Post # 1
DH and I told our immediate families that we were expecting over Thanksgiving. At only 5 weeks, it a bit early but we’re pretty close to our parents/siblings so we felt comfortable sharing.
Happily, everyone was very excited and please about the news. After the congratulations were through my FIL and my mom tacked on these little bombs of WTF.
From FIL: So, you know you’re going to put on some weight right?
From my MOTHER; Did you gain abt weight yet? What does DH think about you getting bigger?
Uhm, thanks guys? I’m only growing a human here. Yes, I’m going to gain weight. No, I’m not excited about it but that’s what happens. You should know, you’ve BOTH HAD CHILDREN.
If it’s not polite to ask someone about their weight, why do people think it’s okay to make comments to a pregnant woman?
Sheesh. Thanks, I had to get that off my chest.
Post # 3
@PinkPandaBear: “let it roll off your back like water on a duck.”
It could have been a lame attempt at making a joke, If it continues let them know politely that you dont feel its appropriate for them to make comments like that about your weight and it hurts your feelings. Honesty is the best policy. Congrats!
Post # 4
@MrsHoneyC: Thanks :). You’re right, I choose to ignore it and I think it came from a good place. I just needed to vent it out
Post # 5
@PinkPandaBear: I totally get it! I’m 36 weeks, and was told by a random stranger this week that i was as large as a beach ball…. 0_o i swear people think commenting on a pregnant woman’s body is socially okay and not rude at all.
Post # 6
I think it is generational. When I announced to my mom, she was happy, but the conversation quickly turned to her reassuring me that she didn’t gain much weight or get stretch marks, so I won’t. great, only problem was I didn’t ask and didn’t care.
When we announced to my grandparents, instead of saying “congrats” (which they have yet to say), they started in on an hour long conversation about how fat pregnant women get, how awful Kate middleton looked the day after giving birth and how my grandma “never looked pregnant” like that was a proud accomplishment. Nothing could get them to change the subject.
it is an awful reaction, but not uncommon. Try not to let it get to you.
Post # 7
Get used to it! People will openly stare at you our in public when you’re showing. Its like you are the first KU woman they’ve ever seen lol.
Post # 8
I find it annoying too. My sister ci stably stares at my belly, ughh…I feel like a green bug. Common people! Womem have babies everyday.
Post # 9
“We’re very concerned about BrandNewBride’s weight. We think she might be anorexic.”
> Thanks for implying I’m such an awful mother I’d starve my unborn child, guys. Love you, too.
“You eat like a pig in a TROUGH!”
> I was eating APPLES.
“Are you sure you should be eating that much butter? I think you should try artificial/whipped butter instead.”
> Yes, let me add chemicals to my body as opposed to a natural product. Also, I wouldn’t be eating so many rolls if you people hadn’t decided that lunch was not an important meal for the 30 weeks pregnant chick!
“Are you SURE you’re pregnant?!”
> Got this one right up until 28 weeks. First 10 times, whatever. But after that, it gets a little insulting. It’s not my fault that I’m not showing! It’s apparently related to my core muscles from running. I know it’s bizarre that I’m “a size 2 and 7 months pregnant and you can’t tell I’m pregnant and where exactly is that baby hiding?”
“You MUST have a deep uterus!”
> No! Stop! Just… Stop. You’ve taken it too far. I’m not discussing the shape and placement of my uterus with you. You are not my OB!
Post # 10
@PinkPandaBear: Ugh, it just gets worse.
What is really grilling my goat is people who think that have any right to weigh in on the gender of the baby. I ripped DH’s friend’s head off when he said “Well it better be a boy in there, we all know your DH wants a boy!” I honestly made a scene at a friend’s housewarming. I went on and on and on about how I know DH wants a boy (he actually doesn’t care at all, the other day I told him I had a feeling that baby is a girl and he got all giddy), and how I will be such a failure and no one will love my baby if it turns out to be a girl. The moron got the point but I was beyond pissed off. On the other hand my mother goes on and on about how she wants a girl because she alreay has a grandson. I swear I’m just a failure either way.
Post # 11
@PinkPandaBear: Lol people are crazy, I can’t believe they said that to you. I get the total opposite. Are you eating enough? You’re eating for two, make sure you get enough. Are you afraid of weight gain, don’t be, it’ll come right off after. Women in our family dont get stretch marks. ….after a while I’m like okayyyy, but I know they’re just trying to be reasurring.
Post # 12
@PinkPandaBear: People don’t think. Here is some of my list:
Lady that knows DH after we told her we were finding out the gender to “plan”: “Well, if you have to find out the gender just to plan perhaps you shouldn’t be having kids in the first place.” –yes, because apparently people who find out the gender because they want gender specific items are too busy to have kids.
Guy I’ve known my whole life after I told him I was pregnant: “Oh you are? I would never have noticed since you’ve always been a chunky girl. Congrats by the way.” –coming from a guy who has always been big, so big in fact that when he was a cop they had to reenforce his cop car seat with metal rods to support his weight.
…aaaannnd most recently as of Wednesday. We told MIL we were having a boy by bringing her flowers at work and there ws another employee there. MIL asked to see my baby bump since she hasn’t seen me in weeks. The employee said this: “Oh…are you sure that’s a baby bump?”
What the actual eff is that supposed to mean?
I try not to let it bother me because people are stupid when they say things sometimes, and I think fumble to find wording that won’t piss off the pregnant lady, lol. They end up failing 99.9% of the time.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
“Please tell me you’re going to X.” (Where X= give birth in a hospital/at home/in a birth center; use pain meds/not use pain meds, breast feed, co-sleep/not co-sleep.) SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
ETA: “Are you sure you’re actually pregnant?” WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK.
Post # 14
lol.. all of these make me laugh.
Maybe your MIL and Mother reacted with weight comments instantly because they were self conscious about weight when they were pregnant? Just a guess. I’m sure it wasn’t meant in a rude way. People say really weird things sometimes, especially when they are surprised/excited.
Post # 15
@PinkPandaBear: I swear people don’t think before they speak & their words are so much more abrasive & inappropriate then they were prepregnancy. When I told my mom I was pregnant she said, “are you sure?”
DH & I aren’t sharing baby names with peoplle & aren’t going to name DD before she’s born, 1)because I want to see her before I name her and 2) because I don’t want other peoples opinions on baby names. When we say she doesn’t have a name yet people react like we are the most horrible people ever, “what you haven’t named her yet?” – come on people she won’t grow up nameless. My mom’s husband said to me last night, “when are you going to have that baby?” I said “in 16 weeks” he replied, “so she’ll be here in like 2 1/2 months then?” “no she’ll be here in 4 months” “are you sure?” “well I can’t be positive when she’ll arrive I do know that in 2 1/2 months she won’t be fully cooked so I’m really hoping she stays in there until at least March.” We ate thanksgiving “dinner” at 3 yesterday, and around 7ish I was holding my 15 month old nephew and sharing a snack with him, my sister looked at me and said “you are eating again? how could you possibly be hungry, I’m still full. You are pregnant I guess you are allowed to be hungry again.” WTF peeps?!? Oh and I had my first random stranger touch my belly this week, creepy!
Post # 16
Yeah – I had that happen a couple of times so far 🙁 I think it really comes down to people thinking that because we’re pregnant, we’re automatically ok with the changes happening with our body. And it’s nothing personal if they comment on it because it’s not in our “control.”
I had a boss (I report to three) ask me if I had used fertility treatment. Um…I’ve only been working here for just over a month – not really feeling inclined to tell you how I got pregnant, thanks.