO!! Who the heck brings an infant and a 4 month old to a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises? WHO?!
Sure as hell not me. I agree completely – why would I practice such terrible parenting?
Post # 16
@Brielle: Your post made me think of this. 🙂